


Shadows and Storms

by MorallyGrey



Category: GreedFall (Video Game)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Torture, Whump, and a very worried and stressed Benjamin De Sardet, still some fluffy moments, vasco whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:41:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 44,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorallyGrey/pseuds/MorallyGrey
Summary: Shortly after closing down the Ghost Camp, Benjamin De Sardet receives a note from Quartermaster Manfred asking him to return to New Serene. Not even a day later, Captain Vasco goes missing after walking out of the Hikmet residence due to a misunderstanding. It is only after a series of grim discoveries that they find out that the two are linked and learn what has happened. Ghosts have come back to haunt them all: Captain Rolf escaped prison and is determined to get his revenge on De Sardet and anyone who assisted him, starting with his lover. Warning: Includes a few chapters of torture. There's whump and lots of comfort at the end. There'll be about 30 chapters I think.
Relationships: De Sardet/Vasco (GreedFall)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	1. A Perfect Moment

**Author's Note:**

> I ran out of Vasco's fics so I made my own. I'm hoping the layout for this doesn't go screwy but if it does I'll edit it. I have up to like chapter 20 written at the moment, so there'll be frequent updates. We'll get the ball rolling with some fluff, I hope you like this story.

_De Sardet_

De Sardet yawned as he leaned his head against Captain Vasco's shoulder while he and his companions sat around the fire that night. They all sat on the floor, except Petrus who had a stool for the sake of his back. De Sardet and Vasco’s fingers had entwined an hour ago, and still Vasco’s thumb brushed back and forth against his hand. The softness of it tickled, but De Sardet couldn’t help but sleepily stare at it with a soft smile and a yawn.

It had been a long day, and his body was starting to ache from the fights, even if they’d been somewhat easy, against somewhat normal beasts. Everything felt so right, so warm and still. There wasn’t a single thing he could have changed in that moment. Vasco always seemed to have that effect on him, that soft smile, that glint in his eyes.  
  
As if reading his mind, Vasco smiled down at him and wrapped a strong arm around his back, pulling him that little bit closer. The long day of travelling and fighting was taking its toll, and De Sardet was so tired he was surprised he hadn't dropped his skewer into the fire as he waited for the large chunk of bread on the end to crisp up and the butter to melt into it. His mouth watered at the thought. They'd all already eaten their evening meal, but it was nice to share a few moments together as a group, with nothing to worry about, to be able to bask in the peace. 

Aphra stuck the tip of her tongue out absentmindedly as he toasted her bread to perfection. Kurt was yawning and not paying all that much attention to his while Siora held hers and Petrus', to save him from backache. De Sardet was happy they were able to get along better than he expected. He wasn’t like the others in Thélème at least.

Vasco hadn’t wanted any bread; his gaze was behind him more than in front. De Sardet had asked about it, but he’d insisted he was fine. He didn’t understand it himself, the camp was a good one, shielded by cliffs for the most part. They were very close to the village of Víghulgsob. Still, Vasco couldn’t settle. He hummed sea shanties softly and De Sardet absentmindedly murmured the words.

He closed his eyes softly, feeling Vasco around him, feeling the soft breath on the back of his neck when Vasco kissed the crown of his head. He could smell fresh pine trees mixed with smoke and Vasco beside him, the smell of leather and the musty soap he used. Vasco reached down, gently taking the skewer from De Sardet's hands, probably realising he was going to drop it. It was such a perfect moment, one, like all the others, he knew wouldn't last so he savoured it. Vasco chuckled softly beside him, probably at how he was drifting off in his arms but De Sardet didn’t care. The calming feeling of the woods, the crackling of the fire. He could feel himself growing sleepy…

De Sardet jumped slightly when there was a sudden shift of wood in the fire and Kurt grumbled. Vasco's grip tightened ever so slightly for a moment. He'd been so jumpy that night, on edge. De Sardet brought his hand up to Vasco’s chest in a reassuring way.

De Sardet saw Kurt's bread had fallen into the fire and De Sardet couldn't help but chuckle at his misfortune. Kurt got a new chunk ready and shoved his stick back into the fire to wait. He took his own skewer back from Vasco, withdrew the bread from the fire and tore it in half to share with his love. Both struggled to try and eat it while it was piping hot.

"So what's the plan for tomorrow, Greenblood?" We don't have a whole lot to do right now if anything," Kurt said.  
De Sardet sighed, remembering all his responsibilities, the list of problems in his mind to sort through. "We can head down into Hikmet for the day, resupply, eat at the tavern and get some proper rest. After that, we'll have to head back to New Serene. I received a message from Quartermaster Manfred…"

"Is something wrong?" Vasco asked softly, his thumb rubbing De Sardet's arm as he held him.   
"I don't know,” De Sardet admitted. It had been a strange message he’d received. “The message was vague. I didn't want to say and worry you all when there's nothing we can do yet. It concerns the secret regiment we… dismantled last month, he didn't want the message getting in the wrong hands so I have to wait to see him to find out. My best guess is that a friend in a high place is intervening, trying to stop Rolf's trial. He said to come as soon as we’re able, but I promised you all a break, and we need supplies so it will have to wait until after Hikmet."

Kurt sighed, "It wouldn't surprise me. That snake will wriggle and writhe all the way up to the executioner's block. I doubt a day will make any difference since he’s locked up."  
"I don't get the impression you or Manfred is overly worried, so hopefully it's a problem that can be easily remedied?" Vasco said, blowing on his bread and taking a cautious bite. "But to be able to smell the sweet sea air for a while… Oh, I miss my ocean."

De Sardet looked up at him and wiped a buttery crumb from the corner of his mouth with a smile. Why did he have to always be so perfectly adorable? "I know, love. We can go for a good walk on the docks once it's sorted, see what you’ve been missing out on?"  
Vasco smiled and kissed the top of his head again. "You know the way to my heart, Tempest, thank you."

Vasco deserved some time with the Nauts. He didn’t like feeling responsible for the fact he wasn’t able to see his family, the deep blue which would always be his first love. It wasn’t right to take him away from it, Admiral’s orders or not. De Sardet pressed his head against his shoulder a little more and reached up to squeeze his hand. He hoped it came across as saying ' _anything for you_ '.

De Sardet looked up to see the worry deep in Kurt's eyes, memories flickering amongst the flames that reflected off his eyes. He looked so lost, so alone. "Kurt," De Sardet said softly, breaking him out of his trance-like state. "Try not to worry, the men will all get their justice."  
Kurt sighed, "I hope so… there's nothing I can do about it yet anyway. No point worrying, it just... stings."  
"I understand. We will get this sorted, I promise."

The silence was comfortable, but De Sardet’s thoughts were racing. He let Manfred’s words repeat in his mind.  
 _We’ve encountered a problem that I dare not disclose through paper. I fear we will need your aid to remedy it. I humbly request your return to New Serene when you are able, and I ask you to take great caution.”_

Vasco had read that note with him, and he wondered if that was why he was so jumpy. Did he expect an attack of some description? He didn’t like not being able to help him relax. He was like a guard dog, alert, still faced, and focused. Even if he was holding him, and giving him soft affection, his attention was elsewhere.

It wasn't long until Petrus yawned loudly and stretched. "I think I'll be toddling off to bed, rest my bones."  
"You fought well today, Petrus," De Sardet observed. "Thank you, you saved me from bad wounds today."  
"You're most welcome, my child. It is my job to fight away the shadows that stain the earth… and to protect my friends."  
Kurt rubbed his face tiredly. "Aye, few hours kip doesn't sound so bad."

"Well hold on, or I'll never get to sleep!" Aphra exclaimed, rushing to get ready before Kurt and Petrus went to bed. De Sardet felt Vasco chuckle again and it warmed his heart. Still, his gaze drifted at the slightest rustle of leaves. He really was never going to get used to camping out.

Siora looked up at De Sardet and Vasco and smiled, deciding to sleep as well and give the two a little time alone. "Goodnight, _on ol menowí_ , Captain. May you have the sweetest dreams."  
"Goodnight, Siora, rest well," De Sardet smiled back at her.

Within the hour, Kurt and Petrus were locked in some sort of subconscious ferocious snoring competition, leaving Aphra to struggle to stay asleep, tossing and turning while Siora mumbled soft words in her first language.

And just like that, everything melted away. It was just De Sardet and Vasco, the man of his dreams- no, beyond that. Vasco was everything to him. De Sardet turned around so he was straddling Vasco's lap, looking into his eyes, smiling softly and kissing him gently, letting it draw out before wrapping his arms around him, burying his face in the crook of his neck. He was so perfect, but part of him felt cruel. Vasco so often spoke of the ocean, he missed it terribly, and it felt wrong to keep him from it.

"Are you alright, Tempest? You seem troubled," Vasco whispered.

De Sardet looked at him with tired eyes, tracing his fingertips over the tattoos on Vasco's face. "I just hope the message is nothing drastic… That and… I'm sorry you've been away from the sea for so long because of my role. I know how important it is to you."

Vasco cupped his cheek. "Aye… the sea is a beautiful place. On still nights like these, all you can see is sky, filled with an uncountable amount of stars, it spreads out as far as the eye can see, as far as your imagination will let them go. You hear the gentle hush of the waves and everything just… it's incredible, Benjamin, really it is. It's my home, all I knew until I met you. It is not your fault that I’m not there."

De Sardet's frown deepened until Vasco brought his thumb over his lips. De Sardet couldn't help but kiss it. "But when I have you here, when I look into those beautiful pale blue eyes of yours… the sea amounts to nothing. In fact, your eyes always seem to carry the sea in them, the soft waves, that deep mischievous mysteriousness… They’re… You… You’re everything right in this world," Vasco smiled softly. "Having you here, hearing your breathing, your heartbeat, your touch… It's worth it, Benjamin. The Admiral skullied me, not you. You don't need to feel guilty for doing your job. We're together, that's all that matters to me. I will always choose you over the sea."

De Sardet felt his heart swell and kissed him hard. It was a simple kiss, but it carried so much emotion as De Sardet kissed Vasco's warm lips, still carrying the slight taste of hot butter. They were lips he never wanted to part from. Moments like this made everything worth it. He reached forward to hug him again. "You know what I see in your eyes?" De Sardet breathed.

De Sardet frowned in confusion when Vasco suddenly turned to look behind him for a long moment before giving up. "Pah, there's nothing to my eyes. Piss yellow-"  
"No, not at all," De Sardet said sternly, sitting back up to press a finger to Vasco's lips.   
"Your eyes are golden like the sun, they've got fantastic little specks of silver… they remind me of fields of barley, the way they all sway together in the breeze, that special way you feel as you run down along and let the stems brush your hand… I see sweet honey drizzled on fresh pastries, that warm glow of the sun that caresses your skin and gently wakes you for a better day. I see your eyes and I see freedom, comfort… home. You have beautiful eyes, Vasco. You're my treasure, my light."  
  


De Sardet shook himself out of his deep thoughts and saw the colour rise in Vasco's cheeks and he smiled shyly. "I think we've been reading too much poetry, but thank you, Benjamin… it's nice, hearing what you think of me, how you see me… No one has ever said something so kind about me before."  
De Sardet kissed him again before reluctantly moving to sit beside him again. Holding Vasco's hand in his.

Vasco's eyes didn't fully settle, they were still constantly looking around.

"I'm… I'm going to stay up tonight, keep watch. I don't think I'll ever learn to settle in the woods," Vasco said.  
"I'd noticed you were uneasy. I could do it, or stay up with you?"  
"No, thank you. You should get some sleep too, you've used a lot of your energy today. Rest for me. I'm used to being on watch. Something just… isn't sitting right with me. I can't put my finger on it... Not sure I want to either."

Vasco and De Sardet shuffled back to their fur skin, and Vasco invited him to use his thigh as a pillow and he could only accept. He shouldered off his coat and lay on top of him. Vasco covered De Sardet with the coat and let his fingers run through his hair to ease De Sardet off to sleep. It usually worked the charm, it was De Sardet's big weakness and Vasco loved to be able to make him happy, relaxed. De Sardet just wished he could do the same for him.

"Wake me if you need me," De Sardet warned him and he wiggled to get comfortable, hugging his leg.  
"I will, promise."  
"Goodnight, Vasco… I love you."  
"I love you too, Tempest. Goodnight."

Vasco hummed a soft sea shanty, Leave her, Johnny, which helped De Sardet drift off even faster. Soon, the air was filled with another very soft snore as De Sardet fell asleep.

(Figured I'd add a picture of my De Sardet. He is a good boi:) 


	2. Ambush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whump time, but Vasco isn't getting caught yet. That comes in a few chapters, just have to build everything up for the big whumpening but there'll be plenty of fluff, comfort and drama/angst in the meanwhile.
> 
> Warning in this one for quite a graphic injury befalling our Captain (axe wound which leads to shock) but it's not overly described and it gets magic healed but yeah.

_Vasco_

Vasco sat in silence as he kept watch, not that it made any difference between Kurt snoring through his broken nose and Petrus laying on his back. Vasco shook his head softly, fingers idly gliding through De Sardet's black hair. They were an odd bunch, and certainly not the kind of company he'd usually want to keep, but they were growing on him. They'd all joined together because of Benjamin, and they all seemed to care about one another greatly. He was willing to call them all family as much as any Naut and he was determined to guard them that night.

Something just wasn't sitting right with him. His gut had warned him of trouble and he wasn't going to suppress that feeling. Manfred’s message had not helped his feeling of ill-ease. He'd felt like he'd been watched all night but there was nothing to see. Maybe it was just the animals, the foxes and birds and occasional deer. His senses were fine-tuned for the sea, not somewhere as active as the forests. 

He stayed alert, but still, he smiled to himself, repeating in his head the words De Sardet had desperately told him about his eyes. He'd never had a lover that would say such soft things, who did everything he could to make sure Vasco knew just how important he was. It warned his heart and brought a heat to his cheeks. Oh, how far he'd fallen in love with this man. His brave legate, his Tempest.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as easily as the twig he'd heard behind him. His hand shot to his sword, gripping it tightly. He waited, straining to look through the darkness. Something had to be out there, hiding, waiting. At least on the sea there was no hiding. One had time to prepare for danger. He hated these damned woods!

Vasco couldn't sit any longer. He carefully eased his hand under De Sardet's head and eased him off, noting how he grumbled in his sleep, as though he knew Vasco wasn’t fully keeping to his promise. He didn't want to wake him just yet, not until he was more sure there was danger. He stood, trying to ignore his leg that had fallen asleep. He poisoned his blade and inched forward, straining to look in the thick treeline.

His heart pounded in his chest like a war drum, warning him of an approaching fight. He kept his footfalls light and his breath silent but his body was all too ready to throw adrenaline into his veins. His fingers twitched. Maybe he was being stupid, but he'd rather that than be dead. He was almost at the tree now, almost at arm's length. A few more paces and he'd be able to see.

He didn't have time to take those few steps. There was movement behind him. He turned and brought his sword up before he even registered what he was doing. It clashed against another sword, wielded by a bandit. 

"Wake up!" he bellowed to his group as one bandit became seven all currently focused on him. He had no choice but to fight them, keep them focused on him until the others had a chance. "Arm yourselves!"

Kurt threw himself into consciousness and grabbed his broadsword ready to join the fight before he even knew where it was. De Sardet startled, his head wildly going back and forth until it settled on the fight in front of him. Vasco didn't have the time to do any more side glances to see what was going on, not while he was fighting two men at once, deflecting the blows, jaw clenched, trying to focus. He had to give up a lot of ground, deflecting both wasn't easy when they were working together as they did.

There was movement behind him, when his sword was locked between the two other bandits’. He ducked down and to the side, an act which probably saved his life but the axe still came down hard on the back of his shoulder and was then cruelly yanked out. He roared in pain, feeling skin, muscle and bone give. He dropped down in pain but managed to roll so he didn't get attacked by the two swords.

He ended up stuck on one knee, the pain was blinding but clung to his sword, snatching it up with his other hand to keep fighting, doing just enough to stay alive. He slashed at an approaching man, cutting across his thighs. His arm _burned_. He didn’t fully expect for it to be there when he glanced down. He fought the urge to touch it. For one thing, he didn't want to risk getting poison in the wound. He deflected another strike which made him cry out a second time.

"Vasco!" Magic flashed behind him as De Sardet hurled a massive orb of energy at the man who had hurt him, using pure fury and it killed him immediately. Vasco struggled to block a few strikes from the other men, but no matter the pain, he couldn’t stop fighting. Stopping meant dying. Siora rushed over to protect him as soon as she was able, keeping the two away from him before they could finish him.

He tried to get up to his feet but his world spun, his body trembled and he felt sick. He fell back down, the jarring pain ricocheted down his arm. Kurt was amongst the fight now, managing to get amongst Siora’s fight and pried one of the bandits off her so there was one each. Vasco’s world spun, he knew he had to get up but he couldn’t breathe. His breathing was coming in fast pants and he couldn't settle it. He groaned, doing his best not to fall, trying to get his breathing under control. He tried to drag himself away from the fight, to some sort of shelter, but darkness was eating up his vision, the cruel bite of the axe wouldn't let him move.

Siora slashed down on the bandit's chest, and then used his pain and surprise to run the blade through. Kurt finished his enemy with brutal swiftness and a massive bang made Vasco guess Aphra had fired her rifle… he hoped. His thoughts were quickly blurring. He turned to see De Sardet rolling around the floor with a bandit, the bandit managed to get on top of him, knife in hand. De Sardet rushed to bring his hands up and stop the knife going through him.  
  
Vasco groaned and tried to reach for his pistol, but his arm was in so much pain that it would not obey him. He had to help! He heard a yell from Petrus, saw a flash of power that hit the bandit hard, tossing him back. Kurt didn’t hesitate to pounce and finish the job.

Vasco was relieved, but his breathing was only getting harder. He felt dizzy, sick, he could feel the blood rushing out of the wound, he knew it had cut muscle and he dreaded to imagine the sight. He knew it had hit bone, broken something, even if it had been a small-headed weapon. Dark spots appeared in his vision and he desperately tried to dispel them. He battled with his nausea. He tried to reach up for his collar, to get more air, but he fell over with the sudden imbalance, leaning against the tree. "Vasco!" He looked up slowly seeing De Sardet rushing over to him. He reached out a shaking hand for him.

De Sardet dropped down by his side, cupping his cheek. “Stay with me, Vasco. Hold on! I’m here, just hold on.”

He really hoped he could.

* * *

_De Sardet_

The fight seemed to finish as fast as it started. De Sardet rushed to Vasco’s side, rambling reassurances. He peered over Vasco’s shoulder and grimaced. He needed help for this. It was a bad wound and he needed more energy. Vasco couldn't even open his eyes anymore, but he seemed to be clinging to consciousness. He murmured curses. His breathing came in weak pants, he gripped onto the dead leaves beneath him, trying to hold his nerve. De Sardet cupped his cheek, using his thumb to roll Vasco’s bottom lip down. It was a worrying shade of greyish blue. He had to act fast.

"He’s going into shock, he’s losing too much blood,” De Sardet reported to the others.

“Coat off,” Kurt ordered.  
"No," Vasco snapped, though weakly. "N.No… J.just… I need a minute." De Sardet could see the pain he was in, the sheen of sweat on his brown the tears in his eyes.  
"You don't necessarily have a minute, Captain," Kurt grimaced. "Blood's pouring, time's ticking. Hold him, Greenblood."

De Sardet hushed him gently and together they worked to ease the jacket straight down, so he didn't have to move his injured shoulder. Vasco hissed and whimpered in pain, yelping and cursing when Kurt ripped open his once-white shirt. The wound looked so much worse now, he had to look away, trying to reassure his love instead. He was a healer, but seeing such a wound on his lover’s back twisted his heart. He knew he should have stayed up with him!

"That needs magic, lots of it," Kurt winced. Vasco groaned in dread. He'd been healed enough times to know the pain healing brought. The magic itself was soft and comforting, but the body repairing itself was going to be agonizing for this. De Sardet's soft mumbles seemed to help keep him somewhat grounded, calmer, but they had to act now.

He adjusted how he sat and planted his hand directly onto the wound, drawing a strangled cry from Vasco. He tried to throw himself forward but De Sardet was in front of him, doing his best to hold him still, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw a fist. Kurt grabbed his uninjured arm and good shoulder in time to stop him instinctively lashing out and kept him still.   
"I've got him," Kurt grunted. "You're alright, Vasco, hang on, lad."

The pain no doubt got worse when Siora came up behind him to help him heal the wound, another hand, more pain gouging into the tender skin. De Sardet knew the feeling all too well. He felt awful for having to hurt him like this but there was no choice. It was mending, bones fused, muscles stitched themselves together and went to where they were supposed to be, but De Sardet was running out of energy, as was Siora. He couldn't do much more yet.

Kurt grunted as he battled to keep Vasco from getting away from the help. He knew it was necessary, but that didn’t make him feel any better, it didn’t stop Vasco from reacting to the pain. He threw his head up in the air, gritting his teeth with eyes clamped shut as he tried to stay quiet. Instead, some shrill gasp left his lips, some distorted whimper. De Sardet did his best to hurry up, being mindful of how Vasco’s arm was twitching as his nerves repaired themselves.

"Easy, sailor, almost done. Breathe," Kurt advised, but Vasco couldn't breathe. He couldn't relax his muscles enough to even exhale. He collapsed forward, falling limp into De Sardet's grip. "S.stop," he pleaded. His body was trembling with exertion despite his best efforts to stay upright and strong. His head rested over De Sardet's shoulder, his panting was not getting much better after that.

"We can't stop yet, just a little longer," Kurt encouraged. De Sardet tried to block out Vasco's pleading he had to keep going despite the pain he caused him. Once his shoulder was in better condition, he would still have to treat his shock, but he was drained and exhausted.

Finally, the hands came away from his injury and Vasco could only try to gasp for air, trembling no matter what he did to stop it. Kurt carefully let go of his wrist and they turned him onto his back, with Kurt holding his legs, keeping the blood more to the top half of his body. Aphra covered him with blankets to help keep him warm. De Sardet hadn’t realised how much his hands were shaking until now. Still, he had more he needed to heal. "T.Tempest…" Vasco groaned and then went still, finally falling unconscious.

"Vasco?!" De Sardet exclaimed, feeling for his pulse. It was dangerously weak. "Someone pass me a magic potion so I can finish-"  
"No, you're-" Kurt began.   
“Now!” De Sardet snapped. He wasn’t taking no for an answer. Vasco could still die if they didn’t get this sorted and under control. He didn't care what it meant for his health.

De Sardet snatched up his bag until he found what he was looking for and rushed it down as fast as he could, not caring about its overly sweet taste. Blue smoke radiated from his skin, it felt uncomfortable, yet invigorating. He focused on Vasco, sliding the blanket down, and put a hand on his heart, pushing more healing energy into his barely moving chest, letting it all drain out of him, focusing more on the blood loss than the small remaining wound.

Everyone stayed silent, watching in concern and waiting for Vasco to show improvement. The moments were terrifyingly tense. Soon Vasco’s colour returned to a healthier shade and his breathing wasn’t as feeble and weak. It was only when his eyes flew open and he took in a massive gasp did De Sardet let himself fall backwards into Petrus' waiting arms. He struggled to relax a dizzy spell.

"Alright, no more!” Kurt ordered.  
“Kurt is right, you cannot use any more of your magic,” Siora added urgently.   
It didn’t feel right to just stop, but De Sardet was getting cold, his limbs felt heavy, and he knew if he did any more he’d pass out. Vasco looked more stabilised. He coughed and reached up for De Sardet. De Sardet took his hand and squeezed it. "You're going to be alright."

Vasco nodded with groan, then he turned to look at Kurt.  
“You… you can put my legs down now,” Vasco croaked. Kurt sighed and did so.

“Let’s sit him up, see how his wound is now,” De Sardet said softly.

Together Kurt and De Sardet got him up, but Vasco was still drained. He fell against De Sardet and hugged him tight as they both studied the wound for a moment. “Right now it's small enough to heal on its own, and if you push yourself anymore you'll collapse. Petrus, Aphra, hot water and bandages. Get me a healing potion. We'll get the pain dealt with and you can finish it tomorrow. Vasco would probably agree with me," Kurt said.  
"Aye," he managed. He was so tired, so drained and sore. De Sardet wished there was more he could do but right now Vasco just needed bandages and sleep. That had been far too close of a call. A sidewards, swipe, a little closer to his spine… He might have lost him forever. He shuddered.

But right now he had to focus. He hadn’t lost him. He was here and he needed his help, now in the form of comfort as he calmed down from the pain he'd had to endure. De Sardet sighed softly, “Alright… I’ll wait until tomorrow.”  
Vasco buried his face into De Sardet's chest, trying to tuck away the agony he'd felt, the fear and upset. "I think I'll avoid axes in the future," he tried to remark.   
"That sounds like a good idea," De Sardet acknowledged with a half-hearted smile.

De Sardet settled his hand on the back of his neck, gently itching his scalp, rubbing small circles into the base of his neck, while his arm kept his face from everyone's view. He did what he could to protect his lover’s pride. He knew Vasco hated people seeing him like this, so vulnerable, weak. Most of the time Vasco didn't even want him seeing him like that.

"I'm sorry, treasure," he whispered in his ear. "You should try to sleep. Thank you… you saved us."  
Siora rubbed his back as one might with a child, "There was no other way… It was a bad wound."  
"It's fine," he mumbled. "Had to be done."

De Sardet helped Vasco to relax a bit, letting him focus on the feeling of his breathing as a guide. It also helped to steady out his own breathing as fatigue took over his body a bit at a time. He was getting colder and colder. He needed sleep, but he kept stroking Vasco's hair and kissing the top of his head. Kurt was firm, but considerate as he cut the shirt away entirely and then wiped the blood and dirt away from the wound.  
  
Vasco hissed as Kurt worked, but focused on holding onto De Sardet. De Sardet did all he could to encourage him, stroking his hair and rubbing his back, letting his hands run up and down the tattoo lines. Holding him in his arms was reassuring for both of them, proving that he had made it. He was here, alive and safe. De Sardet kissed his head. He never wanted to let go again. His chest bubbled with the need to protect him from everything.

Once cleaned, Kurt tipped a little of the healing potion directly on the wound, enough to make him groan and clench his fists as it stung. Then it was bandaged up. Kurt put Vasco's arm into a sling despite his protests. "Keep it still," he advised. “If I see that sword in your hand for even a second, I’m taking it off you and selling it.”  
“Fine,” Vasco grumbled. He seemed more interested in clinging to De Sardet. Goosebumps were forming on his skin, so De Sardet shrugged off his sailor's coat and put it over him despite how cold he felt. 

With the wound treated, everyone slowly began to settle again, leaving both men leaning into each other, sore and drained. Vasco shuddered. Kurt shoved the potion in his hand.  
"Drink, then sleep. You'll feel better in the morning. I'll keep watch now."

Vasco grimaced but brought the bottle to his lips with his good arm and drank it down. He pulled a face and tossed the empty bottle beside him. “Still tastes awful.”  
"And yet better than the ale in Hikmet," De Sardet finished, knowing what he'd say, which drew a soft chuckle from him. De Sardet basked in the sound. It was such a relief to be able to hear that sound again.

De Sardet lovingly brushed the hair out of his face with his fingertips. "The important thing is it will help. You should sleep."  
"So should you before you collapse on us," Aphra pointed out.  
De Sardet sighed but he couldn't argue. He helped Vasco back over to their fur and lay down. Vasco rested his injured arm in the gap between him and De Sardet, his head nestled in the crook of his arm as De Sardet held him. He shivered, but he didn’t care about getting cold, not when Vasco was laying beside him in such a condition.

De Sardet reached over to kiss his forehead. Siora took the blankets away from Vasco for a moment and turned them sideways to cover both of them. Vasco shuffled that little bit closer to him. De Sardet murmured a thanks, but Vasco was already fading into sleep. De Sardet was no better. He tried to stay awake, tried to focus on Vasco, to make sure he was alright, but he was so tired...

With both of them so drained, it didn't take long for them to drift into a painless sleep while Kurt sat watching over them all.


	3. Morning's Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, some fluff, smooches, comfort, and briefly naked bois while they wash and then we can really get the boulder rolling on the good whump. I hope you're enjoying it so far.

Vasco woke to terrible aches and a deep burn in his shoulder, but it was almost tolerable. He knew could manage it, he didn’t have much of a choice. The sling seemed to help in holding everything steady, still, not making any ripples of pain. He hoped it could stay like that.

Vasco saw Aphra was awake and nodded to her to ease the worried expression on her face. She passed him a water skin and he was able to sit up and carefully drink, using his uninjured arm but still going slow. He eased himself back down with only a soft hiss, then snuggled against De Sardet, absorbing what heat he could. He was still cold and not having a shirt didn’t help.

De Sardet was still in deep sleep, no doubt from exerting himself as badly as he did. He looked worn, burned out, but at peace. Vasco couldn't help but kiss his cheek and press closer against him. He needed to find a way to repay him for what he'd done for him.

"Breakfast’s almost ready, Siora went to the neighbouring village to visit and see if they had any problems. Kurt and Petrus went to move the bodies, give them to the beasts or bury them, I don't know," Aphra said softly.

Vasco nodded. "Hope I don't poison 'em," he croaked.  
"Doubtful," Aphra remarked. "Animals often know when food is good to eat but I think Petrus will want them buried anyway. How is your shoulder by the way?"  
"Manageable, still attached. I can't complain." As if to rebel, his arm twitched again, a spasm of hot pain jarring down his limb. He grunted and Aphra looked at him with concern.

"You should drink another health potion after you've eaten."  
Vasco nodded with a sigh. It didn't sound like the worst idea, he had to admit. Last night had left him shaky, to experience  _ that _ much pain… He shuddered, he very much could complain, but  he'd rather keep it to himself. His entire body had been so rigid it burned, he felt like he was going to shatter, the thought of the injury made him queasy.

He looked down at De Sardet again, lost in darker thoughts. He looked so beautiful when he was asleep. So much more at peace than last night when terror and panic had been carved into his expression. Vasco frowned, it wasn’t fair on him either…

He needed to talk to him, he’d promised he’d wake him if something happened but he didn’t. He’d just wanted to be sure first before he woke him up over a damned deer. He hadn’t expected them to be so close. He'd been watching all night, he was mad at himself for how close they'd gotten. 

He sighed and sat back up. No, no point in laying down. He managed to reach over for De Sardet's coat and put it over his back and then pulled up the top blanket to cover his front. He felt a little awkward being shirtless in front of the young woman but she didn't seem to care. 

"You should probably wake him. I'm going to start packing up some of the camp," Aphra said.  
Vasco opened his mouth to speak, to offer to help but she seemed to read his thoughts and answer him with a single gaze.  _ No. _

Vasco sighed and looked down at Benjamin again. It felt wrong to wake him when he was in such peace. 

He inched down, leaning against his good elbow and propping his head up with it.  "Benjamin?" he breathed in his ear. "Time to wake up, Tempest."  
He didn't even stir.  
"Bennyyy?" he whispered a little louder, drawing the word out in a near sing-song way before kissing his ear, drawing a groan from him. Vasco sat up a little more, laying an assault of soft kisses and whispers into his ear and jaw.

"Benjaminnn? Benjiii?" Vasco whispered. "Come on, love. It's time to wake up."  
"Five more minutes," he finally mumbled.  
Vasco rolled his eyes and smiled. “We both know your five minutes is a lot longer than five minutes,” Vasco smirked and moved down, drawing a noisy breath, about to blow raspberries on his stomach making De Sardet yelp playfully and open his eyes. "Alright, alright, mercy!"

Vasco returned to his face and let out a satisfied hum. "Ah, there's my pretty blue eyes. How are you feeling?"  
De Sardet stretched with a yawn. "Tired, but otherwise fine. What about you? Are you taking it easy?"  
"Yes. I know I'm a bad patient but have a little faith in me." Vasco smirked and kissed De Sardet's jaw, not caring for the scratch of his beard or the mark beneath it. De Sardet closed his eyes and relaxed into his touch. Vasco knew how self-conscious he was about it, so he gave it equal attention, if not a little more. He kissed his lips and De Sardet let out a little hum of satisfaction.

Until De Sardet's cape draped over both their heads, left by Kurt.  
"What the-" Vasco began.  
"Get ready- when you can take your hands off each other for more than a second, love birds. We should get going as soon as we can," Kurt called.

Vasco only smirked wider and kissed him harder, being able to kiss his lips with much more fire. Their tongues brushing against each other and entwining. Vasco paused, breathing heavily against De Sardet's mouth, barely an inch apart. De Sardet’s eyes fluttered slightly.

"Never thought I'd see a day I'd be excited to go to Hikmet," Vasco mumbled.  
"You mean, to a room with a lock?" De Sardet whispered. Vasco simply winked. 

De Sardet chuckled and sat up, knocking the cape away. He held out his hands in case Vasco needed help but he managed on his own. He got to his feet and stretched as best he could. He slipped his arm out of the sling again to test it. Though tender, it was far better than it was. As he said, he couldn't and wouldn't complain.

De Sardet stared at him in soft amazement from the ground, getting a good look at his muscles and bare skin, seeing the trails the tattoos left. Then there was his unkempt hair and the sleepy expression on his face. De Sardet looked truly enchanted, biting his lip. The way the sun illuminated his beautiful pale grey-blue eyes. Now  _ that _ was enchanting.

"Are you planning on staring at me all morning?" Vasco remarked.  
De Sardet blushed. "I would if I could."  
“Which you can’t-” Kurt called. “Get moving, Greenblood.”   


Vasco yawned despite himself. "I need to wash, can’t stand dry blood."  
De Sardet asked. "You want some water warmed up?"  
"No, it’ll be easier going to the hot spring I think."  
"I'll go with you. I don't want you being on your own, just in case. Lots of animals are sometimes there" De Sardet answered, but his voice was serious, not flirting this time.

Vasco had put on his brave and untouchable front and De Sardet knew it. Vasco knew he was worried about just how much he was hiding from him. He’d talk to him soon, when they were alone. Vasco forced a smirk like it was nothing, but he hoped De Sardet knew he acknowledged his worry. "You're welcome to. Since Kurt has forbidden me from using my sword, I’d appreciate the company."

De Sardet and Vasco struggled into their boots. Vasco managed with just one hand and he put on De Sardet’s sailor’s coat after he insisted, only putting one arm in a sleev while the other side draped over his bandaged shoulder. He felt guilty for taking his coat when he was probably cold too, but it was also nice. It smelled of him and was certainly warmer than nothing at all. He might have to make a habit out of stealing his shirts.

They armed themselves, De Sardet taking his ring, sabre, and duelling pistol. Vasco still put his sword on and took his gun, but Kurt eyed him with slight suspicion until he insisted it was for an emergency. Then after grabbing a change of clothes for Vasco, they made their way down to the springs.

Vasco did intend to undress carefully, but when he tried to loosen his pants, he soon lost his patience and took his arm out of the sling and set to work as usual.  
"Want a hand, or can you manage?" De Sardet asked genuinely.  
Vasco took off his jacket but winced. He sighed. "I can manage, thank you."

Still De Sardet came closer to him and Vasco raised an eyebrow. What was he up to? De Sardet rested his hand on Vasco's chest for a moment, just under the bandage, over his heart. Vasco carefully pulled him closer.  
"You've a nose for sniffing out trouble, haven't you?" De Sardet said, frowning and adjusting how the bandages sat. "I had no idea we were being watched yesterday."

"I find it to be a requirement as a Captain. You never know what will spring up next. Last night, we were all tired, but I felt it in my gut. That heavy feeling of dread creeping up on me. Feeling of eyes on my back. I don't settle well in the woods which probably helped me pick up on it. I was still rather useless, considering how close they got."

"You're not useless; if you hadn't given us what warning you had… Well, I'm glad you did. If not we would have been in big trouble. I’m just glad I was able to heal you," De Sardet smiled sadly, letting his hand trail down the line of a tattoo that stopped at his hips. Vasco struggled not to shudder at the ticklish feeling.   


“We got through it, Tempest, just another storm we’ve sailed. Thank you for pushing yourself so far yesterday to heal me. Really, I appreciate it. The wound was… incredibly painful, I’ll admit.”   
“If you’d been able to see it you’d know why,” De Sardet remarked. He sighed and cupped Vasco’s cheek. Vasco leaned into the touch.

“Let’s not dwell on it, but… I do want to apologise. I promised I’d wake you, but I didn’t. In my defence, I hadn’t even got to the treeline to look around, but… aye, I still wanted to at least acknowledge it. I don’t want you thinking I make false promises. I only heard a twig and you were so tired...” He pursed his lips and watched as De Sardet took in what he said and processed it.

“It would have been nice to have been woken, it might have saved you from getting hurt but I understand. They were close, it was sudden,” De Sardet reached up to kiss him. “You still woke us in time, but don’t worry about how tired I am. That’s not important when it comes to trouble like this.”

Vasco kissed him softly, pulling him even closer. Their tongues brushing together, lips hot and eager. De Sardet let out a soft moan and deepened the kiss; he wrapped his arms around his waist, letting one hand slide up and down Vasco's body. Vasco shuddered beneath him. “Oh, I cannot  _ wait _ for tonight," he breathed.

De Sardet gave him a wicked smile. “You’ll have to be on your best behaviour then. Can't have fun if you're hurt.”   
“How can I behave when you’re next to me? So perfectly tempting. You’re trouble with a capital T.”

"And did you get that feeling for trouble when you first met me?" De Sardet whispered in his ear, capturing his earlobe for a moment and nibbling, a teasing smirk playing across his lips. Vasco took him by the jaw and kissed him fiercely. Fire grew between then, but it couldn't be answered yet.   
"And you're telling me to behave?! Well, in answer to your question, I did get a feeling in my gut, but it wasn’t dread, more like butterflies. Though I did know you were a magnet for trouble. It was something in that grin of yours, the glint in your eyes."   
  
De Sardet laughed and Vasco tilted his head. “Is it not called butterflies?”   
“No, the name is right. It just… that wasn’t an answer I was expecting. Captain Vasco getting butterflies over a blue-eyed noble who didn't know his boats from his ships.” He reached up and kissed Vasco as a reassurance. 

“In truth, my gut was doing cartwheels when I first saw you standing there all stern and magnificent, so different from everything I’d known.”   
“And now?” Vasco asked, raising an eyebrow.   
“Well, the thought is tarnished slightly knowing you drool in your sleep,” De Sardet teased.   
  
“I do not!” Vasco exclaimed in mock offence. He did. He knew he did despite trying his best to stop it.   
De Sardet showed him his damp shirt, sure enough where his head had been. "I’ve seen you a dozen times. No point denying it," De Sardet chuckled. "I don't mind one bit."   
Vasco sighed, hoping he wasn't blushing again. He cleared his throat. "Well can you blame me? Drooling over something as delicious as you."

Vasco kissed his neck, nibbling softly until De Sardet shuddered. They kissed until De Sardet finally pushed him away softly. "Alright flirt, get washed so we can go and eat. We'll have plenty of time for that tonight."

Vasco reached for one last peck and then set to wrestling his pants and boots off. De Sardet took off his shirt and washed his arms, body and neck. Vasco spoke to De Sardet over little things, commenting on how nice the hot the water was, talking about life with the Nauts for what must have been the thousandth time but De Sardet took it all in, commented, asked questions. He appreciated it so much, seeing how De Sardet cared. 

Vasco managed to sit down in the shallows, he'd have laid down if he could and let the heat take away all his pains but he wanted to keep the bandages dry. He dipped his hand in the water and then rubbed a small portion of his body. He'd have a proper bath tonight. For now, he just wanted the dried blood off his arms, legs and hips. De Sardet helped him with his back, sneaking kisses on his good shoulder.

Vasco finished washing quickly and went to get his clothes. He turned to see De Sardet getting to his feet, his pale arse bare for all to see.  
"Don't be getting any ideas!" De Sardet said with a laugh.

Vasco chuckled, but they left each other to get their pants and boots on. Vasco saw in the pile of clothes that De Sardet had found a black Kaftan for him to wear until they got to a shop. He'd have to buy himself a new coat now that his was beyond repair- if De Sardet let him use his own money anyway. But honestly, he didn't mind the kaftans, they hugged the skin gently and were lightweight, comfortable. He just had to get the damned thing on.

He slipped his arm out of the sling and took off the separate loop of bandage that made up the sling. He put it down and carefully slipped his arms into the shirt, but as soon as he lifted his arms, his shoulder spiked with pain. He hissed in pain, closing his eyes tight, hoping the pain would pass.

"Let me treat this shoulder more," De Sardet suddenly said, approaching him with his eyes full of worry.  
Vasco shook his head. "It's alright. Really, it can wait. You have a long day of travelling, I don’t want to make you tired."  
"But you're hurting." De Sardet reached up and felt his forehead. His hand was cool, and it seemed to be enough to worry the Legate.

"One, I've just been in a hot spring so don't look so worried about that. Two, I’m in no danger, you don’t have to protect me from every discomfort you know?" Vasco said softly. "I'm tough, I can take it."  
"But you shouldn't have to…"  
"Please wait, Tempest. Keep what you have for an emergency."

De Sardet sighed and reached forward to hold him. Vasco was a little surprised, for a moment, suspicious, but it quickly became clear he only sought comfort. "I’m alright, thanks to you, Tempest. You did well last night and I’m grateful to you. You saved me from any more harm and probably saved my life. I'll drink a potion after breakfast, that should set me right, and if it's too much, then I'll tell you, alright?"

De Sardet sighed. "Promise?"  
"I swear."  
A kiss sealed the deal, and then De Sardet helped him into his shirt. Vasco focused on hiding his pain.

De Sardet pulled him in close again, hiding his face, and Vasco heard a sniffle.  
“Are you alright, Benjamin? I realise what you saw last night was… well…"   
Benjamin paused, seemingly surprised Vasco had been able to read him like that. “As long as you’re in my arms, I’ll be alright. Maybe try to not get yourself surrounded by seven bandits next time.” 

It seemed Vasco wasn't the only one hiding things. Last night had shaken him, scared him. Vasco closed his eyes and rocked him side to side slightly as he held him. He couldn't help but hush him gently. “I think I can work on that. I'm here, Tempest. I've got you.” Vasco pulled away from the hug to see his face, a little damp with tears, that precious small smile. Vasco kissed him softly. "I'm going nowhere, and that's a promise I fully intend to keep."

  
“Come on, you two, breakfast’s done,” Aphra called down, a hand over her eyes.

Vasco took him by the hand with a soft nod. “On our way!”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of headcanons about the Greedfall peeps and some of them will be coming into this fic, nothing too big, just little details like Vasco struggling to sleep in forests, and being clumsy because he doesn't pick up his feet enough since he's never really on uneven ground. I also have a bit of a headcanon that Vasco drools in his sleep and I love that concept too much to not include it.


	4. Deceived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a little longer to post this one because I was trying to get in character, but it wasn't going without a fight. Hopefully, it's alright, but yes, the whump is on its way. Thank you for reading this so far :)

_ Vasco _

Vasco was completely sick of walking. He could stand in one spot for hours on watch, but travelling over the island as much he did had worn out his sailing boots, and he’d had to get new ones, and it had worn those out too. They walked almost everywhere and though it had certainly kept him fit, it was hard work. He was definitely going to make De Sardet take a caravan back to New Serene.

It wasn't just the distance that was a problem. The ground was so uneven and different from what he was used to. It was honestly difficult to keep up with the others. Siora seemed to just fly across with ease. Aphra was behind her, talking to her about the different plants and animals they saw and what was on the island. They made a good pair, with Aphra eager to learn and Siora happy to talk about her home with such an eager person.

Next in the line came him, De Sardet, and Petrus, all close together, all struggling to keep up. There was no rush, but they still tried to go as fast as they could. Kurt was trailing behind them all. He always did, not only was his armour hard to carry, but he always kept to the back so he could watch the others, jump in if they needed help. He always protected the others, making sure they were safe and watched their backs. It was honourable, Vasco decided.

So they all plodded on, and Vasco did his best to hide the pain in his arm that grew every time he stumbled on a badly placed tree root or the soft ground gave beneath him. He hissed only once when he had to catch himself on the tree after stepping in a hidden rabbit hole. Luckily the tree had stopped him from falling flat on his face but he had used his bad arm to catch himself. Petrus and De Sardet exchanged concerned glances. “Are you alright, Captain?” Petrus asked while De Sardet put a steadying hand on his good shoulder. He felt a very soft chill touch his skin, a drop of healing which was just enough to ease the screaming in his arm.   
“I’m fine, thank you.”

He was grateful when they said no more about it. After a few seconds, he was able to continue walking, like nothing had happened. He didn’t want the attention. He didn't want their pitiful gazes on him. 

They walked on for a few more minutes, and then Petrus puffed “Might we… have a few moments so I can catch my breath?” The girls stopped and nodded, returning to the group. They drank their water and rubbed at their legs and ankles. Vasco was grateful for the pause, but he knew Petrus wasn’t out of breath, or at least, he was too proud to admit it. He’d only said it for his sake, but in a way that had saved him the embarrassment of admitting he was struggling. Vasco sent him a discrete look of gratitude that Petrus smiled at.   


De Sardet sat down beside Vasco and eyed his shoulder. “It’s alright; the pain’s dying down now. I just jolted it, that’s all.” Vasco moved his fingers and his arm in a circle to prove it. It throbbed like it had been possessed, but that was a kind of pain he was able to keep to himself. It was hardly tolerable, but De Sardet was always the kind to worry and he'd burned himself out enough. De Sardet inched closer and planted a kiss on the top of his shoulder, not near the wound though, which he was grateful for. 

The break was good, they ate the food from their packs, they talked and had a few laughs, and then they were off again, in lighter spirits and Vasco's arm had stopped hurting. “How do you manage to just run along and not fall, Siora?” he asked, seeing her take the lead so easily.   
“How do you not get seasick or struggle on your wooden ships for months at a time?” she countered with a smile.   
“Well, with training and practice. I grew up on ships- oh. Well, I suppose that makes sense," he remarked. This was where she belonged, just as he belonged on a ship. He stumbled on another root and swore.

"I should have put a bet on this," Kurt remarked. "Remind me on the way back, Greenblood, count how many times Vasco trips. I bet a hundred."  
Vasco smirked, not taking what he said to heart. "Need I remind you that the crew were constantly betting on  _ you _ because you fell over so many times on the ship?"  
"Not my fault the waves are so bloody unpredictable," Kurt grumbled.  
Vasco chuckled "Everyone else managed. You'll get your sea legs one day."  
"If it’s all the same to you, I'd really rather not," Kurt laughed.

The rest of their walk was peaceful at least, and he didn’t fall over anymore, mostly because they were on the main paths, which was a relief. They made it to Hikmet within a few hours. After getting changed and having a break again, they all went to the Tavern to eat a decent hot meal. Their ale might have been terrible, but Vasco enjoyed the food, the spices they used were delicious and brought life into simple foods. They all stayed for a while, talking, laughing, enjoying each other's presence. It was a nice evening.

He, Kurt, and De Sardet decided to stay a little longer into the night enjoying a few ales and a few dozen card games. De Sardet only won a single game the whole night but it had lined Kurt and Vasco's pockets, Vasco's more so especially as Kurt got drunker. Vasco didn’t plan on over drinking. He wasn’t much for drinking anymore in the first place. He didn’t like making a fool of himself in public and for some reason, it was always harder to bottle up his emotions when he was drunk. De Sardet had seen what too much could do to him, and he wanted to be able to enjoy his night alone with him later. He did say he'd behave.

Besides, wounded as he was, he didn’t want to thin his blood out any more. A small mug of ale was set to last him the few hours they sat there. Kurt had no such restraint, and De Sardet had two or three drinks. Vasco kept sending him long flirtatious glances when Kurt was at the bench or downing the rest of his ale.

Vasco squeezed De Sardet’s leg discreetly and then went to the bar, ordering a pint for De Sardet and a small for himself. Then he’d be content. He didn’t see the man sat at the bar slip a liquid into his drink, his attention focused more on the fight in the corner which the barman had just gone to throw outside.   
“Someone’s having a good night,” he remarked to the man beside him who only chuckled. He went back to his table and took a good swig.   
“That your last?” De Sardet asked.   
“Aye, just thought I’d treat myself before we go back.”   
  
De Sardet looked at Kurt who was watching the fight. Vasco guessed he was drinking for comfort, knowing that after this, he’d have to go back with them to resolve this Ghost Camp problem. He pitied Kurt, he knew what it meant to grieve, to hurt. This had to have been harder on him than he was letting on.   
“Yes, I don’t think being ill would be any good tomorrow,” De Sardet said.   


Vasco finished his drink quickly. It tasted different from the first, but he guessed it was just a barrel change. He didn't like Hikmet's ale all that much and he gave up only halfway through. He thought nothing of it until he tried to stand up and almost fell over. De Sardet rushed to catch him. “Steady on.”  
“You’ve turned into a right lightweight,” Kurt remarked.  
Vasco waved it off, “I can stomach more than two drinks thank you very much.”

“Let’s just get home. I don’t feel like getting involved in this fight," De Sardet said.  
“I second that,” Vasco said, unable to hold back a hiccup. “By the seas, I must be turning into a lightweight.”

De Sardet stayed behind Vasco as he made his way out of the tavern, only Kurt didn’t follow. “Wait here a second. Do not move,” De Sardet ordered Vasco.   
Vasco smirked. “I do like when you use that voice with me.”   
De Sardet winked, but then rolled up his sleeves and went to see where Kurt was. Sure enough, not even a minute later, Kurt burst out the doors, locked in a fight with one of the brawlers. Vasco stepped back, but he put his hand on his sword. Kurt was managing quite well on his own. De Sardet appeared after with a bleeding nose. He dragged the man away from Kurt, only for the man to start hitting De Sardet.   
  
Vasco took out his gun with his less dominant hand and aimed. “Break it up or I shoot!”

It was enough to get the man to stop. He growled and limped off while he could. Vasco helped De Sardet to his feet, glaring at the man.   
“Kurt, you were unsupervised for not even a second, what the hell was that?” De Sardet exclaimed.   
“He spoke illy of you and Vasco. I won’t repeat what he said, but I wasn’t going to let that stand.”   
Vasco raised an eyebrow. “Well, thank you, I suppose. Are you both alright?”   
  
“Today, yes, tomorrow morning… ask again,” Kurt answered, rubbing his head.   
De Sardet kept his hand up to his nose, nipping it closed by pressing the side of his thumb against it.   
“Well then, let’s go before we end up in even more trouble.”

De Sardet wrapped an arm around Vasco to guide him as he stumbled towards home, and Kurt trudged behind them.  
“Vasco, what did you  _ drink _ ? You had less than me.”   
“Two ales, well, one and a half… I think.”   
Kurt snorted, “Not even you’re that much of a lightweight. You’ve been spiked, Cap’n.”

De Sardet sighed. “Take it easy, okay? We’ll see what Aphra thinks of it.”

“Can we still enjoy tonight?” Vasco huffed, leaning his head against him for a moment as they walked. He could almost feel the ales rushing around his brain. How hard was it just to walk?! “I didn’t mean to get like this, I’m sorry-”   
“We’ll sober you up a bit, then I don’t see why not. You’re not at fault.”

De Sardet led Vasco up the stairs of his residence and left him laying on the bed. “Stay, I’ll be back, I promise.”   
Vasco reached for him, grabbing him by the coat. De Sardet sighed and cupped his cheek. He kissed his forehead. “What’s wrong?”   
Vasco looked at his nose, still bloodied though the bleeding had stopped. “I’m sorry, I love you, you know that don’t you?”   
De Sardet kissed him on the cheek. “I love you too, Vasco. I think the drink is making you worry again. I love you with all my heart. Lie down, my treasure.”   
  
Vasco did so, though De Sardet seemed surprised. “Good, now I’m going to get Aphra to make sure you’re okay, then I’m all yours.”   
Vasco pouted and kicked off his boots. “As you wish, Tempest.”

De Sardet nodded and then went downstairs. Vasco huffed a breath and waited, and waited. It had only been a few minutes, but he wanted his Tempest. His body yearned for him, he wanted to tell him how much he loved him. He was taking too long. He wanted to hold him, kiss him as he pleased, to be able to have him without worrying about others watching them. Damn it, he wanted him! So he sat up and groped the air for his boots, managing to pull them on, not even noticing how he hurt his shoulder yanking the leather up.

He made it to the door, and after shaking his head, managed to creep down the stairs. Being a Naut and constantly putting up with swaying from the sea had its uses and he made it down the stairs unscathed, but also quietly. He paused for a moment away from the door to grab his water skin and take a few greedy gulps. He was feeling tired, but he didn’t want to fall asleep and waste his night. Being a Naut also made him very good at staying awake.

“Honestly, he’s nothing more than a pain in my left arsecheek- pardon, father,” Kurt said. Vasco frowned, who were they talking about? He stayed hidden behind the wall to listen a little longer.   
“That’s… awfully specific,” Aphra mumbles, “But I see where you’re coming from. He’s incredibly tiresome, he thinks he has more authority over us than he actually has. Having to act if we care over his trivial problems, it’s exhausting.”

“I could have throttled him back at the tavern, the things he said. He was drunk out of his mind. Shame I wasn’t able to punch him instead of the other bloke,” Kurt grumbled. 

Something in Vasco’s glowing heart cracked, dulled, sank to the depths. Were they talking about him?

“Exhausting and infuriating,” De Sardet said, “But it’s not like we have a choice to endure. Still, I’ve met far worse a family than the D’Arcys.” Hearing it come from him stung. Something in his chest snapped. Vasco clenched his fists. How could he?! He said he loved him, how could he say those things about him?! Was it really all just fake? A way to please his body? No, his De Sardet wasn’t like that, he was different… wasn’t he? Was he just like all the other nobles?...

“Pity. How long will we have to put up with him?” Kurt asked.   
“Until we get to New Serene, I’ll be able to put an end to all this there. Just… remember to keep your voice down around Vasco. He doesn’t know yet and I doubt he’ll be happy about it. I’ll let him enjoy tonight first.”

Vasco’s heart shattered. It was hard to breathe. He covered his mouth and closed his eyes. Part of him wanted to barge into that room and tear their heads off. Part of him wanted to storm out and slam the door, to let them know he’d gone, that he was furious with them and hope they got the message never to cross his path again. Part of him wanted to curl on the floor and cry and disappear. The last two seemed to blend into one. 

He was only angry at himself for being so blind, disappointed in De Sardet and the others. If he’d been taken as a fool all this time, then he had his pride, and he didn’t want to make it any worse. He should have known his intrusive thoughts were right. He should have trusted it as he did his gut. De Sardet was going to love him and throw him away as soon as they got to New Serene. He didn't love him…

He felt nauseous. To think only the night before he considered them family, now his skin crawled even being near them. He looked at the door and nodded to himself. To hell with nobles and this damned island! He was going home, back to the Nauts. The Admiral could send some other idiot to babysit him. He picked up one of the travel bags from the floor and slipped out the door, managing not to stumble, and shutting it silently behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I needed Vasco away from everyone else and I think I found the most angsty way to do it. I'll get back to trying to post daily if I can.


	5. Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear we're almost at the good bit, whump is on its way, peeps, bear with me. Until then, have some ANGST.

_ De Sardet _

De Sardet winced as Petrus tended to his bloody nose. “It’s not broken, though I expect it will be tender come morning.” As soon as Petrus had seen him when he entered the room he had pounced to treat the noble’s nose. De Sardet just wanted to get Aphra and get her up to see Vasco.

“A message came for you when you were gone,” Aphra said. “He said it was important.”   
De Sardet frowned but started to read it as best he could with Petrus mending his nose. He groaned as the words sunk in.  
“I’ve been asked to escort Bastien D’Arcy to New Serene. He’s gotten more… friends on his trail.”  
“Vasco’s brother? Will he ever learn his bloody lesson!?” Kurt grumbled, his lip twitching as Siora cleaned it.

“Apparently not. We’re to collect him in the morning and take him," De Sardet sighed.   
“I want paying for it. He was in the tavern tonight, surprise surprise amongst the bloody fight."  
"You weren't fighting  _ him _ , were you?" De Sardet groaned.  
"No, but only for Vasco's sake and because he ran off seeing me headbutt that other man and down him in one go, mind you. I didn't say anything before because I didn't want to ruin Vasco's good mood. I don't think Vasco even noticed he was in there."  
De Sardet nodded. "Well, thank you for that at least."

"Honestly, he’s nothing more than a pain in my left arsecheek- pardon, father,” Kurt said, seeing the soft warning glare Petrus sent him. De Sardet tucked away his small smirk. Petrus finally moved away from De Sardet, happy with his work.  
“That’s… awfully specific,” Aphra mumbled, “But I see where you’re coming from. He’s incredibly tiresome, he thinks he has more authority over us than he actually has. Having to act if we care over his trivial problems, it’s exhausting.”

“I could have throttled him back at the tavern, the way he was going on. He was drunk out of his mind. Shame I wasn’t able to punch him instead of the other bloke,” Kurt grumbled. 

“Exhausting and infuriating,” De Sardet said, “But it’s not like we have a choice to endure. Still, I’ve met far worse a family than the D’Arcys.”   
“Pity. How long will we have to put up with him?” Kurt asked.   
“Until we get to New Serene, I’ll be able to put an end to all this there. Just… remember to keep your voice down around Vasco. He doesn’t know yet and I doubt he’ll be happy about it. I’ll let him enjoy tonight first.”

De Sardet paused, almost sure he heard movement, but when he went to the doorway, there was nothing.   
"Anyway, I have a far better D'Arcy to think about. Aphra will you come and help me with Vasco? He needs a check over. We think his drink got spiked. He seems in good health but very intoxicated. I'm going to try to sober him up a bit."

Aphra nodded and Petrus offered his help too.

De Sardet went upstairs but froze seeing the bed empty.  
"Vasco? You in the privy?"  
Nothing. Not even a sound. He frowned.   
"I don't understand…"

He looked under the bed, but he wasn't there. When he was down, he realised that neither were his boots.  
"What… If he's gone for a wander in that state I swear…" De Sardet sighed, rubbing his temples. "I don't get it. He was looking forward to spending time with me, he can't have just vanished!"

"We'll go and look for him," Aphra said.   
"It is rare that the intoxicated pay attention to logic… He can't have gotten far," Petrus added.

De Sardet rushed to check the house over, just to make certain he wasn't here. There was no sign. Kurt, Siora, and Aphra had already gone looking.   


Siora to check at the canals and any other body of water he could find, including the port, Kurt to check the taverns and brothels, and Aphra was strategically going down the streets. De Sardet didn't like the idea of them all being separated in the night, but they didn't have much choice. De Sardet left the residence with Petrus to comb the streets. They double checked the port but he definitely wasn't there. De Sardet frowned. He half hoped Vasco had been pining for the sea, that he'd be there sitting on the dock watching the waves and he often did. He hoped he hadn't fallen in the water.

"Even drunk, Vasco isn't stupid," De Sardet sighed. "He'd leave for a reason, but I can't think of anything."  
"We have spoken to dozens of Nauts. I don't think he is here," Petrus said gently.  
"I'll look in every building if I have to. I don't like this Petrus, I don't like it at all," he grimaced, pulling at his hair. Panic boiled in his chest. This couldn’t be happening!  
"Indeed, you’re not the only one to feel ill at ease. Our fortune has been limited these last few days. May the Enlightened protect him."

"Attacked by bandits, bar fights, Vasco's drugged and now he's missing. And he said I was a magnet for trouble..." De Sardet shook his head, the boiling panic quickly turning to anger as he slammed the side of his fist into the nearest wall. He felt a jarring pain in his wrist but he didn't care, even though he knew he'd hurt it badly. Petrus reached for his arm, stopping him from doing it again. De Sardet closed his eyes and tried to reign in his breathing. He had to find him!  
"The Enlightened tests us, but you must rise above it. Be calm, my child, he will materialize," Petrus said soothingly.

But the longer he looked with no results the worse he felt. It was so difficult not to overthink. He was a Naut Captain, a valuable target for ransoms, he had enemies, he was his lover. What if he'd been taken? Or was he laying hurt somewhere? What if he was dead… De Sardet felt sick.

Slowly he met up with the other three, thankfully they were all unharmed.

"Nothing… sorry, Greenblood, I looked everywhere I could think of. Hopefully he'll show up tomorrow morning. Maybe he just fell asleep somewhere?  
De Sardet wasn't convinced. There had to be a reason.  
"You think he heard us talk of his brother? That he is angered?" Siora asked.  
That was not a suggestion De Sardet's racing heart hadn't needed. His chest filled with dread.

"I… I don’t know. W.we need to find Bastien, maybe he’s with him," he breathed. He hoped it would yield answers. Maybe Vasco was angry at them all and left to cool off, that he didn't want to be found. Maybe he'd gone to confess all to his brother or threaten him for inconveniencing everyone. He didn't know. His thoughts blurred as he rushed back to the Tavern.

* * *

_Vasco_   


There were no words fit to describe his pain. He wandered towards the gates, shoving his hat further onto his head. It was a good hat, one De Sardet had bought him as a very shy first week anniversary gift. 'The best week of his life'.  
_Liar_. He snatched the hat off his head and realised he was near the merchant store. He almost fell onto the store front and shoved the hat at the woman.

"Sellin' or tradin' it for a different tricorn. Don't care how shabby it is." The Merchant studied him for a moment before taking the hat from him and placing a handful of coins in its place. Vasco snatched them up and decided to buy something to eat, a few odds and ends for his journey. He'd have bought a coat but they didn't have one which made him grumble. He spent almost all he had and then left, thanking her. He stumbled out of the city, hoping he could remember the way in the dark.

He was almost out of the outpost when Captain Reimhild saw him. He wasn’t sure if he resisted rolling his eyes.   
"Ah, Captain Vasco, are you well, my friend?"  
Vasco shook his head. “I’ve a broken heart and nothing but damn woodlands to console me, Captain, but I jus’ need to be on my way. You don’t need to be worrying 'bout some exhausting and infuriating nobody like me.”

"Captain… can I help you at all? Are you looking for your companions?"  
"Quite the opposite, Captain!” he said, louder than necessary. “De Sardet is jus' an entitled callous noble like the rest of them, he's just gotten good at hiding it! Never trust a noble or the company he keeps! If you’ll excuse me, I need to get back t' my ship. Now there’s a love that'll never let you down!"

He left before Reimhild could do anything to stop him. He was going home, he wanted the sea.

"Would you like a safe journey, sir?" one of the caravan men called to him when he’d left the outpost. Vasco waved it off. No, he couldn't afford it and needed to walk, he needed time to think and grieve for what he had lost and get over it before he got back to the Nauts.

He wanted to go back, to confront De Sardet, punch him in the jaw and walk away, but even now the thought of hurting him repulsed him. If those were De Sardet's true colours, if he saw that cruelness in his blue eyes then it would break him tonight.

It was well and truly dark when he found a good place to camp. He'd been sick a good few times. He was exhausted now, he wanted to put this hellish night to rest.   
  
He flopped down against the ground without a care, he didn't bother lighting a fire. The alcohol was keeping him warm, as was the pain in his chest… This time yesterday, life had been so good, so perfect, all because he had been so blind.

He sighed sadly and got comfortable on the dirt floor. To hell with it all, he just wanted sleep, and it didn't take it long to greet him.


	6. Snatched

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have two chapters in one day, I'm not scared. Enjoy!

_ Vasco _

Vasco woke sometime in the night to an awful feeling in his stomach. He dragged himself up to his feet and scampered behind a bush just in time to empty his stomach again. The acid stung the back of his throat and made his eyes water. His arms shook as they strained to hold him up. How had he even ended up out here? He’d been in Hikmet. He’d had his fair share drunken nights before but never enough to leave a whole city.

The answers came to him slowly and his heart sank deeper and deeper, recalling what he heard. Right… It had all been a lie. He didn’t know if his heart could hurt any more than this. He felt so lost, so alone, so utterly  _ stupid  _ he’d trusted Benj- De Sardet with so much. He sat with his back against a thin tree, spitting to the side every now and then. 

The camp was somewhat peaceful, halfway along a path, in between two tall rock faces that kept some of the weather off him. He still felt dizzy, his muscles ached something awful, but he didn’t feel quite as drunk now. His shoulder was not happy, since he’d slept on the floor and put so much weight on it. The cold wasn’t helping, seeping easily through his thin black and gold kaftan. He couldn’t wait to get back into a warm Naut coat.

He sat for a few moments, going over everything in his mind. He didn’t know why De Sardet had said those things. More than that, he didn’t know why he’d lied, why they all lied to him. Yet some of the wonderful things De Sardet had said and done… it couldn’t be false, it just couldn’t. Their love had to be too strong to be fake or De Sardet was a hell of an actor. But they’d practically said his name…

With a sigh he lit a candle from his bag and took out a piece of paper from his bag and a pencil, trying to put his feelings and thoughts as words on the paper. For some reason, writing was… easier, and it always helped him clear his thoughts, like he was draining the fog from his mind, leaving him with a clear answer. It didn’t help much this time, but it helped him to make sense of his thoughts, to make his apologies and write down the questions that needed to be written. 

He didn’t know what to make of it all. He wanted to be wrong. He wanted to have made a mistake. De Sardet was too important to him to just walk away from like this… he had to know for sure, he had to be certain or the ‘what ifs’ would haunt him for the rest of his life. It would take all of his courage to go back to him, to confront him about it, but he knew it was the right thing to do, for his own sake. He sighed and crumpled up the note, tossing it to the side.

But he wasn’t sure if he could or should walk back just yet. More sleep sounded excellent to his sore shoulder and battered head. He wanted to be completely sober for it, but he also didn’t want to keep De Sardet waiting. Maybe he was even searching for him,  _ perhaps _ even worried. He wanted to hope with all his heart that he had it all wrong.

Vasco froze, hearing footsteps, light, but they were not discreet in the dry leaves. He grabbed his sword and dragged himself to his feet. He frowned, seeing several coin guards approach him. Their hands were on their weapons, watching him intently.

“De Sardet send you by any chance?” he guessed.   
But their only answer was to draw their blades, aiming them at him. "I'll take that as a no." Vasco paused, seeing the emblem on their chests. “The ghost camp...”  _ Oh by the goddamn seas! _   
  
“Surrender your blade,” one ordered.   
He didn’t like the sound of that. Why were they here?   
“No,” he growled.  
The men didn’t hesitate to advance. He rushed towards one side of the path, to the end of the line of men. This was a fight he did not want. If he could run from it, then all the better.

He parried a sword swing, biting back a cry of pain, as he narrowly avoided one of the guards and didn’t look back. He’d left his bag, his gun, but right now he was going to have to just make do with his life and his sword.

He ran as fast as he could in his half-drunken, sore and worn state, hoping he could get enough ground between them, that he could find a place to hide, find some help, do something to get out of this mess he’d ended up in. Those soldiers were trained to obey no matter what, and they were some of the best. He couldn’t afford to get in a fight with them, not in this state. Kurt would be furious to find out that the regiment was still somehow continuing- he had to warn them.   
  
Vasco skidded to a sudden halt and had to rush to the side and avoid the two massive dantrigs which were waking, strange creatures that almost had a shark’s head and stomped with enough force to impress a whale. Whereas he managed to avoid it, the guards had no choice but to engage in a fight with them, giving Vasco time to run, and throw himself behind a bush and wedged himself beside a huge rotten log, grabbing handfuls of leaves and covering himself with a few. 

This land was too open to just run across, and he wasn’t sure he’d make it to the outpost. He hoped this would be a good enough place to hide, to at least get them off his trail. He hoped they didn’t know how to track…

  
Vasco waited, catching his breath, letting his heart calm in his chest. This was  _ not _ what he needed right now. By the deepest sea, why were they after him?! They were nowhere near New Serene. Had he interrupted a training exercise,  _ become _ a training exercise?   


The land fell silent. So long passed he didn’t even know if he’d fallen asleep or not, but when he heard footsteps close by he startled. He stared up through the undergrowth, seeing a guard looking around, even moving the bush he was hiding in a little, but not finding him. Now he was somewhat grateful for that thin black jacket.

He didn’t know what to do? Stay hidden, or get moving while it was still dark. Come day, they’d probably find him easily, or maybe they’d give up. Was that a chance he wanted to take? He surely wasn’t far from Hikmet, he could get back there…

He waited until the guard was out of earshot and carefully crept to his feet, keeping to the trees and thick bushes. He sort of knew where he was. Down the hill and there would be a path that led straight to Hikmet… But the land around the path was rocky, there were no places to hide...

He followed it carefully, but he quickly found that the path was filled with soldiers, too many for him to want to fight on his own anyway, he counted six. He tucked himself away in a bush again, hoping it would be enough for now. He had to think of a plan and think of it fast. He wished De Sardet was here, liar or not, at least he’d know what to do. What would he do? Slap him for leaving probably, but after that? Well, Benjamin was a chancer with awfully good luck. He just felt like a Naut out of water unable to come up with a strategy. The skies were almost grey with the dawn, it was only a matter of time before he was found.

Blast it all, he was going to have to try. He retreated and hoped walking above them, on the grassy top of the rock face would be enough, caefully inching his way along, hoping no one saw him. He felt uneasy and moved further back, into the treeline. The men would be tired, perhaps if he was lucky he could get away with this after all, get past the blockade and run as fast as he could and hope they weren’t in the mind to shoot him. If he could even get in earshot of the outpost...

Men were close, and he couldn’t help but stare at them as he crept along. He spent too long looking at them. He didn’t see the string on the floor in front of him, not until he kicked it with his foot and a bell rang out. Worse, kicking it had triggered a trap that fell straight down onto him, a net.

  
Shit!   
  


Vasco was quick, he wouldn’t let the net panic him. He crawled toward the end and heaved the weights over his head, dragging himself out despite the flaring pain in his shoulder. Still, it had slowed him down, and the men were almost on him. All he could do was run, to run and not look back. There were shouts as more and more men began to follow after him. There was no way this was going to end well, but he had to try. Dammit, he had to try! They drove him from the main path and he had to hurry up and over a steep hill, almost back towards his camp. He needed to circle around!

He heard a whooshing sound, and the next thing he knew, he was on the floor. He smashed his chin off what had to be the only fucking rock amongst the mossy floor and it almost knocked him out there and then. He rolled down the hill, unable to stop himself until he rolled into a young tree that stole all the wind out of his lungs with a painful crash.

He groaned and tried to kick the ropes off his legs. He tried to reach for the bola, but the men were closing in. He drew his sword, ready to fight to the bitter end. It was knocked from his hand when one of the men swung a mace at it. The handguard protected his fingers, but the force rattled his wrist and yanked the blade from his already burning arm. He cried out in pain.

He couldn’t stop them picking him up like he was nothing but fallen fruit. With one man on either arm, he couldn’t stop them. He tried to yank his arms free, but nothing happened. His shoulder screamed at him, but he couldn’t do anything to remedy it. They forced him onto his knees. He snarled as a familiar face approached him.   
  
“Rolf? How?!” he spat.   
Rolf fearlessly grabbed Vasco by the jaw now he was restrained, his fingers dug into his cheeks enough to make him wince. He forced Vasco to keep his head up, looking at him. “Friends in high places, Captain. Tell me, where’s that pretty little boyfriend of yours?”   
Vasco spat on the floor, aiming for his boot. That was the only response he was going to give this monster.

In response, he was kicked in the torso, it sent all the wind out of him again, enough to make him cough and gasp wildly. The men holding him meant he was forced to endure. Vasco suppressed a shudder.   
“Now what then? You kill me?” he snarled.   
“Heavens no.” He grabbed him by the face again, squeezing his nails into the flesh until Vasco groaned. “No, dear captain, where’s the fun in that?”


	7. A Trail Materialises

Finding Bastien didn’t take long, not when he heard him calling for help since a group of bandits had decided to pounce on the drunken fool. He was such an easy target, but De Sardet needed answers before he started tearing down walls in a bid to find Vasco. He had to find his Captain, at the very least he had to know he was safe…

“Back off!” he snarled at the bandits, their one and only chance to turn tail and run. That was an opportunity they didn’t accept. As soon as they reached for their swords, the moment  _ one _ more thing got in the way of him and his love, something snapped. He roared, drawing his sabre and unleashed a hurricane of an attack onto the men, he didn’t care what he did, who he hurt. He knocked them down like wheat to a sickle. He roared in fury. None of his companions could even get close to help. 

One bandit tried to jump on top of him, and although De Sardet couldn’t use his sword, he rained down on him with a flurry of devastating punches, so powerful but blind, he didn’t even realise how red and bloodied his knuckles had become. He literally threw the man away from him, and the others realised that this was a fight they did not want or would win. De Sardet brought magic to his hands; he almost wanted to chase after them, but Kurt grabbed him. “Easy, Greenblood, easy. Fight’s over, you’ve done enough, remember why we’re here.”

Just like that, his angry energy seemed to disappear. He groaned and looked down at his knuckles. “Right… I. I...”   
“Red curtain came down, I’ve been there, I know... Focus on your breathing for now, alright?”   
All he wanted to do right now was cry, to curl up and hide and scream like a babe for Vasco to appear. But he couldn’t give in to that feeling. He looked up numbly, seeing Bastien curled up amongst some crates, shielding that hollow head of his.

De Sardet cleared his throat. Bastien opened his eye a peak and then relaxed a bit. It was clear he was drunk out of his mind and he wasn’t expecting to get much out of him.  
“You save the day again, your excellency,” he slurred.   
De Sardet forced back his anger. “Seems I came in the nick of time yet again. Tell me, have you by any chance seen Captain Vasco? You remember him?”   
  
“Haven't seen him, but then what does that matter? Say, you’re escorting me tomorrow, aren’t you to New Serene? It will be nice to be able to talk to someone more...” he hiccuped. “Civilised. Nothing but Nauts, ruffians and thieves here.”   
De Sardet bit back the pang of annoyance that rose inside him. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to escort you, I believe harm may have come to the captain and I have to find him. I was hoping you had seen or heard something.”  
“But harm could befall  _ me _ !” Bastien declared as if what De Sardet said was beyond ridiculous. He needed to watch his tongue or he was going to end up pummelled too. Granted, he didn’t know Vasco was his brother, but he knew the man, he didn’t even care!   
  
De Sardet clenched his jaw. “I’m sure Kurt could locate some trustworthy guards for you. But I must get going if you have not seen him. It’s a matter of urgency.”   
“Perhaps, Mr D’Arcy, if you did pursue such questionable indulgences, then there would be no need to protect you from those who threaten you so frequently,” Petrus said in his usual deep growling voice. De Sardet hadn’t known a man have as deep a voice like that before, but he was grateful. Something about Petrus’ calm demeanour affected him also, calmed him in turn. He tried to relax his jaw, unclench fists he hadn’t realised he’d been squeezing.   
  
“I can do what I like with my money! But  _ I _ asked for you, what does a Naut matter-”   
Oh, that did it. The curtain, as Kurt put it, dropped back down. Petrus grabbed his arm quickly. “Come, my child, the answers we seek are not here. Control your emotions, we must continue the search.”   
Bastien was lucky Petrus had thought fast. Still, he snarled. “That  _ Naut _ happens to be my lover and one of the bravest, kindest, and honourable men I know. And you’re his-you’re in his debt! Good day to you, Mr D’Arcy. I hope you return to New Serene in fine health.”   
  
Because if he opened his mouth one more time, he really wouldn’t be.

De Sardet left quickly, with Petrus giving him gentle praise for making the right decision. He sighed and dropped down on a crate. He looked at his knuckles glumly but didn't bother healing them. Vasco would have been all over him now, cleaning them, kissing his palm, caring for him. I nstead, he was nowhere to be found. Vanished without a trace. He had to be  _ somewhere. _   
  
“I’m sorry… for what you saw from me. It was not very noble,” De Sardet mumbled.   
“You’re not at fault. The right people got hurt, and you didn’t beat Bastien to a pulp, so I’d say you did well,” Kurt said.   
“We’re all worried, De Sardet, we understand,” Aphra chipped in.   


“Where would Vasco want to go?” he mumbled, more to himself.   
“Obvious answer is the sea?” Kurt guessed. “But he wasn’t at the port.”   
De Sardet paused. An idea swirled in his mind. “No… there’s nothing for him at  _ that _ port...”  
It was strange when the four of them looked at each other and said “His ship.”  
De Sardet nodded. "All I can think of is he's gone back to the Sea-Horse. She was docked in New Serene."

He was glad he wasn’t the only one thinking that way. “We… we should maybe look outside of the city now, perhaps he left for New Serene? At least if we go to the outpost, we’ll know if he left or not.”

They nodded in agreement, but they hurried back to the residence first, getting their bags and necessary equipment. De Sardet hoped this was the right decision, that Vasco didn’t come back as they left. Just in case, he found himself scrawling a note.   
  
_ We couldn’t find you and have gone to New Serene, hoping you’ll be there. Please look for us, and I am sorry if I have offended you. I love you more than anything, and I want to put this right. _ _   
_ _ \- With all my love, your Tempest. _

  
He blew on it until it dried and folded it, before shoving it in an envelope and writing Vasco’s name on it.   


He heard Aphra yawn, Petrus groan as he stretched, but they were adamant they were going to come with him. He hoped they’d all be able to rest soon. He’d burned through his alcohol, his stress, his anger, and his worry. He felt like an empty husk, and the only thing that would make it right was holding Vasco in his arms again.

They took their leave, and as they neared the gate, he heard the usual merchant call out. He needed a few supplies, and so he went to get what he needed. He hadn’t had the time to refill his bags, so he was going to have to do it now.

“Ah, Lord De Sardet,” she smiled warmly. “It is good to see you again good sir, I wonder if you have lost something?”   
De Sardet paused. “Vasco? Did you see Captain Vasco?”   
“Why yes, he dropped by perhaps a few hours ago. He looked like such a sad-eyed bairn. Sold his hat, filled his bag and left with his tail between his legs. Such a pitiful sight.”   
  
De Sardet furrowed his brow, trying to ignore the weight in his chest. “Do you have any idea what caused his mood? Did he say anything to you?”   
“No, your excellency. He just wanted to sell the hat and but supplies. I felt it best to leave him be.”   
  
“Do you know where he went?”   
“Out the gates, your excellency, but I don’t know where after that,” she answered him.  
De Sardet felt a glimmer of hope in his chest. “Captain Reimhild might have seen him if she was on the outpost.”   
“Then let’s go,” Aphra said.

De Sardet caught and hid his sorrow well. That was Vasco’s line. He was somewhat less worried now. He’d been seen alive after he left the house, which was so much more than he had before. He paused and turned back to the merchant. “Could I buy his hat back please?” She smiled at him and held out her hand, and De Sardet paid well. He didn’t care about that. He took it tightly in his hand and absent-mindedly held it close to his chest. He took a deep breath, taking in the vague nudge of Vasco’s smell on it. He really needed his captain back.

De Sardet was up the hill well before Petrus, he felt bad for it, but his worry was too strong. He could rest soon maybe, he was tired, but he wanted to try to find Vasco first. He hated knowing he was so upset. If this was his doing, he wanted to put it right.

“Ah, your excellency, I had a feeling you would appear.” She looked at the hat in his hand. “Would you be looking for Captain Vasco by any chance?”   
“Yes, did he come this way?” he asked hopefully.   
“Yes, your excellency and his state worried me. Drunk off his feet and utterly inconsolable. I did try to persuade him to go back to the city, but he would not hear of it. He was incredibly upset, broken-hearted, I believe.” The question hung in the air but she did not speak it:  _ What did you do to break his heart like that? _

“We don’t know what’s gotten into him, did he say anything to you?”   
“Well, I have a good memory for the words people say. He explicitly said his heart was broken, and he had only woodlands to comfort him. He made that sound like such an awful thing… Then, when I offered him assistance, he spoke illy of himself, calling himself exhausting, irritating.”   
  
De Sardet paused, if he had any colour left in his face before now it drained away. Now he understood, he thought to himself. The others also seemed to understand.   
“Begging your pardon, but he spoke illy of you too, your excellency, his words were along the lines of saying you were like all the other nobles. He sounded keen to avoid you in truth. You should be careful if you speak to him. He’s armed and drunken and full of emotion. It’s rarely a good mix. He also said he was going back to his ship, though I don’t know where that entails.”

“I fear he has misheard us… Thank you so much, Captain, you’ve been a great help. Thank you!” he said, faking a smile. He wanted to  _ sprint _ away, to go as fast as he could, to scream out Vasco’s name, to wrap his arms around him and promise him he loved him with all his heart. As he reflected on what they had said about Bastien, he realised how Vasco could have misinterpreted it all. He was drunk and already worried about being a burden. He’d been so sure he was upstairs. He’d never meant to hurt him. He had to put this right. He could not lose Vasco to drunken eavesdropping. Vasco meant too much to him. He pulled the hat close to his chest.   
“I can’t lose him,” he whispered.

He left the outpost, his companions following behind. He saw a caravan owner, one of the men with a cart who’d ferry a man wherever he pleased. That meant Vasco was on foot, hopefully close.  
“You there,” he tossed the man a coin. “Did you see a Naut pass this way, dressed in a black Kaftan?”   
“I did, sir! He went up that path, but I’m afraid I don’t know where after that.”

“There’s a campsite up there… thank you, sir.” De Sardet tossed him another coin and made his way up the path, calling out for Vasco now, hoping he was close. Maybe he’d fallen asleep because of the bad ale he’d drank. He really didn’t know. He just had to be close. He made it to the camp to find an unlit fire, but there were signs of Vasco having been here. There was his pistol, and his travelling bag, but no Captain. Petrus sat down for a moment, winded from the rush.

“Sorry,” De Sardet mumbled. “Stay here, see if he comes back. I’ll have a wander myself, see what I can find.”   
Siora offered to join him, she seemed able to last with a night without sleep and was still sober.

He hadn’t gone far when he saw two dead dantrigs, fresh kills, still warm, perhaps hours old. “Vasco?!” he called, still nothing. “I hope these brutes haven’t hurt him… Vasco, where  _ are  _ you?”

“Benjamin… perhaps you should rest. You sway…”

De Sardet shook his head, but he felt himself wobble to the side. Siora gave him a steadying arm.   
He hugged the hat again. “But I need to find him.”   
“And he would want you to take care of yourself. I’m sure he will return to the camp if we just wait a while. Please. I will spend some time looking for him and calling for him. Don't make me have to call for Kurt."   
De Sardet sighed and looked up at the dark sky. They weren't going to give him a choice in this. “Alright, just until sunrise so I can see… Thank you, Siora.”

De Sardet just hoped that was the right decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one with a very upset and angry De Sardet. He just wants his bean. Thank you for reading, this is getting more attention than I was expecting so I do appreciate that. Have a good day!


	8. Walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, whumpin time! Hope you've been enjoying this so far.

_ Vasco _

Vasco did everything he could to get away from those damned guards. He kicked, snapped with his teeth and tried to headbutt anyone within range. 

"Let go of me, you cowards!"

He felt hairs come free from his hair tie and cover his sweating forehead. He tried to yell out for help, but before he could even register what was happening a strip of cloth looped over his head and yanked into his mouth, nipping the corners of his cheeks. He shook his head, trying to push it out with his tongue. No good. Soon it was tied and he bit down on it, barely feeling the stray strands tugging at his scalp from the knot with his rush of adrenaline.

He tried to kick out again, but they seemed to be waiting for that. They worked as a team and suddenly shoved him down to the ground, pinning him down with bony knees digging into his back. His hands were outstretched in front of him despite how they ached with all his fighting. A knee on his shoulder was enough to make him cry out from behind the gag. He watched helplessly as the guards tied his wrists together, ensuring the knot was well out of reach of his nimble, calloused fingers. He tried to snarl against the gag, glaring up at Rolf despite the position he was in. He was going to pay for this-

Rolf simply nodded, and suddenly Vasco's vision was snatched away from him, a thick strip of cloth saw to that, once again tugging at strands of hair. It seemed to cover most of his face, high over his forehead and down to his nose. He couldn't see a damned thing.

He tensed despite himself, straining to listen. They had him, and as much as that thought made his gut churn, it was something he had to accept, adapt to. He had to survive this if he could.

He was dragged to his feet, which made him dizzy because of his shoulder, the pain that ebbed across his back. He bit back a groan, the gag was already becoming uncomfortably soaked and cold. He forced back a shudder. He hated this, he hated being so weak, vulnerable, powerless. What was more, no one knew where he was, no one would know what happened to him. He tried to raise his head, to stiffen his emotions and become Captain Vasco. He could not show fear. He refused. De Sardet would find out about this if he had to go chasing after Rolf. He'd find him, and whether he loved him or not, he was confident De Sardet would save him.

His Benjamin, his beautiful tempest… he wished he'd never left the bed, never heard anything and was still in his perfect fantasy as a fool. Instead, now he was a prisoner to a torturous brute and no one knew a thing. 

“Sir, up there!” someone suddenly exclaimed.   
“Kill them,” Rolf hissed.   
Vasco braced, but the words weren’t directed at him. He heard men run off. Had someone seen? Was there a chance for help? There were natives nearby, wasn't there? Mordún's clan? He hoped. It didn't sit well with him to die with no one knowing what became of him.

"Make sure the lead is strong," someone grunted. Vasco's head snapped a little too quickly to the source of the noise. A  _ lead _ ? He'd have curled up his lip in disgust if the gag allowed him. He wasn't some damned dog! He felt someone tugging at his wrists and though he tried to pull them back, he wasn't able to stop them. It felt like a rope was tied around his hands, and soon he felt himself being tugged along, having no choice but to step forward, his steps uncertain. He had no idea if he was about to trip over something. He shuddered before he could stop himself.

"Get comfortable, Captain, we have a long walk."

Vasco let his head drop down to a natural position for now, hoping he didn't fall while they marched him along. It had been bad enough walking with the others when he could see what was in front of him, nevermind this. At least the blindfold meant he was in his own little bubble, that he could imagine the sea or the ground beneath him rather than the heavy weight of the men's cold stares and smirks.

He really was fucking idiot for thinking he could go off on his own and not end up in some sort of situation.

Walking only got harder and harder once they left the main path. He stumbled so much, he fell half a dozen times and hissed as the men would heave him up. He wanted to die hearing Rolf's chuckle, the fact he was laughing at him. His face burned with shame. They forced him on, even when he was past the point of exhaustion. He got used to the sudden yanks on his arms, the way the men grabbed him and lifted him over obstacles and guided him around if he got a piss break. It all made him feel hollow with unease, it was painful to him as nails on a chalkboard. He truly hated this. He was a proud Naut captain and this was destroying him. Where were they even taking him? Did he want to know?

He didn't know how long he walked until they came to a stop. It had to have been  _ hours _ \- all day even. He fell to his knees, groaning, and he didn't bother trying to look tougher. It wasn't worth the energy. He startled when someone kicked him hard in his chest, shoving him into his back. He landed on his shoulder. He did his best to hide the pain.

"Set up camp. Tie him to a tree."

First another piss break, giving him a few seconds to be able to look around. He was still in the woods, with no idea exactly where he was. He behaved for now, knowing eyes were burning into his back, and then he was being marched back to the camp, still gagged and the blindfold returned despite his protests. They untied his hands, and despite a brief tussle, they were soon secured behind his back. He let his head fall back against the trunk. He was beyond tired, his limbs felt like lead, no, ice, so cold and spent that they burned. 

"Open."

Vasco frowned as the gag was tugged out his mouth and a cup was shoved to his mouth. He took a cautious sip, but the taste was agreeable. Water. Sweet sweet water! He gulped it down with no more hesitation. His hangover begged for it and his body craved it after walking for long. He was given a second cup, but after that to Vasco dared to say "Why are you doing this? You don't have to serve this man, Legate De Sardet put an end to this. This isn't how coin guards are meant to be-"

The next thing he knew there was a metal boot of armour slamming into his gut, so hard his world spun and he was sure he felt a crack appear in his rib. Some primal grunt managed to escape his lungs, he groaned and tried to lean over. Then came another kick, then another, and next came a flurry of punches to the head. He tried to keep quiet. He wasn't going to cry mercy. He'd had many a beating in his life and he wasn't backing down to this serpent. 

Still, the spiking pain in his rib had him very worried and wishing he had the gag to bite onto. That wish was soon granted.  
"You don't get to speak, filth. How dare a  _ Naut  _ address my men like that!"  
Vasco felt a hand on his hair and he tried to brace for the agonizing yank that followed, forcing him up to his feet which scraped his arms and hands up the trunk, bringing a new wave of hot stinging to his body. He tried to lean forward to shield his ribs but Rolf seemed to understand what he was doing. 

Vasco shuddered when he yanked up his shirt to inspect it. After a moment he jabbed a finger into it, the suddenness made Vasco yelp but he physically couldn't move away from the pain. Rolf pushed in harder, no doubt taking pleasure in how he writhed in pain. He tried to gasp, to pant but the gag made it so much harder, he couldn't hold back a groan. "Speak out of turn again, and you'll have far worse than a cracked rib. You’re lucky we’re not at our destination yet and I need you to be able to walk."

Rolf let go of him, and another punch sent him back down to the floor, hissing at how it jolted his rib. He tried to curl up, keeping his knees close to his chest. Vasco didn't want to just surrender to this man, he wanted to fight and struggle and not go down without a fight, but he was also sensible. He had to buy himself time, getting punishment after punishment would mean he wouldn't be able to run or fight when he needed to. He waited with bated breath, but it sounded like he’d been left alone now. He slowly relaxed his body, trying to ignore the taste of blood in his mouth that soaked into his gag.

He tried to lose himself in thoughts, to distract himself from his hellish situation, but all he did was draw his attention to how awful he felt because of De Sardet. Tied and alone, he couldn’t help but sit and reflect. He hoped De Sardet was looking for him, he hoped that they were talking about a different D'Arcy, maybe they were. Bastien was hardly a good man either, but then why would he have suddenly cropped up in a conversation?

He groaned and tried to give up on his trail of thought. He'd been tied to the mast before in a pirate attack, but that was more comfortable than this tree. It had knots and sharper bits that were digging into his back, but he managed to convince his body to drift off to sleep, knowing he'd need it for the hell that awaited him in the morning.


	9. Tracks and Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One Word: ANGST

_ De Sardet _

De Sardet woke with a soft start, he didn’t know what woke him, but the last thing he remembered seeing in his dreams was Vasco’s face, his golden eyes, his comfort. That morning felt so cold and alone without him by his side. The events of the night before all came rushing back at him and looked around frantically to see if he was there. Nothing. He realised he still had Vasco’s hat in his hand and shuddered. So it really wasn’t all some sick dream. He’d overslept, he’d swore he was only going to have an hour or two to try and clear his mind a little.   
  
“How are you feeling?” Aphra said softly beside him.   
He looked up and sighed. “Not so… rushed, but I need to find him. I’m guessing he hasn’t made an appearance?”   
“No, which is… odd, but it’s light now, we should go and see if there’s any indication as to where he is. Perhaps even the natives know.”

De Sardet dragged himself up to his feet, didn’t bother to argue as Siora pressed a cup of stew into his hands. He thanked her quietly and went back to where the dead dantrigs were. His body ached, he hadn’t even taken his boots off last night. He’d just dropped down, curled up with Vasco’s hat and drifted off so time passed faster, to get away from that terrible night.

The dantrigs were cold and were already being returned to nature. He studied it for a moment, his leaden stomach not affected by the sight. “Broadsword wounds, here, a mace perhaps? Not Vasco then… Siora, have you seen any tracks?”   
“I did find footprints, yes, but I couldn’t follow without the light.”   
De Sardet looked down beneath him, seeing deep imprints with a large flick behind them. Siora studied the same patch of ground for a moment, her finger brushing against an imprint in the soft earth. “Someone was running here, but this area is full of movement from the fight.”   
“Vasco’s boots have a small heel to them, they should be lighter. They’re the only ones we need to find.”

They searched the surrounding area until Siora caught sight of them.   
  
“Here, I think I have found him,” she smiled to herself, lost in another thought. “No wonder he would trip so often in those shoes.”

De Sardet’s heart purred at the better memory, hearing Vasco cussing and grumbling because he didn’t pick up his feet enough, so used to walking on wooden boards.   
“So let’s suppose they are his… where do they go?” De Sardet mumbled, more to himself.   
They followed the tracks to a massive log, a tree that must have once been hundreds of years old. Siora frowned, seeing the snapped twigs and flattened grass. “He sat here for a while, very still. His feet don't move."   
  
Siora and De Sardet exchanged a nervous glance. “Hiding,” De Sardet mumbled.   
“But from what? The dantrigs are dead-”   
“By a different blade, at least two different weapons, which means there were others,” De Sardet said, chewing at his lip. This didn’t bode well.   
  
De Sardet took a deep breath. He didn’t like this. “Alright… let’s see where he went afterwards.”   
Together, they followed the tracks with some difficulty. They were light steps, and De Sardet lost them several times until he got back on their track, Siora frowned seeing the tracks. She walked in his steps for a few moments, and realised the only way to perfectly match the dragging of the feet, the lack of heel on the ground was to crouch. De Sardet tried to keep quiet, her actions spoke clearer than any words he could say. He was hiding. They followed the tracks, seeing them lead towards the treeline.

He was hiding from someone, that much was clear. He needed to see where these tracks led to. “Oh, Vasco, what trouble did you get yourself into this time,” he groaned.   


“Benjamin… look,” Siora called to him. He paused, seeing a net on the floor, a bell.

“Trap… look,” he pointed to the treeline. “There’s a few.”   
“I would like to take them down,” Siora said. “Before we go, it is not fair to the animals.”   
“I understand. Are they not native?”   
“No, I do not think so. Made by a Regnaise, but perhaps bought by the Village of Vighulgsob?”

“Any other signs, was Vasco trapped beneath it- if these are his tracks?”   
“Yes, but he crawled out from it- look, in the softer mud, you can see his footsteps, where he ran.”   
De Sardet paused. Yes, he could, but more than that, he saw other footprints, other men. “He  _ was _ being chased. Vasco what  _ did _ you get yourself into!?”

They continued to follow the running tracks, up the hill back towards grassland, where the tracks suddenly stopped, but it was clear where he had fallen and rolled down the hill, stopped by a tree. Halfway down, De Sardet picked up Vasco’s poison-filled pouch. “It was definitely him…”

There at the bottom of the little hill, De Sardet found a rope tool, a bola, he remembered, brought from the continent. They were useful for tangling up the legs of fast animals, and men it seemed.  
“Benjamin,” Siora said softly, picking up Vasco’s sword from the undergrowth, seeing the massive dent in the hand guard.

Panic grabbed De Sardet by the throat and he rushed to look for blood in the grass. Was he hurt?! He found a few light drops, but that was all.   
“Siora… he… he’s been taken.”   
She nodded slowly. “Yes, I think so, and not by my brethren.”   
  
De Sardet’s leaden stomach disappeared and he had to cover his mouth and sat down for a moment, curled up. He tensed, bringing his shoulders up to his head and lowering his head, trying to force his emotion back down, his terror, his fury. No. No, no, no, no, no! He couldn't lose him like this! He had to find him!   
“I am sorry,  _ on ol menowí _ , but at least we know he is alive, he is not badly wounded. We can still find him.”

“We… we should go and tell the others,” De Sardet mumbled. “The sooner we get him back, the better.”

Only when they returned, Kurt, Petrus, and Aphra had a solemn look of their own.   
“Did… something else happen?” De Sardet asked.   
Petrus stood up with a crumpled note in his hand, smoothed out as best he could.   
“It is addressed to you I believe. I have not read the contents,” Petrus said to him.

De Sardet sat down to read it as Siora explained the situation to the others, he heard Aphra gasp, Kurt swear, and Petrus mumble a prayer. Tears welled in De Sardet’s eyes before he even began reading.

_ My Tempest, _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Or at least, I hope I can still call you that. As you may have guessed, I overheard your conversation with the others. I really had no idea that you all thought about me in this way, I thought what we had was special. You made everything feel so perfect. I made the conclusion you would be getting rid of me once we reached New Serene, so I decided to leave and keep some of my pride, save you the trouble. _

_ You’re a cruel man to be willing to bed the man you intend to leave the next day. If I was so much of a problem to you all, then why didn’t you just tell me?! I could have changed, I would have changed for you. You made it all feel so right, I did not see any signs that you were unhappy, and for that I am sorry. I was too wrapped up in my adoration for you to realise you did not feel the same, that you were acting. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps my drinking meant I misread the situation, but all the same, I don’t see how that would be possible when you brought up my family name. I hope with all my heart I am wrong, and despite this development, I cannot help but love you. I am sorry for any wrong I have done against you. _

_ My heart is shattered and my trust is torn into the smallest fibres, and I don’t know if I will ever recover from the wounds you have all caused me. It’s for the best that I don’t see you again. Perhaps it is my own fault. I never was good at all this romance. I knew I was a burden to you, and I should have listened to my head more than my heart. Still, despite the pain, the time I spent with you… I do not regret it, but now I see you are the same as any other nobles and for that I pity you. I hope you find happiness as I hope I find mine if this really is goodby- _

De Sardet guessed that was when Vasco had given up and crumpled it up. He barely noticed Kurt’s strong arm around him, he didn’t even realise he was crying until the tears bounced off the page. He quickly folded the paper and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. He pocketed the note. “He… he thought we were talking about him. He… I… he fears it was all a lie- that I was just leading him on. I’ve made a mess of everything!   


Kurt held him a little tighter, not sure of what words to say.

“We can fix this,” Aphra vowed.   
“How can we?” De Sardet cried. “He’s been taken, and I don’t know why or who by! If I lose him like this… I can’t lose him knowing he thinks all this of me, that I don’t love him and it was all a lie. He doesn’t even want to see me again.”

“We’ll find him, Greenblood. Vasco is a fighter, he’s strong, and he’ll be able to take care of himself until we find him and then you will have your chance to explain. Do you have any idea where we can start looking?”   
“We can check with Mordún, even if you think regnaise are responsible, we should check. Perhaps someone saw something during a night hunt,” Aphra suggested.

De Sardet looked up with heavy red eyes, filled with anguish. “Yes… t.that sounds like a good idea. If not hopefully we can follow the tracks. I just… I need a minute.”   
“Go and calm yourself,” Petrus said softly. “We will pack up the camp and we can leave as soon as you’re ready.”

De Sardet got to his feet and walked away, scrubbing at his eyes. He  _ had _ to find Vasco, he had to save him and make all of this right. He could never say a single bad thing about his captain. Vasco had become so important to him in such a small amount of time. He would do anything for that man.

After finding out he was meant to be a Naut only a few days ago, he'd been more than willing to give up everything to be with Vasco, to sail with him. He’d been meaning to tell Constatin what he had learned, but business had pulled him away. He’d been meaning to tell him when he got to New Serene. He was going to give up being a Legate, solving everyone’s problems except his own and really live. That plan was in tatters, just as much as Vasco’s trust. He hated himself in that moment, he despised himself. How could he have been so stupid, even if he’d had no intention of upsetting him like that? Why had it taken him so long to realise what was wrong? Was Vasco's trust in him really so easy to shatter? All this time had Vasco been walking on eggshells? 

Stupid and to blame. That’s all he was. No matter what anyone tried to tell him, he couldn’t help but feel responsible. If he couldn’t put this right, if Vasco was hurt, if he was too late, if he couldn’t save him, it would break him. He'd never forgive himself. All he wanted right now was Vasco’s arms around him, to take in his smell and drown in those beautiful eyes and feel Vasco’s rough calloused hands against his cheek.

Desperate determination welled inside of him and he scrubbed away the upset from his face, drawing in deep breaths to calm himself. The trail was hot, he could find him, he could put this right. He returned to the camp to find most things packed away. He picked up Vasco’s sword and put it on so it rested against his other hip. He couldn’t bear to put his hat on, so he carefully put it in his bag, and he kept the note in his chest pocket. He ran his thumb along the hilt of Vasco’s sword. He was going to find him. He had to.

He took a deep breath. “First we see if Mordún knows anything, then if that doesn’t work, we can try to follow the tracks. Would you be able to help me with that, Siora?”   
“Yes, but if it rains I fear I will lose some of the tracks. The older they are, the harder it is to follow.”

De Sardet nodded in understanding. “I know. Then let’s be quick. We’ll try and cover as much ground today as we can, hopefully, they won’t be far.”   
The group nodded in agreement. Vasco mattered to all of them and they were determined to get their Captain back.


	10. Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Vasco whump time. I just want to say thank you for reading this. I hope you're enjoying it.

_ Vasco _

Vasco woke with a start when something kicked his leg. He jolted, tried to move, but quickly found himself still tied to the tree, still felt the pain in his ribs, the pain in his shoulder. Sleeping against a tree wasn’t comfortable, but he’d needed rest so desperately that night. He was still blindfolded, still gagged, and his jaw ached something awful. His stomach growled when the smell of cooking meat met his nose. He was too proud to beg for it.

The blindfold was lifted and he hissed as the light stung his eyes. He saw a young guard in front of him, one he didn’t recognise. The gag came out next, but he decided not to speak, to just work his jaw and hiss in pain. He itched the back of his head on the trunk, hoping to get rid of the few stinging strands, perhaps it was the only pain that he could stop.   
  
The guard didn’t speak, he just shoved a bowl up by his face, it was some kind of stew. He hated the concept of being fed like this, but he wasn’t about to argue and get the bowl taken away. He gave it a cautious sniff and then proceeded to drink it down as best he could, pausing to chew, to catch his breath then take in more. He tried not to think about his situation. He just knew he was hungry and that food was in front of him. He doubted he’d get much more once they arrived at their destination.

The guard swapped the gag out for a new one, and replaced the blindfold. Vasco was grateful this guard was a little softer, not perhaps as trained as they thought. If Vasco could make some sort of ally out of him, then he was going to try. Not pissing off this guard seemed like a good idea for his sake.   
  
He was untied, but he just let his arms drop down by his sides. He couldn’t have fought if he tried. They ached so much. He groaned as they were brought in front of him and retied. Still, after some sleep and a less empty belly, he did feel better.

He was up walking sooner than he wanted, but he couldn’t complain, literally. The gag was rubbing at the corners of his mouth, making him wince and struggle to find a less painful position. He got used to the rhythm again, getting dragged along and every now and then suddenly getting picked up and moved over a log bridge or climbing wall. He’d grumble, but he thought it best to stay obedient for now, to wait until he had a window to run and not look back. He was getting used to picking up his feet more, which saved him the pain of tripping so often.

The rhythm stayed the same for hours, until he heard one of them say. “Last break before camp.”  
Vasco waved his hands in front of his face when they came to a stop to get their attention. The guard tugged out his gag and grunted “What?”

“Piss break?” he dared to mumble.   
“I’ll take him,” someone else said. He felt the changeover. The tight grip on the top of his arm and the way he was dragged along sideways, scrambling to keep his feet.

The guard shoved him against a tree and Vasco grunted. “Hurry up.”  
“Can I move my blindfold? I can’t see the laces...” he asked carefully.  
The guard grumbled so despite the fact Vasco felt sick at the very suggestion, he added in a flirting, teasing voice, “unless you want to do it for me?”   
“No! Just slide it up already. Hurry up!” he barked.   
  
Fuck, he was happy that worked. Vasco smirked while he faced the tree. Sure enough, he did what he needed to do and fastened up, but when the guard moved to come closer, Vasco landed a ferocious spinning kick at his head. The guard dropped like a ragdoll. Now, it was time to run. The guard only had a damned broadsword, and other guards had noticed the commotion. No time to cut himself free. He took off up a path, trying to get the damned ropes off for when he needed his hands free. 

He struggled to run up the hill, with his hands tied in front of him, he didn’t feel like he could run as fast as he usually could, but he forced himself on regardless. He could not get caught again, he just couldn’t. For one thing, Rolf would beat seven shades of purple out of him if not worse. He was not going to their camp. He knew of the horrors which were lying in wait in the basement. He desperately forced it out of mind and tried to just run, to run and not listen to the yells and thunderous sound of men behind him. He had to go, he had to find a way to stay safe, there had to be someone around here who could help- wait, if he was near the camp he’d be near New Serene! Blast it all, which way was it?!

He kept running, but he skidded to a halt, seeing a tall ledge. “Damnation,” he panted. He tried to climb up, but there was no way he was going to be able to manage it with his hands tied. He looked for some other way out, a hidden chest, a blade, something,  _ anything _ . Panic gripped his throat. No, he wasn’t going to just let them take him again. The footsteps were close, he was going to get caught!   
  
With a snarl, he desperately tried to climb up, hoping to use his legs more than his arms. He jumped, his hands caught the edge of the rock and his feet scrambled for a hold. He found a ledge and heaved, but it was so difficult. He tried to force his body. If he could just get up- he had to make it up!

Hands grabbed him by the shirt and yanked him down, letting his back slam against the floor. He scrambled to his feet and backed away. It was the same guard he’d met from before, who’d tied his gag with a little more care. He eyed the man’s narrow blade. He needed it. He lashed out, kicking him as he did the other man, but he didn’t knock him out. He’d been prepared for that and brought his arm up. His leg crashed against solid metal plating and went numb. He backed off, panting. There had to be a way out of this!   


“Please,” he said softly. “Please, help me. You don’t have to do this...”   
“I’m sorry, Captain,” the man whispered, but then he drew his blade, holding it out against Vasco’s chest. Vasco bared his teeth but he couldn’t stop the man stepping forward, pressing the edge of the sword against his throat. Vasco refused to step back. He held his ground, staring him in the eye. He’d been caught, he’d failed, but he was not going to be a coward about it despite the way the fear writhed in his gut and filled up his chest.

More men quickly appeared, and Vasco eyed them all carefully. His breathing was rushed, and it was causing a lot of irritation for his rib, but he tried not to let the pain show. Rolf wasn’t here yet, but he could almost see the man’s filthy smirk in his mind.

“You realise if you all turned on him, you’d be free? What you do, it’s not right. He’s using you. You don’t have to live like this, this isn’t the way a soldier’s life is supposed to be.”   
The men started circling him. “Let me go and I can help you. I can get the Legate, De Sardet and he can stop this.” He kept his voice calm. He wasn’t begging, but if he could get the men to see reason… By the seas, how could De Sardet do this all day?

“He’s probably taking me because I helped stop his plans. He’s going to punish me because I was one of the people who brought him to justice for the things he did against  _ you _ , against Reiner and all the others. It’s not too late-”

A sudden force hit him at the side of his neck, the butt of a rifle and immediately he was on his knees, trying to fight off the dizziness. He groaned, and then he heard chuckling as Rolf appeared.   
  
“Good work, men, don’t let the siren song get to you. He’s a filthy liar. What you’re doing will change the world for the better.”   
Vasco spat on the floor and tried to get back up, but a guard grabbed him from behind, knife at his throat, a fistful of hair in his hand. He pulled Vasco’s head back, exposing his throat. He clenched his teeth and waited for the pain to start.   
  
“Didn’t I tell you to shut your mouth?” Rolf hummed, almost with satisfaction. “The audacity, talking to my men, speaking as if they are monsters.”   
“Oh no, not them, just you,” he spat back at him. The knife came a little closer to his neck, and he felt blood spill, a small trickle.

“Well, Vasco, I’ve tried being hospitable. The rest of this is on you.”   
Vasco didn’t know what to brace for exactly, but he knew it wasn’t going to be good. The knife moved away from his throat, but it was replaced by a fury of punches to the face, his head not able to snap to the side because of the grip in his hair. He could feel the strands being yanked out. He felt blood pour from his nose, he heard the crack and let out a strangled cry. He was heaved to his feet, gagged, and beaten from almost every angle, kicks, punches, he couldn’t keep up with it all, and every time he went down, he was heaved up.

He felt more ribs crack, he felt skin tear and muscles rip. Terror soared through him as he collapsed again, but there was nothing he could do to stop it, not when men grabbed him and another laid down the beating.

For a brief moment, everything stopped in his mind. He realised the fear Reiner would have felt, the primal fury behind it all. Was this how he was destined to die, was this how De Sardet was to find him? Beaten to nothing, left to die like a dead rat. He cried out as he felt a crack in one of his higher ribs, enough to make him feel sick. All he could taste was the blood gushing down his throat from his nose.

He saw Rolf standing further back as he quickly found himself being the victim of night training. This was so much worse though. He was tied, he didn’t even have the chance to defend himself. He staggered and dropped onto his knees, choking on blood, feeling an onslaught of attacks to his back. He collapsed completely, shaking, unable to get up, to even breathe.   
  
“Get him back up, on his knees!” Rolf spat.   
Vasco whimpered as he was heaved up. His vision already limited by a swelling eye. He tried to stop the blood going in his mouth. It was all he could taste, soaking into the gag, getting dry and sticky on his face. He wondered how long it would take until he died. How strong really was his body?

“Much better, I think that will do for now. Don’t want to burn you out all at once.”   
All at once?! Vasco already felt so spent, like he was seconds away from death. He couldn’t keep his head up, his body was limp in their grip.   
“We proceed on to the camp, drag him.”

Vasco couldn’t stop them dragging him up the hill. He just focused on trying to breathe, to stop the horrendous spinning in his head. He had to stay awake. If he slept now, he’d probably never wake up. He had to survive, he had to hold on and hope help was on its way. He whimpered when he heard the doors close behind him.

Why did he ever leave?


	11. Answers

_ De Sardet _

De Sardet was quiet when he entered the village, he saw the staring faces, the hushed whispers, but he didn’t care for that. He went straight to Mordún’s abode and entered. The others waited outside, asking anyone who passed if they had seen their missing captain.   
  
“It is you,  _ on ol menowí _ , what can I do for you?” Mordún said to him.   
“I’ve come to ask you a few questions.”   
“Questions, questions, it is always questions with you and yet you are not stopping the suffering of my people in return.”

De Sardet blinked. “I’m sorry, are you in need of assistance?”   
“One of my people has been attacked by your regnaise,” Mordún glowered.   
“What? When was this?” De Sardet asked carefully. He hadn’t expected to be thrown into such a delicate situation.

“Ah, so you know something about it?” Mordún grumbled.   
“No, at least I don’t think I do. I came here to search for my companion, Captain Vasco.”   
“Ah, with the pointed hat and strange face paints?”   
“Yes, he is missing, or rather I suspect he has been taken. I am trying to find him.”   
“I do not have no Captain here,” Mordún warned, his defences rising.   
“Nor do I accuse you of such a thing. I was wondering if anyone in the village heard or saw anything last night?”   
  
“Last night? This is when Arnca was attacked… You would have to speak to him, but I do not know what he will be able to tell you. His wounds are too much, I fear he is dying and will be soon called back to the Earth.”   
“I am a healer, I could possibly help them if you give me the chance?” De Sardet offered.  
“You can try, but I do not expect much… the wounds are beyond any healer in the village."

De Sardet nodded and left quickly to find this wounded man. To be attacked at almost the same time could not be a coincidence. Siora saw him and he beckoned her over. “We might have a clue. A villager, Arnca was attacked last night.”   
“Yes, I heard, but the people are angry. They claim that it was regnaise.”   
“Yes well, I could claim that too. I have to try and help him-”

He came to the hut, and after a few brief words he was allowed inside. He willed his stomach to strengthen at the sight of him. He carried horrendous wounds from several weapons, all familiar, swords, maces, broadswords, the same weapons used against the dantrig. He watched the man’s ribcage rise and fall slowly, and he saw the bruising, the way this man was slowly bleeding to death through agonising wounds.   
The wounded man flinched at his approach. “Easy,” he said softly. “Arnca, isn’t it? I am here to help you, if you will let me?”

Arnca whimpered, but nodded.

"Try to relax, this will hurt, but it will save you. Please trust me."

The villager braced, and De Sardet was quick to start letting his power gush into his body. De Sardet strained, but remained absolute even as the man cried out beneath him. De Sardet could feel the damaged flesh being repaired. De Sardet was already drained, but he wasn't done yet. He healed the horrendous gash on his forehead hidden by bandages. He didn't want to imagine the sight of the wound.

"Benjamin-" Siora warned, noting the crowd of villagers outside, the way he was draining himself so badly, but the man's pain was lessening. De Sardet's focus was dwindling, he knew he didn't have much left. Still, he kept pouring in more energy, until he would be well enough to speak. But it was devouring him. He felt his limbs grow cold, his magic sputter and then no longer leave his body.

"F.find… Vasco," De Sardet groaned. He felt his legs give way beneath him and he collapsed into Siora's waiting arms.

.........

With a groan, De Sardet awoke, and curled up on his side, taking slow shaky breaths.   
"Steady, Greenblood. I need you to take your time." De Sardet sat up, guided by Kurt. Kurt shoved a cup into his hand, De Sardet's fingers struggled to wrap around the wood. "Drink."

De Sardet did so, sipping cautiously. It tasted bitter, but not as much as a health potion might. A magic potion he guessed, to help him get his energy back.  
"Did you speak to the villager?" he croaked.  
Kurt answered, "No, not yet. He passed out, same as you. He only came around a few minutes ago. He's trying to piece everything together, get his answers ready."  


De Sardet groaned. "How long was I out?"  
"About a day. It's early morning."

Too long. Far too long. He had to get moving, even if there'd been no way to avoid collapsing as he did, Vasco was losing time. Yes, he'd saved a life, and that was a good enough reason to be delayed in his mind but it didn’t change the fact Vasco could be hurting. De Sardet winced and got up from the fur on the floor he'd been laid on. He saw the villager sitting up, nursing his arm. 

De Sardet stumbled over to him despite Kurt's protests.

"H.how do you fare, Arnca?"  
"I am well,  _ on ol menowí _ , thanks to you," Arnca answered happily  
"I am glad… My name is De Sardet, I am the Legate of the Congregation. Could you answer some questions I have for you?"  
"Of course! It is the least I could do."

"Well, Arnca, do you know who attacked you?" De Sardet asked.   
Arnca nodded. “Regnaise. They were wearing metal armour like the lugeid blau.”   
“The Congregation?” De Sardet exclaimed. “Did you see Captain Vasco with those men? Long hair like mine, but lighter, tattoos on his face, wearing black I think."

"Yes, I recall those… Tattoos? They chased him around for a while until they caught him. They bound his hands, silenced him and blinded him with cloth. They then saw me, and I tried to run away, but they found me and tried to kill me! I had to pretend to have passed, and once it was safe, I crawled to my village."

De Sardet couldn’t help but chew at his thumb.    
“Alright… Vasco- the man you saw them capture- was he wounded?”   
“Not badly, though their leader did attack him with his fists when he would not answer him."

"Answer him?" De Sardet. "What did he ask, can you remember?"

The villager screwed up his face for a terrifying and painfully long moment. "Ah, yes! The memory returns. "Vasco called him Rolf… is that a name? And then the man asked where his.. Boyfriend was? I do not understand Regnaise. Why should it matter if a friend is a man or woman?"  
De Sardet pursued his lips. He felt Kurt tense beside him, like a volcano ready to burst. How was Rolf here?! He was meant to in prison!  
"To be a boyfriend or girlfriend means you are courting that person. It means you love them and they are your partner… in this case, I am Vasco's boyfriend," De Sardet answered quietly.

"Oh… That is a strange name for it."  
De Sardet forced a smile. It wasn't fair in the healing man to hear his wrath, his terror.  
"I suppose it is. Tell me, is there  _ anything  _ else you could tell me? Their numbers, descriptions?"  
"There were a small handful, five or six. It was strange to me, how young they all were except this... Rolf? I don’t think I could tell you anything else."  
"Thank you so much, Arnca, really. I don't know where'd I be without your help… may the grass forever be soft beneath your feet."  Arnca smiled, but it became clear he was tired.  "Rest now, you have earned it."

De Sardet got to his feet and picked up his bag. He tried not to let his actions become feverish, rushed, but that was an old habit that had been hammered into him. He always had to look composed.   
  
Even when the love of his life had been taken by a torturous maniac.   


"I hope you find your… boyfriend. I am glad he has you to help him."  
"Thank you, Arnca."

De Sardet left before he could scream into the air.  _ Rolf _ . All of this… was  _ Rolf _ ?! He clenched his fists.

"Thank you,  _ on ol menowí _ ," Mordún smiled to him.   
De Sardet bowed his head. "I'm glad I could help."   
“Did you find what you came for?” Mordún asked.   
“Yes, he was able to tell me who had my… my loved one.”

"I hope you find him,  _ on ol menowí. _ May the grass always be soft beneath your feet."

De Sardet and his company left the village. De Sardet struggled not to just bolt away to sprint and desperately scream Vasco's name. Rolf had him, a man capable of so much pain and horror. He couldn't have received a worse answer if he tried.

"Well, what did he tell you?" Aphra asked once you were out of the village.  
De Sardet took a deep breath. "Brace yourself… It seems I now know why I was needed at New Serene. Rolf had escaped prison… he has Vasco."  
"I swear, I'll kill him!" Kurt snarled, spitting on the floor. “He’s gone too far!”  
"May the enlightened protect him. You suspect he has been taken out of revenge?" Petrus said softly.

"Without a doubt. I know there's talk of me and Vasco around town, 'the Noble and the famous Naut captain'. Only now I worry he's after the rest of us too. We will have to be careful."  
"So where would they take him? Back to the camp?" Aphra asked.  
"I don't doubt it. As far as they're all concerned, Vasco's gone without a trace. They have no reason to suspect we’re onto them," Kurt answered.

"We need to go, now. If Rolf's out for revenge, Vasco doesn't have long," De Sardet said. He started biting his nails, but once he realised what he was doing, he lowered his hands. It was a habit he’d never be able to kick. Vasco had been helping him, gently moving his hand away if he saw him chewing and offering him a hand to hold instead. It had been working, but right now he didn't care.

It was a confirmation he never wanted to hear. "At least we're onto him now. Petrus, will you be able to keep up with us?"  
"I might be old, but I can still hurry to save a friend. Let us waste no more time."

De Sardet's hand brushed against Vasco's sword. They had their heading. He just hoped he could make it there in time to save him.


	12. It's Not An Option

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Vasco whump, content warning for whipping (from a riding crop but also a Cat 'O Nine Tails- which is bloody)

_ Vasco _

Vasco couldn't stop them throwing him into a cell, jarring every wound on his body. He curled up on his side, struggling to draw breath with the pain. He could only lie there and hope it faded off somewhat. The pain was so intense he couldn’t even think. His body was almost done getting the panic out of his system, his hands had almost stopped shaking. He brought his hands up to his head, to massage his scalp a little, hoping that it would soothe him as it did when De Sardet did it. He just wanted to sleep but he couldn't with his wounds.

But men returned all too quickly, throwing the door open and letting it slam off the wall as it opened. Vasco barely fought off the urge to scramble backwards. A hand grabbed his hair again and held him still while he yanked off his blindfold and gag. He was thrown down again, and when he managed to look up, he saw Rolf carried in his hand a riding crop. Judging by the molten look in his eye, he wasn't going to get a break from this any time soon. Anxiety spiked in his chest, making his heart beat faster all over again. He didn’t know how much more of this he’d be able to take.

Rolf slipped the crop under Vasco’s chin and he tensed as he raised up his head. Vasco glared at him, but it wasn’t very menacing when his eyes watered.  
“Sea-given, I thought as much. Unwanted little runt. Tell me, from which family are you from?  
“I’m a Naut,” he croaked. “We don’t  _ get _ to know.”   
  
Rolf chuckled. “Right, you’re a Naut. Fascinating… creatures.”   
“Hey! You don’t get to call us creatures, you beast-”   
Vasco’s rebellion was immediately silenced when the crop slapped hard against his cheek. Vasco hissed as it disturbed already tender skin. He was sure he could feel a welt forming.   
“Just how do you navigate over all that blue?” Rolf purred.   


Vasco clamped his jaw shut as if the words were just going to fly out of his mouth on their own. No. That was a secret he would take to his grave. He would not be known as the Naut who gave away all their secrets.  
“Tight-lipped, hm? Well, we’ll get the information out of you. I want to know everything. I’m going to transform this whole island, and once I’ve done with them, my sights will be on your precious Nauts. The Coinguard will be superior soon enough.”

Vasco glared at him, but it only earned him another stinging slap, this one hit against the side of his neck. He clenched his fists to manage the pain.  
“Let’s go over this from the beginning, shall we?”  
Vasco grunted as the other man came over to him, and heaved Vasco up to his knees. 

For a moment, he expected a beating, but instead he was forced to face the wall, the rope bindings were secured onto a hook, leaving him kneeling. The guard pulled up his shirt, leaving it hanging over his hands. The blindfold was replaced, leaving him in darkness. Vasco closed his eyes anyway, trying to imagine it wasn’t there. He’d been whipped before. He could manage this. He knew what to expect.

“How do the Nauts navigate, Captain Vasco?”   
Vasco grunted as the crop came down on his back.   
“Science?” Another whip. “Magic?”

Vasco steeled himself and gripped onto his shirt. Speaking was not a choice. Smack. He told himself over and over that he couldn’t stop this. Smack. There was no choice. Smack. He wouldn’t betray the Admiral. Smack. His family.

He tried to distract himself by mumbling the name of every sailor he could think of. His back felt so hot and sore that thinking of names was getting harder and harder, but those names were the people he had to protect by keeping the secret. He tried so hard to not make a sound, nothing past a grunt. He knew Rolf could do so much worse than this, but Rolf was taking his time, enjoying himself.

But he couldn’t stop the whimpers that started to leak past his lips, the hisses and yelps. He cried out as the crop hit directly onto his healing shoulder. That only prompted the crop to come down more and more on that area until he screamed. His body shook from endurance, but he would not speak. He’d sooner bite his tongue off. With De Sardet out of his life, he only had the Nauts and he would not betray them.

“Out of the way,” he said t the man who’d been whipping him. “My turn. Please do hold your rebellious silence, filth, this is such an excellent means of relaxing for me. I’d love for it to last.”   
“Go to hell,” he ground out. “But I think even the sea would spit out your foul body-”  
He was cut off by a haggard scream as he heard the snap of the whip, the lick of fire against his back. That wasn’t a crop, that wasn’t a crop, that was a cat o’ nine tails! It would destroy his back! He clenched his fists, trying to ignore his bubbling panic.

“Well, I think your time with the crop was enough of a chance for you to speak today.” Vasco couldn’t fight it as the gag was pressed back into his mouth. Part of him was grateful, it meant he really couldn’t spill secrets. He bit down on the cloth but he couldn’t stop the screams that made it past his lips. The cat cut deep, and its tendrils were well known for removing skin. Too many could kill a man.

“Count these for me, filth. Twenty-five should be a good warm-up for the rest of your stay here.”   
How the hell was he meant to count with a gag in his mouth? Was he meant to count the last three as well? He groaned, deciding it safer to start from now. He tried to pronounce the words past the gag, interrupted several times by his own cries of pain. He heard something wet splat against the floor. Blood. This was insane.

It quickly became impossible to stop the cries. He didn’t try anymore. It wasn’t worth the extra energy. He threw his back with every lash, he whimpered in between lashes, but he focused on counting. He was at seventeen, and he felt ready to break down and cry. Tears slipped down his cheeks. He tried to reassure himself. Eight more. He could manage eight more. He was Captain Vasco. He was a Naut. He was strong enough to do this. He could do it.

He felt hands on his head again and Rolf hissed in his ear. “How many is that, filth?”   
“S.seventeen… excluding the first three...”   
“Funny, I counted fifteen. We’ll go with that, eh?”   
Vasco choked out a sob of despair. This was breaking him. He felt like nothing at all, so insignificant. Another ten lashes… he had to do this. He was a Naut. He was a Naut. He could do this. What was another two swipes of pain? Tears flowed freely and soaked into his gag. He couldn’t hold back his sobs.   
  
“Pathetic… Here I heard you were a tough one. It’s disappointing. Can’t even take a few whippings.”   
Vasco didn’t answer him. He wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. He was just glad he couldn’t see the state of his back now. The gag was removed again and he coughed and choked.   
“Scream for me, filth.”

That was an order Vasco wasn’t able to disobey. The final ten lashes ripped screams and cries from his chest. He hung from his arms, a shaking, bleeding mess by the time Rolf was done with him. And he knew this was only the beginning.   
“Here, let me help you,” Rolf said.   
Vasco screamed again as a bottle of something was poured over his back. Alcohol he guessed and lit his already searing back up with white hot pain.

He was so close to blacking out with pain. He could feel the heaviness trying to take over him. He couldn’t even speak when Rolf was done with him. He felt torn up and shattered. He wasn’t untied. He was left to suffer, wounds exposed to the world. His ribs screamed from straining, his shoulder roared and his back was nothing but wildfire.

“See you tomorrow, filth. I will get my answers out of you sooner or later.”

Once he was sure they left, Vasco let his emotion pour out, the sobs, the cries and anger. He didn’t know what to do, what to think or feel. There was nothing but the pain, the massive ebbs of blinding pain that controlled his whole torso and made his body twitch. It had been half a day and he was already struggling, his pride felt chewed up and spat out. 

This was too much, just too much and Rolf was only getting started. This was going to kill him. He knew that much. He didn’t want to die like this. What he would have given to have De Sardet holding him right now, shielding him from any more suffering. Instead, he was alone in a pissy cell with blood pouring out his back and crying like a child. Life was cruel.

“Find me,” he sobbed. “Please...”


	13. Soon

_ De Sardet _

De Sardet’s legs ached from travelling, from the strain of having been drained of energy that he needed to regain as he moved. He didn’t have the time to stop and rest. None of the group was happy about that, but they also understood why he was doing it. They knew the threat that loomed over Vasco and they knew they had to get there as soon as possible. But they also knew De Sardet had healed a lot of big wounds within two days. They all looked at him with concern and pity. De Sardet tried not to show his exhaustion, he tried to act like he was fine. If he could just last for a little longer.

He and Siora were doing their best to keep up with the tracks, but it was hard. But it seemed like they were going back towards the Ghost Camp. De Sardet couldn’t take his hands off Vasco’s sword, stroking it with his thumb, caressing it as if offering it comfort. He didn’t know what else to do. His mind was so full of anxious and intrusive thoughts, imagining what horrors Vasco might be going through.

“Greenblood, I’m calling it for a break,” Kurt said. “You’re not even walking in a straight line anymore and the others are tired.”   
De Sardet stared longingly at the road. What if they’d almost caught up? What if he was just around the corner? What if they rested and it meant Vasco got more hurt?   
Kurt came closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “I know you want to keep going, we all do, but we have to pace ourselves. Once we get to him, we have to be in top health, ready to fight, heal if necessary.”   


De Sardet never was able to fight against Kurt’s logic, but his mind would be torturing him until he was on the move again. “There’s… there’s a campsite coming up around this bend… we can stop there?”   
Kurt nodded. “Thank you. I know it doesn’t feel right to stop when you know they’re out there. I get it, I do. I’d keep going if we could, but we also need to come up with a plan. We’ll be there by tomorrow, if we time it right we can get there for nightfall and put an attack into motion.”   
  
De Sardet nodded. That did sound like the better option. He just felt so hopeless. Who was he kidding? There was no way they’d catch up, he was definitely at the camp by now, at their mercy. What was he thinking of right now? Him? The pain? Wishing he was back with the Nauts, that he’d never stepped foot off his ship?

“Benjamin, don’t be letting your thoughts eat you alive. I know that look. Come on, you can help me find firewood as we go. You have to try to stay sharp.”   
“I’m just so frightened for him… this is my fault-”   
“No, it’s not!” Kurt asserted. “It is not. We all spoke that night, and none of us meant any ill towards Vasco. We didn’t take him, we didn't want him to be. This isn’t our fault. Either way, we’re here to fix it.”

De Sardet let his head drop. “I suppose you’re right. I just feel so guilty. I don’t like thinking he thinks I’ve used him. He was already a little insecure, and this just made that little hole into a tear. Even if he forgives me, if he comes back to me, things won’t be the same. I’ll always be reminded of this, of my failure.”

“You’re overthinking again. Remember the exercises I’ve taught you for clearing your mind. Besides, I’m sure Vasco would have something ocean related to say about that. It’s a storm you’ve weathered, survived together. You can get through this.”

De Sardet picked up a few dead branches from a tree. “We’ll see… He probably hates my guts. For now, I just want to know he’s well."

The camp came into sight and everyone flopped down, near exhausted. Once he’d sat down, De Sardet questioned how he’d even walked as far as he had. He was sitting on a log and he realised his legs were shaking, bouncing against the leafy floor when he had only the ball of his foot on the floor.

“You should maybe lie down?” Aphra advised.   
“But I need to help you with the camp?” he said softly, voice full of guilt. He wanted to help, they were all just as tired as him.   
“You need to regain your energy, and your magic energy. We’ll wake you when it’s time to eat.”

“I’ll light the fire… then we’ll see.”

He took the dead branches and cleaned up the old firepit, getting the dead bits of wood out and building it back up with leaves, twigs and bigger sticks. Kurt brought more tinder, and soon De Sardet was able to set to work on lighting it. It was a bit of a distraction as he tried to draw some sparks out of the firelighter. He furrowed his brow and concentrated until finally, it became a flame.

He cared for the fire until it grew and became healthy. He kept feeding it. The others prepped supper and put it on a spit over the fire. The night was quiet, calm, but De Sardet didn’t want to sleep. He felt on edge, just as Vasco had when the bandits had attacked.   
  
“I’ll take the first shift,” Aphra said.   
“I will take over from you,” Siora offered.   
Kurt chipped in next. ”I’ll do the last third, and then we should be good to go.”   
Petrus and De Sardet exchanged glances. “But-”   
“No, sleep. You’re both spent up and you’re our magic fighters. We need you both as fresh as possible. You can both take a shift the night we get Vasco back, alright?”   
De Sardet sighed. “Fine, but I’m holding you to that.”

Time passed and De Sardet managed to force himself to eat. He looked at the space beside him and sighed. He felt so cold without Vasco's arm around him, without being able to lean on him or for the campfire to light up with laughter when they'd end up singing some sort of shanty. They always seemed to raise their spirits, but he didn't have the heart to sing without Vasco. He found himself humming one of his favourites, row me bully boys, wishing he could have felt the vibrations of Vasco's chest as he hummed along with him. The humming brought him comfort, and it seemed to help the others too.

Once he was fed and watered and he settled down to sleep. He brought Vasco's hat up to his chest, trying not to notice how his scent was fading from it. He tried to hum more to stop him from choking up. By tomorrow he would have him back. Yes… by tomorrow, he'd have him back, at least know he was out of danger. He smiled and tried to steady his mind as Kurt had taught him, but it took time. He stared into the fire, watching it dance until his eyelids grew heavy.

Aphra started humming a song, though De Sardet didn't recognise it. Still it soothed him, reminding him of Vasco's hums. It was enough to tip his exhausted body over the edge and he found sleep at last. He could only hope Vasco would be there to greet him in his dreams.


	14. Keep The Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More whump for this one, warnings includes water torture, mention of dislocations, and also a grim part including a meat hook, as well... There's some emotional torment in there as well (About De Sardet and being unwanted), so read with caution if you could be sensitive to any of that.

_ Vasco _

_ Keep the secret. Keep the secret _ . That had become a mantra to him in a matter of hours. Vasco had to hand it to him, Rolf knew what he was doing. He was good at his foul job of torturing people. He hadn't been left long after the whipping before more men had showed up. They'd had their turn, humiliating him by trying to get him to eat like a dog. When he didn't, they dislocated his already damaged shoulder and let him scream. He still wasn't ready to give in. They'd tied him to the ceiling by his wrists, gagged him and left the blindfold on. He wasn't sure if he was grateful they'd dislocated his already healing arm. At least he still had one good limb to keep the weight on.

What he hadn't known was how hard it was to  _ breathe _ in this position. He felt like he was slowly suffocating, never getting enough air to be comfortable. The men tormented him no doubt all night, keeping him awake, jabbing at his wounds, cutting him every now and then. Vasco felt sick, his body was so tense his body ached.  _ Keep the secret _ , he reminded himself, but he cried out when one of the men kicked his legs out from under him, jolting all his shoulder. He passed out a few times, but it never lasted. They didn't add much to his injuries aside from the shoulder, but they wore him down. He was exhausted already and they were just adding to it.

_ Keep the secret… keep the secret. _

The door opened but Vasco was too tired to react, he wouldn’t have been able to see anything with the blindfold on. He didn't know what pain to focus on so instead he clung to his line. He didn't know how long he could hold on for. He wouldn't speak, he swore to himself, but something inside him felt close to snapping. He hated it. There was no way to get out of this.

"Well then, Naut. Let's see how tight I can squeeze today."  
Rolf. Vasco's empty stomach twisted. Not again, no more, please no more. They had to give him a chance to rest.

He was released and dropped to the floor which made him scream. He whimpered and tears streamed. The gag was removed once more, and he was heaved up to his knees. He listened and heard a wooden thunk. He tried to hide his panic. That sounded like a tub. That had to be a tub. What was in it?!

A hand wrapped around his hair and before he could fully prepare himself his head was shoved down and hit cold water. He barely managed to hold his breath, to not gasp and scream when it disturbed his shoulder. He tried not to struggle. That burnt air faster. Don't move, don't even think. It worked for a good forty seconds or so but his lungs were getting needy. How long was he planning on keeping him under?

Something slapped hard against his shoulder and he lost all his air instinct barely stopping him from gasping in pain. He struggled and tried to get up but Rolf waited until he was almost unconscious, when his panic had all but run out. 

He was pulled up and gasped desperately for air, coughing and grabbing as much air as he could while he could. He knew he'd be back under soon. Sooner than he'd have liked. He was shoved back under, the process repeated itself. And again. And again. And again...

Vasco inhaled water on the last attempt and was given a few moments to clear out his lungs. He shook, his shoulders hurt so badly. "Please," he wheezed. "S.stop…"  
He was shoved back under immediately until he was limp yet again. He couldn't take this.  
" _ Please! _ "

"What's wrong, Naut?" Rolf laughed. "Growing scared of a little water, are we? Tell me what I want to know."  
Vasco kept gulping air while he could.  _ Keep the secret _ ,  _ keep the secret _ ,  _ you have to keep the secret.  
_ Back under. Dunked for what had to be over an hour, up and down. Vasco could feel himself breaking, cracking, shattering. This was just too much for him. It was too much for any man, but he held his silence. Talking was not an option. He shivered with the cold and blood loss.  
Rolf finally slapped his good shoulder. "Hang him up to dry lads."

Vasco choked out a sob. Nothing could have been as bad as that, nothing-

Oh, how quickly he was corrected. Pain erupted in his good shoulder. He screamed, feeling  _ something  _ pierce the skin, going further and further in, curling up, under his shoulder joint. He screamed and passed out with the agony.

Sleep didn't keep him from long. His hands were tied above his head with the hook taking some weight but not all of it at least. He trembled and didn't hold back his pain, his broken sobs. Oh, fate as cruel. To be broken by water, ropes, and hooks. He just wanted to die- no, he wanted rescue, but really what chance did he have? At this rate, he wasn't going to live long enough to  _ see _ the rescue. 

_ Keep the secret _ . 

Vasco managed to stand on the balls of his feet this time. He wanted to raise his legs to get a full breath but the pain in his shoulders made that impossible. He didn't try to speak. He knew better than to give him an excuse to hurt him.  
"You're stronger than some of your filth, scum, but it won't last. I can see you're struggling. Why don't you just tell me? It's not like they'll know it's you. I might even let you live, let you sleep, give you a good meal. Doesn't that sound marvellous?"

_ Protect your family, keep the secret. _

He didn't answer him.  
Rolf sighed. "So be it."

The blindfold was ripped away and Rolf laughed seeing his face, the tears no doubt.  
"Pathetic… tell me, scum, how did we find you all on your own? Where was your darling Legate? Did he dump you?"  
Vasco hoped his expression didn't betray him. He couldn't give him that ammunition.  
"Oh, he  _ did _ . Ha! Cast out yet again. Really no one must love you. Given away by your family, kicked off your ship by the Admiral, rejected by the fuckin noble. Ey, hopefully the bedding was worth it though."  
"S.shut up…" he slurred.

Rolf grabbed him by the cheeks. "You're a sad excuse for a man. Are you honestly surprised? No one wants you, not nobility, not the Nauts, and not your precious De Sardet. He had his fill and moved on-"  
"Shut up!" Vasco snapped, closing his eyes tight.

But the taunting continued, and to add to it, Rolf had a dagger, slowly digging it into Vasco's body, his arms, his thighs, his torso. It was a sickening hurricane of torment that Vasco didn't know how to navigate. He tried to hold back his tears, to stay strong but he was so tired, so sore and exposed. There was nothing left in him. But he knew what Rolf's tactic was. Break him down, make him feel like nothing, like he owed the Nauts nothing and then the secrets would spill. It wasn't going to happen, even if he hated himself in the process.

"The Nauts are nothing but a disease, a useful one, but a disease all the same."

_ Keep the secret. _

Rolf pushed hard, leaving him bleeding and emotionally destroyed. He eventually yawned. Vasco guessed he'd survived until night time. "Oh, Vasco, you are  _ fun! _ "

Different men entered, and he knew his torment was going to start all over again. Every second he lived felt impossible, like he should have snapped. He clenched his jaw. No, no he couldn't listen to Rolf's words. He would not break. He would hold. For his own sake, his pride, he could not break. He had to hold onto hope, that De Sardet would come. His Tempest just had to come… 

And so swallowing hard, he prepared for his next round of torment.


	15. Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but dramatic. Contains more whump including hand whump (broken bones) and threats of face whump (cuts). I hope you like it.

De Sardet

De Sardet woke feeling much stronger. He packed up the camp as soon as they were able and hurried along. If Vasco wasn't in this camp, De Sardet didn't know what he'd do. He spent some time making a few magic and health potions. They weren't the best, but they worked and helped. He packed up the bottles and saw Kurt frown.

"Take care of yourself," he advised.

It wouldn't be much longer now, and that gave De Sardet a burst of nervous energy but it was energy all the same. They dined and discussed their plans. De Sardet hoped he could talk down the men before they would attack. He didn't want to have to fight off the soldiers, but Rolf was an exception. He was all Kurt's if they could help it.

There wasn't much they could plan for aside from getting through that door and tearing that place apart to find Vasco. De Sardet and Kurt would lead, Petrus and Aphra would keep to the middle so they were shielded for their ranged attacks and Siora would watch their backs.. De Sardet just hoped he was there. It would almost be as bad as finding him hurt. He just wanted to make sure he was safe, well, and unharmed.

“Chances are he’ll be on the bottom floor, if we take the back gate, then we can go straight into the bottom of the building. It will mean we can take them more by surprise, and make sure they can’t do anything to stop us,” Kurt said.  
 _Like taking Vasco hostage_ , De Sardet thought, but he tried not to dwell on it. He knew the risks, he’d done many rescues. He couldn't let the fact that this was Vasco change his approach. He had to keep his head.

So they set off at an eager, but sensible pace. Night was creeping in, and De Sardet was determined to keep his anxiety in check. They could do this, Vasco was going to be back in his arms soon, it was a promise he hoped he could keep. 

* * *

_Vasco_

The men's torments to keep him awake meant Vasco was soon reduced to a silent trembling mess. He was trying so hard to hold onto his resolve with gritted teeth, despite his broken or cracked jaw, and a sweaty brow. It had only been two days perhaps a little more, but he was already struggling. He wouldn't give himself permission to break. He was beaten for a little while that night, they tugged at the hook in his shoulder, disturbed his dislocation, aggravated his ribs. 

There was no way to describe how he felt. He was sure fever was wrapping around him. He was sure he could hear the sea. He smiled at it though, it was comforting… he tried to imagine being at their dock. It was a fantasy that didn't last when more pain engulfed him.

He barely noticed Rolf standing in front of him, the way he was dragged off and tied to an X-frame with chains. It did nothing for his shoulders, he wasn't sure which one hurt more but somehow that was the least of his worries.

_Just keep the damned secret._

He didn't know why he was so scared of himself giving up the Nauts. He didn't trust himself at all despite his fierce loyalty. Rolf was so good at digging his claws into his insecurities and gouging them out into the open to rub with salt, the pain he caused was sickening, and they were only two days in.

Vasco looked at Rolf with defiant eyes. He wouldn't beg, he was too tired to even try. It was just layer after layer of pain and there was no escape from it. "You don't get to glare at me!" he felt something crack in his leg when Rolf hit him with a metal pole and a shrill cry left his throat. To hell with it all, he was done. No more of this, no more!

There was more knife work, slowly pressing the knife deeper and deeper, trailing it down his skin, leaving fine lines. Rolf broke four of his fingers until he apologised for staring at him, and whimpers tumbled past his lips. He rambled the names of ships, his precious Sea-horse, the Trident, anything to stop himself from talking about their secrets. He snarled and panted through the pain.

"You're breaking, Vasco. Why do you fight it? No one is coming for you, no one cares," Rolf said coldly.

Maybe not, but _he_ cared about them. He wouldn't abandon the Nauts like that. He wouldn't put others at risk. The Nauts were good people, and he would protect them with his life. He was a Captain, and that was his duty. Maybe he wasn’t really cared about, he was too tired to dwell on it, but he sure as hellfire was going to be loyal until the bitter end.

Vasco choked on a whine as the blade slid across his stomach, gliding through the bruised skin, upsetting his ribs which already made it so hard to breathe. Rolf’s tight grip on his throat wasn’t making it any easier. Blood trickled down his body and soaked into his trousers. The line was shallow, but Rolf was focused on his mind games again. Was it even possible to feel more pain than this? If there was, he was sure Rolf would find it. His whole body throbbed with blinding spiking pains. Every twitch sent another wave over him.

“Such pretty marks they give you, I like these ones,” Rolf stroked his cheek, snickering at how Vasco shuddered and tried to turn away. That damned smirk would haunt his dreams if he ever got to sleep. “They’re so pretty, they tell your story, don’t they? Maybe I should add to them, after all, this is quite the adventure you’re having, isn’t it?”  
“N.no… please...” he rasped. Not that. For goodness sake, not that!  
Rolf grabbed him by the jaw and the flare erupted as he disturbed the cracked bone. “Just here, under your eyes, I’m sure I can make something pretty for your ugly mug.”

The door slammed open, but Vasco struggled to raise his head, but seeing who it was enough to make him smile weakly before he let it drop again.  
“Benji...” he breathed. He’d come for him after all. The joy was short lived when Rolf pressed the knife against his throat, against his artery.   
“ _Get your filthy hands off my Captain!_ ” De Sardet roared.


	16. Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rescue time! Warning, this involves descriptions of injuries and fixing bones and removing objects and stuff like that.

_De Sardet_

“ _Get your filthy hands off my Captain!_ ”   
It was a good thing De Sardet didn’t need to care about the noise he made. By some miracle, he’d been able to persuade the soldiers to stop this, to help him. They waited outside, ensuring no one else could get in. Now he just had to get this scum away from his beloved.

His beloved… _Vasco!_ Seeing the state he was in broke his heart. His face would have been pale had it not been for the array of bruises covering the skin. Vasco, despite both his eyes being swollen, though one worse than the other, looked at him with sad eyes full of guilt and shame. De Sardet couldn’t believe it; he’d braced to see him injured, maybe beaten, but not this, not beaten to point he had clearly broken ribs and a swollen jaw and he certainly didn't expect for a fucking _hook_ to be in his shoulder. De Sardet gritted his teeth. He had to seem calm even though he was _baying_ for blood. Rolf had to suffer and die for what he had done! Vasco did not deserve this! Maybe he did, he'd closed this place- not that he’d done a good job at that, but Vasco had just been standing by his side. 

“No! How did you find-” Rolf exclaimed, but he cut himself off. “Very well then. Welcome to the fun, De Sardet, what a surprise. Someone did come for this pathetic rejected little pest after all. A sad excuse for a Captain really, but then Naut captains are different, maybe this is the best they can do.”  
Words were building up behind De Sardet's teeth. How dare he say such things?! Vasco was nothing like that, nothing! He was the greatest man he's ever met and he would be the best Captain the Nauts had ever known.

"The only sad excuse for a Captain here, Rolf is you," Kurt said coolly. De Sardet decided to swallow down his words before they broke his teeth and burst out in a fiery rage. He had to keep control.

Rolf forced Vasco to raise his head with a groan, holding his jaw in an iron grip. Vasco opened his mouth slightly, trying to find a way to lessen the pain. “We both know I'm better than you, Kurt, and this isn't about you. Still, we had fun waiting for you all, didn’t we, Vasco?”  
“S.sorry,” Vasco managed, making eye contact with De Sardet, but he was cut off when Rolf squeezed, drawing a whimper from him. Vasco closed his eyes tight and gulped. De Sardet watching him try to clench his fists but immediately stop. Broken fingers.   
“You _demon!_ ” Petrus thundered. 

“Let him go!” De Sardet warned. “No one is going to be getting in here to help you. Your men have turned on you, again, you’re alone in this.”  
It was clear learning this hit him badly, but he tucked away his sour expression as soon as it came. “That is a shame, but no… no, that doesn’t surprise me. I hadn’t been able to train them to submit… yet. But I’m afraid your precious worm will be staying with me, as will you all, if you want him to live, that is. Drop your weapons. I'm sure my men will come crawling back once they see you all locked up and beaten down. If you don't, you can watch me cut him. Try to stop me, and I will kill him.”

“Take me instead." The words left him before he could even acknowledge them, but he wouldn't take them back, he still meant them. "I tore down your little empire, not him. I'll do whatever you want.”  
“N.no,” Vasco slurred, his voice hoarse.   
“Greenblood, no!” Kurt exclaimed.   
“Hush! This is my decision,” De Sardet barked back. He had to get Vasco back, he had to keep him safe no matter what it took. He deserved this so much more than him. He wasn't about to let the others suffer because of him either.

“Tempting...” Rolf mumbled. Suddenly he yelped out. Vasco had leaned forward and bit his hand, biting _hard_ until he snatched his hand back, taking the knife away from his throat. Kurt was already in the air, diving at him before he could hurt Vasco anymore than he already had. They scuffled for a while until Kurt was able to overpower him, beating him with years worth of unleashed fury.

“Vasco!” De Sardet cried, hurrying over to him with the others close behind. “Hold on, hold on for me, please!” He pleaded as he tried to assess the damage. There was so much blood…  
“Tempest,” Vasco mumbled, more in a faint whisper. “Y...you came?”  
"Here," Kurt panted, tossing them a set of keys from Rolf's belt. He proceeded to drag Rolf around the corner, to the cell.

"Free him, I'll hold him up," De Sardet instructed. This was bad, really bad. He cupped Vasco's cheek as carefully as he could. Vasco hissed, but leaned into it all the more. "Of course we came for you. I love you more than anything! We’re getting you back to New Serene to heal. Stay with me, Vasco, focus on me. I am so sorry, for everything. I. I'll put this right, I promise." His heart sank when Vasco hushed him softly despite how hard it was for him to breathe. Here was Vasco possibly dying and he was offering him reassurance? Tears pooled in his eyes.

Aphra used the keys and freed his legs first and De Sardet realised Vasco couldn't keep his feet. He crouched down, wrapping his arms around Vasco's hips and lifting ever so slightly, just enough to keep his weight off his shoulders. Vasco groaned but didn't struggle. That was good. De Sardet wasn't the strongest. His talents lay in accuracy and agility, he wouldn't be able to carry him for long. The position wasn't a good one to hold either; his legs were already burning.

"Hurry," De Sardet grunted, "And get ready to catch him. Lower his arms slowly." Aphra freed his dislocated arm and Siora carefully lowered it, chanting under her breath. It wasn't healing his wounds, but it did seem to soothe him.

Once the shackles came away from his wrists, he dropped down like a stone. Petrus helped to steady him just until De Sardet could get hold of him. He fell into De Sardet’s arms with a groan and a whimper, completely limp, spent beyond words. De Sardet tried to help him to the ground but when his hand brushed against his back, Vasco jolted. He paused, looking down at his hand, and then to the horrified expression his companions wore. Oh, the _blood_ ...   
  
“Oh no…” He'd whipped him, that monster had flogged his beautiful captain. The skin he used to leave trails of kisses across was dark and bleeding and torn up. No punishment would be fitting enough for that _scum._   
“T.Tempest...” he murmured, at least trying to turn his head. It broke De Sardet out of his thoughts.   
“I’m here, I’ve got you, shhh. Easy...” De Sardet tried to soothe him. “J.just save your strength.”

De Sardet didn't even know how he was meant to lower him to the floor. “We’ll have to lie him on his side for his ribs…”  
“You will have to heal his dislocation first if you want to save him from the pain," Aphra advised.

De Sardet still didn’t know what he was meant to do with him. He eased him to the floor and kept him sitting up for now, letting Vasco lean against him, his head limply hanging down. Being so close to him made him realise just how awful his breathing sounded. He hoped he hadn't picked up an infection. He carefully lifted up his head and eased it over his shoulder to help him get more air.

“Siora?” he asked.  
She nodded. “I can put it back, hold him still. I will be careful."   
De Sardet's grip tightened slightly on Vasco, hushing him as he stroked the back of his head. Being able to hold him, seeing the state of his battered and bloody face up close brought a fresh wave of devastation and silent agonising tears slipped down his cheeks. He could see his need for sleep in his dark and dull eyes, like a dark stormcloud had ruined that beautiful sunrise in a wheat field that he had so fondly described. De Sardet put his hand on his forehead, and the heat he felt did not reassure him. He pressed his head against the side of his as tears escaped.

“You’re going to be alright. You’re safe now,” De Sardet promised with a strong sounding voice. “You’re safe, I’m so sorry. This is going to hurt, but there is no other way. Please try not to fight me.”  
“I… I thought you… h.hated me?” he wheezed.   
De Sardet hushed him and planted a kiss on the side of his head. “ _Never_ . I love you more than all the waves in the ocean. You're my one and only. Hold on, treasure.” De Sardet held him as best he dared, keeping Vasco facing him until Siora was able to move the joint. Vasco shuddered, pressing his forehead against De Sardet’s shoulder. He groaned and whimpered and whined despite himself. Siora was working carefully, but De Sardet could feel Vasco tensing beneath him. “N.no more...” Vasco whimpered, his voice so full of fear and pain. “ _Please..._ ”   
  
“Shhh, I know, I'm sorry. It will be done soon, you’re with friends. We have to heal you. Shhh… Deep breaths. Petrus, I need you to go and ask the men for some supplies for these wounds. We'll sew them at New Serene but we need to control this bleeding."

Petrus nodded and disappeared upstairs.

Vasco cried out as Siora finished with her work and it went back in, his cry was so haggard and raspy. He was so weakened. De Sardet just wanted to sob and cradle him and make it all go away. This wasn't fair!  
“We cannot heal him until that is out. The skin will seal itself around the metal. I am not sure how would be best," Siora admitted.

The hook. Seeing it up close was enough to make him feel nauseous. “I can’t do it,” De Sardet said, stroking Vasco’s matted hair, desperately trying to give him some comfort. He couldn't bring his love any more harm, not by his hands. Besides, how was he even meant to take it out? Surely it would be barbed?

  
“Kurt?” De Sardet asked softly. “Please, help me. Quickly.”   
Kurt took one look at the hook and sighed softly but nodded. He took off his gloves and knelt beside Vasco. “Alright… this is going to hurt him a lot. You want something to bite onto?”   
“Jaw…” Vasco mumbled.   
De Sardet could see the awful swelling. This wasn’t fair! “Cracked I think… the animals! And they have the audacity to call the natives savages!”   
  
De Sardet couldn’t watch Kurt remove the hook with the aid of a blade. He tried his hardest to focus on Vasco’s face, but seeing him grimacing with pain, seeing him trying so hard to keep quiet. Vasco clung to him as best as he could. Kurt was almost done when his eyes grew wide. He cried out and his back arched upwards. He tried to get away from the pain but Kurt help him still with a strong grip. “Easy, Captain, easy!” Kurt was done. He threw the hook down in disgust.

De Sardet didn’t hesitate to push as much healing energy into Vasco’s body as he could. He eased the swelling and inflammation on the dislocation, which meant he could lie on his side. Siora used her magic on his bleeding shoulder, and De Sardet placed his hand on Vasco’s back to clean up the awful slashes and welts that had been left behind.

Vasco clawed at the ground with broken fingers and cried. “N,no more… secret… Ngh, T.Tempest, please!” his voice cracked and broke. Even the slightest bit of extra pain was just too much for him. De Sardet clenched his eyes shut and gritted his teeth, but he couldn't hold. He took his hand away, only having half finished the job. Vasco lay shaking, sobbing and pleading in pain. De Sardet choked on a sob. “Vasco, I have to do this, I’m sorry but if I don’t...”

“Hurts… Benjamin, I.I’m sorry… s.shouldn’t… left.”  
Was he really apologising for leaving them in Hikmet when he was in _this_ state?!   
“Shhh, we’ll talk about that later. I love you so much, Vasco. We weren’t talking about you, I swear. Aphra, get me a health potion. It might take some of the pain out. We'll give him a minute and then try again."

De Sardet carefully scooped him back up, holding him in his arm. He took the potion from Aphra once she removed the cork and pressed it to Vasco's lips.  
“Trust me,” he said softly “Drink for me.” Much to his relief, De Sardet was able to ease the potion into his bruised and sore mouth a little at a time. Vasco coughed, but he kept trying until it was all down. It would be a painful memory that De Sardet carried, but being able to hold him really was such a massive relief. He was still alive, he still had him. “Thank you… We’re going to get you somewhere safe, just a little longer. I’m going to make this better, I swear I’m going to make this all better.”   
  
Vasco took a shaky breath and groaned. He turned as best he could, giving De Sardet his back. “D.Don’t stop… ignore me.”   
That was not what De Sardet wanted to do at all, but at least they both understood that healing the thick of these wounds now was so important. De Sardet gulped down a magic potion, seeing blue smoke hovering over his skin, feeling the buzz of energy within him.

Vasco looked like he was fighting to hold back his cries of pain. His whole body was tense as De Sardet worked as fast as he could to finish healing his wounds on his back, so he could lie down. He whimpered, murmuring about secrets, but finally, the wounds were healed. Now they were just small scratches, but the scars would still be visible. The more he healed the cleaner they'd be at least.

Next came the ribs. He wanted this cleaned up as best he could for now. "Vasco, I need you to take slow deep breaths for me alright? Do the best you can for me."  
He gave Vasco a few seconds to practice before he and Siora both set to work, focusing on the bruising and breakages for now. Vasco cried out, but he did his best to follow the instructions, to help his ribs heal properly. De Sardet focused until his ribs were at least back in position and somewhat healed. It would do for now. The cuts remained but they weren't deep.

Vasco groaned and went limp. De Sardet hushed him and stroked his matted hair. “It’s done. You did it, it’s done. I... don’t have any more to spare. I could use another magic potion-” De Sardet reached into his bag but Vasco strained to take him by the wrist.  
“No,” he said softly.   
"Vasco is right. “We’re getting him straight back to New Serene. You’ve healed his most dangerous wounds. Let’s get back before you exert yourself. I can’t carry both of you,” Kurt said.

Petrus returned with the dressings and bandages. Some of the soldiers came down shyly asking if there was anything they could do to help.

"Get a wagon ready, blankets, pillows, make it as comfortable as you can for him. We'll pull it ourselves if we have to."

The soldiers left quickly, calling orders to the others to sacrifice their bedding for the cart. All it left was for them to bandage up Vasco's torso as best they could. The bandages soaked red for a few layers until it was thicker and more supportive. Vasco didn't move, didn't flinch. He was completely spent now. De Sardet wanted to give him more help, but he was better off awake.

Kurt picked Vasco up from the floor before De Sardet could ponder healing him anymore. His arms felt bare with Vasco gone yet again. “Easy, Captain. We’ll get you back and get you healed,” Kurt mumbled.

De Sardet got to his feet but his legs were shaking. Petrus steadied him, just as Aphra had to aid Siora.

"He's safe now," Petrus said to him. "Be at ease."


	17. After The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, now we can get onto the good angst, fluff, and a cheeky sickfic part. Thank you all for reading this so far. I'm not sure how many more chapters there'll be, maybe half a dozen, it just depends.

_ Vasco _

Vasco’s memory was limited to brief flashes of time, as he went deeper under the waves of sleep and back up. He woke for a brief moment to being shaken, as if on a cart, and the next thing he knew he was being carried upstairs… somewhere. He wasn’t able to figure it out in time before he was asleep again. He remembered so much pain, indistinct voices, the feeling of cool cloths on his neck, the sound of hushing and the sweet taste of water against his dry cracked lips. He remembered the nightmares, the fear, and someone humming to him whenever his eyes would flutter open, De Sardet, he seemed to recall. Rolf's wounds must have been too great, he was dreaming, surely? Everything was so blurred and indistinct.

But finally he was able to wake up with a feeble groan and stay awake. His eyes stung. He let out a soft shudder, feeling a cold wet cloth laying against his forehead, the way a few drops of water had trickled down his neck and soaked into the bandages.

This wasn't the camp, this was one of Benjamin's residences, the dark, cozy walls, the bed beneath him was soft and had fine red covers and soft but supportive pillows. He needed them. He ached terribly, beyond words, his chest, his shoulders and back, his jaw, hands, and leg. The more he woke the more he acknowledged it. He opened his mouth but the only thing that left him was a groan. His mouth hurt from the gag, he guessed it was red raw at best and his jaw was definitely cracked or broken.

Everything was so heavy and the pain made him too afraid to move. His leg was in a cast which was itching up a storm, and his once dislocated arm was bandaged to his bare torso to keep it still, folded up so his hand was near his other shoulder. That shoulder, the one that been hooked, was bandaged and in a simple sling where his arm could rest in the loop of material. How had he even survived this nightmare? There was so much…

He looked down, seeing a familiar head of long black hair stooped over the bed, he heard his soft snores. Benjamin… part of this didn't feel real but he couldn't hide his relief at seeing him there. He'd found him, saved him from  _ that _ … It didn’t feel right, not if De Sardet really hated him so. Surely this meant he cared. He didn’t know, nothing made sense anymore. Vasco could only guess he must have fallen asleep in his chair when he was watching over him. 

De Sardet was close enough that Vasco could brush his fingertips across his hair without taking his arm out of the sling and prove that he really was there. This wasn't a dream, there was that same soft hair, the same length as his own. He really was safe again, he'd survived the storm. De Sardet groaned and raised his head. His hair was a mess and he has the same sleepy expression on his face that he'd grown to adore. He was so perfect, so beautiful, but it only made his heart ache.

De Sardet's face seemed to immediately brighten at seeing him awake. Vasco couldn't help but study his expression for signs of pretending but at the same time, he hated himself for doing so.   
  
“Take it slow, my love, nice and slow,” De Sardet said to him, putting a hand on his chest. “You’ve already sat bolt upright twice and passed out again.” My love, it made for a cold reassurance.  
"I did?" he mumbled.  
"You had bad dreams," De Sardet admitted, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. Vasco flinched away at first, not wanting the affection, not sure if it was real, but he was too tired to fight right now. De Sardet hesitated with a frown, and Vasco couldn't help but close his eyes and mumbled it was okay. He didn't want to see the hurt that lingered in his eyes. 

De Sardet slowly continued. Vasco focused on the feel of De Sardet’s hand, now on his forehead, and then it drifted down to his cheek, not on the side where he'd broken his jaw which was a relief. It was so cool and comforting. He savored it, not sure if he'd be feeling it for the last time...

“H.how… long was I...”   
“Two days. Before you ask, everyone is well. The Admiral knows you’ve been found and that you’re healing. The men who needed to be punished have been or are set to be. There’s nothing to worry about. I know you well enough by now, and I don’t want you stepping foot out of that bed on your own. You need rest."

Vasco nodded slowly, that much was a relief at least, but he didn't like the idea of being a prisoner in bed with people he wasn’t sure if he trusted- although… This bed was comfortable at least. The New Serene bed he so often shared with De Sardet would always be his favourite place to be in land. The thought made him frown. “And… what about… us?” There was so much he wanted to say but his jaw throbbed so badly. He was limited to short breathless sentences.

He coughed, sending a whole new tidal surge of pain over him. He grimaced and tried to stop coughing but that only made it worse. The pain had him clinging to his chest, trying to make it stop. Tears filled his eyes.  
"Easy, I've got you," De Sardet soothed, taking him under the arms and helping him to sit up. He propped the pillows behind him and got him a glass of water. Vasco didn't get the chance to hold it. He let De Sardet put a hand behind his head, supporting him as he sipped away at it. "Deep breaths… I'll get you another health potion."  
"'m fine… don't waste your money on me," he mumbled.

De Sardet sighed softly. “On you, it's never a waste… Look, I understand that what happened has left you… well, lots of things. Angry? Mistrusting? Lost? But before we go any further, I want you to know that I want to try and fix this, alright? Vasco, I don’t want to lose you. I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you! I beg of you to listen to me, to give me a chance to explain.”   
Vasco frowned but managed to mumble "A.alright…" De Sardet had a  _ lot _ of explaining to do but he would listen. Losing Benjamin would tear something out of his heart that he'd never be able to replace.   
  
De Sardet took his hands away with a sudden nervousness. "Just give me a second. He went to the corner where his travelling bag was and rummaged around for something. “That night… what you heard… We were talking about Bastien. I know it might sound far fetched, but we really were." He returned victorious with a health potion and a piece of paper. He pulled out the cork. "When I went downstairs I’d received a note from him, see? He demanded we escort him to New Serene. We were complaining about  _ him _ , and I didn't want to tell you about the note that night because you were in a good mood. We could never say those things about you." Vasco read the note, and sure enough it was a note from his brother. Had he really left and gone through all of this because of a misunderstood piece of paper?

De Sardet offered to help him drink down the potion, but Vasco reached for it, ignoring the aches, he forced his arm up to drink it down. He pulled a face at the bitterness, but it was a relief to feel a coolness spreading across his body, the way the pain faded away somewhat. De Sardet continued, "I just didn't want to worry you about travelling with him when you were so looking forward to being with me. Perhaps it was spiteful of me but I tried to have your interests at heart. Still, I don’t think you heard everything we said otherwise it might have made sense? For one thing, I don't really associate you with that family. You're Vasco… my Vasco, my captain."

Vasco looked down while he thought, what he said did make sense, more so than them talking about him, but doubt wasn't something that could be just flicked away. “I heard up until you said you would get rid of ‘me’ at New Serene. I… I thought you were going to put an end to us, that you were just going to give me that night and then get rid of me. I thought it best just to go..."

De Sardet reached forward, first taking the empty bottle from him and then settling his hand on his arm. “As I said, we were to drop Bastien off at New Serene. We found the note you’d started to write… It really helped me realise how much this has hurt you, what you were thinking, but  _ please _ know that I love you more than anything in this world. I could never say those things about you. You’re an amazing man, kind, clever, and you have a beautiful mind. You’re brave and loyal and one day I really hope I can leave this life behind… that I can join you as a Naut. I’ve already spoken to the Admiral to see if it’s possible and she said it was. I wish to sail with you, treasure. I always have."   


Vasco caught his breath. He had not been expecting him to say something like that. “You… you would really become a Naut... for me?” His heart sang hearing that, despite the weight that lingered. If De Sardet was really telling the truth, that he was going to give up everything for him, that meant they could be together. He wouldn't have to choose between his home and his love. Vasco tried to reach up to wipe the tear from his eye but Benjamin beat him to it, gently wiping it away with his thumb and smiling. Maybe he’d regret it, but he believed him. He was willing to give him the chance to prove himself. Oh, by all the seas how did he ever doubt this man?

De Sardet leaned in close, resting his forehead against Vasco’s. “It's who I am and with you by my side, it's all I could ever ask to be. I’d sail away with you right now if I could," he said softly. "In truth, I was going to tell you that night, as a surprise…"  
"Tempest… I…" Vasco didn't know what to say. His wounds still stopped him from doing anything. He just couldn't believe it. He just wanted to reach up and hold him close, to never let go.

De Sardet cleared his throat softly. The discomfort seemed to radiate from him. "I… I hate thinking that you don’t know how much I care about you. I know I have lost your trust, that you hurt and it kills me inside to know that, but if there was any way to show you that-"   
“I believe you,” Vasco promised. Oh it was a relief to be able to talk a little easier thanks to the health potion. “But, between Rolf’s words and my clearly foolish thoughts and reckless assumptions… let's just say they left an impression, but what you say, I believe you more. It just- it might take time for that to sink in.”

"I understand that. Thank you, for listening, for giving me a chance."

De Sardet kissed the top of his head, but Vasco felt De Sardet's lip tremble and tears began to spill. He cried, and he did not try to stop himself. Days worth of stress finally burst. Vasco strained to sit up more, but with one arm literally tied to him and the other so tender, it wasn’t easy to slip it out of his simple sling and reach up for De Sardet’s cheek. “Benji? No, don’t cry, no… not for me.”   
“I thought I was going to lose you,” he blubbed. “I.I thought I’d never see you again, that I’d never be able to explain or hold you or even see you again. I was so scared, Vasco, I was so  _ scared _ -"

Vasco's face fell. He pulled him close, kissing the crown of his head in return, wrapping that arm around him as much as he could. “I’m here, Tempest. You saved my life, you haven't lost me, I swear. I know you love me, and I’m so happy to have you back... Honestly, I wanted to come back as soon as the drink started wearing off… Don't hold back, let it all out. You need to let this all out." 

Vasco wasn't about to go letting him put a cork on his emotions again. He was too good at hiding them until they burst, it was a terrible habit for nobles to teach their children. They stayed like that for a while but he also knew he had a lot more in him. He was putting the cork back in, getting ready to tuck it all away again. 

Vasco held him as best he could, despite the ache. He tried to ignore how his arm shook. He wanted to comfort him, he didn't want to see him upset like this. He'd clearly been punishing himself enough before now. He looked so tired, so weary.

De Sardet leaned back, wiped his eyes and tried to smile. "It's been a lot to take in- wait, your arm! I'm sorry- I'm such an idiot!" he spat, gently lowering it.  
"It's alright, Tempest. I'm fine. Don't worry yourself."  
"Can I get you anything?" he asked, guilt heavy in his expression.  
"If it helps you, then I wouldn't say no to more water."   


De Sardet rushed to get him a glass. Vasco wasn't sure if he could hold it himself, now not with an aching arm and two fingers being strapped together on either hand. He did try but his hand was shaky and his grip worse than before. De Sardet helped to support him, giving him at least a little bit of independence. He appreciated it. He'd had enough of being weak and vulnerable this week.

Vasco sighed after his second glass. He looked down, seeing De Sardet's bloody knuckles and frowned. Why hadn't he healed them? He let him take the glass away so he could brush his thumb against his knuckles. "How are you, honestly? This isn't all about me. It doesn't look like you've been taking care of yourself… please heal these, I don't like to think you're hurting..." He lifted De Sardet's hand and planted a kiss on his knuckles, so rough now compared to what he was used to. De Sardet sighed, but Vasco watched as a flicker of white magic wrapped around his hands and the wounds faded away, leaving barely visible marks. Vasco kissed them again as a thanks.

"You matter so much more than me right now, but I am… better now thanks to that. I was just shaken, I couldn't process anything," he admitted softly. "As I said, I was afraid, but I'm so happy to have you back."

"Is there anything else you want to say, to get off your chest?" Vasco asked.  
De Sardet bit his lip. "Just… please don't ever leave like that again. I know you were under the influence, but if you can help it, please. You can always talk to me, and even if you don't want to at least say where you are going."  
Vasco nodded. "I've learned my lesson. You have my word… I'm really not cut out for the woods."

De Sardet let out a weak laugh. He squeezed his hand carefully, avoiding his broken fingers. "Perhaps not… Vasco… if you ever want to talk to me, to tell me what happened in there, I'm here for you, you know that, don't you? I will always listen. You told me to let it all out, to not bottle things, maybe you should do the same if or when you're ready. I do find it helps the memories heal."

Vasco really didn't want to talk. He didn't want him to have to know and feel worse, he didn't want to remind himself, at least not yet. "We'll see, but thank you- for everything.”  
De Sardet leaned forward, resting his forehead against Vasco’s. It was such a soft and tender moment that Vasco had craved for so long. “Anything for you, treasure.”  
Vasco smiled. “Now then… get on this bed and hold me before I burst with anticipation."

De Sardet chuckled past the lingering tears and tugged off his shirt and boots. He climbed under the blankets, pulling Vasco into his arms as they snuggled down. It felt so right again, like he belonged, and he tried to kick any thoughts to the contrary back into the depths of his mind. He had his Tempest, he had him back and he wasn't going to push him away again. De Sardet stroked his hair and hummed softly to the Wellerman shanty. Vasco lay still, taking deep breaths and soaked it all up, feeling Benjamin's heartbeat. "I've missed this… us. You help everything melt away…" Vasco murmured.

Vasco drifted off to sleep before he knew it, knowing he was finally safe in the arms of his tempest.


	18. Healing Is A Long Road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, have a healing Vasco, complete with nightmares, dealing with trauma, and some wholesome moments smothered in angst. I love my bois so much, honestly, I might have to write more angsty whump fics for the greedfall characters soon.

_ De Sardet _

De Sardet couldn't sleep. He didn't really try. He was too relieved to be able to hold Vasco in his arms as he slept, monitoring the fever that lingered around him. It was good to be able to see Vasco rest, for him to look at peace while he drooled slightly. He grunted in his sleep and turned his head away, showing the bruises on his neck and face. He wished he could heal it all away. Vasco did not deserve this amount of suffering. At least within a few days, he'd be mostly healed. Right now it was the fever that worried him. It was a storm Vasco could have to ride out, but he didn't know if his body had the strength. He kissed the side of his head.

"K.Keep… t'secret… keep…" he murmured in his sleep. “ _ Benji _ ...” he whimpered.

De Sardet frowned, he hoped he wasn't having another bad dream. He wished he could just sleep in peace. Vasco's head moved to the other side now, showing his bruised jaw and the small cut on his chin. His breath quickened and he tried to grip the blankets beneath him. “N.no...”  
De Sardet grimaced. "Not again… Vasco, wake up. Come on, wake up," De Sardet said softly, cupping his cheek. He knew better than to shake him. The first time he'd done that, Vasco had almost stabbed him in a blind panic.   


Vasco groaned, not yet waking, so De Sardet spoke louder. "Vasco. Wake up, treasure. Wake up. Vasco!"

De Sardet was ready when Vasco woke with a start, reaching down for his sword and trying to bolt upright but only succeeding in punching De Sardet in the thigh. He cried out in pain. "Vasco, you're safe. It's all alright." De Sardet wrapped his arms around him, stopping him from throwing himself forward. "Easy, you're safe." Vasco instinctively tensed and grabbed at De Sardet's arm, his grip painful, his eyes wide and wild, but not really seeing. His lip trembled as he tried to steady his breathing.

"Vasco, it's me. It's me, Benjamin. Easy… shhhh… It was just a dream. I've got you, breathe, Treaure."

He waited patiently for Vasco to collect himself. Waking each other from nightmares was a routine they were both all too used to. De Sardet's were rare but potent. Vasco's nightmares before Rolf were occasional, enough for De Sardet to have gotten used to them, but they were nowhere near as bad as this. He usually had bad dreams about storms but worse, like he'd be fighting sea beasts too, losing people overboard or whatever else his imagination threw at him. De Sardet was determined to be there for him.

Vasco groaned, letting go of him and whimpering in pain. He let himself go limp in his arms and De Sardet cuddled in close to him, wrapping a leg around his. De Sardet took his hand and eased some healing magic into it to get rid of the pain in his broken fingers. "Sorry," Vasco mumbled tiredly.

"You don't need to apologise. You were having a bad dream again, I thought it better to wake you… you get really… worked up by these ones."  
Vasco took a deep breath and turned his head more into De Sardet's chest. "They'll fade with time… thank you."

"Do you want to talk about it?" De Sardet wasn't sure what his answer would be. Sometimes he'd talk about his dreams, it seemed to help him process it, accept that it wasn't real.  
"Not really… It was… Rolf." He shook his head. "More of a memory than a dream… the beatings were…"

Torturous? Terrifying? Unfathomable?

Vasco shuddered and pressed himself even closer to him, giving up on speaking, trying to explain. De Sardet stroked his hair. He'd seen firsthand how it could be when they'd attacked Wilhelm. "I understand… It's over now, just a memory. Maybe you should try to go back to sleep?"

Vasco shook his head. "I can’t yet, too soon... I really need a bath…" True, areas of his skin were still stained with dry blood and he was sweating. The heat could do his muscles some good, he just hoped it didn't make his fever worse.  
"Would you like me to go and get one ready?"  
"Yes but also no, I'm comfortable…"

De Sardet wasn't sure if that was the only reason. Even though he'd been woken up before it could get too bad, he did look shaken. He held him a little closer. "I'll heal some more of these wounds later once I have a bit more energy. Kurt will kill me if I pass out ag-" he stopped himself.  
"Again?" Vasco mumbled, raising an eyebrow.

Heat rose in his chest but he wasn't sure if it was embarrassment, guilt, or shame. "Again… You were in a bad way, you’d lost a lot of blood. I healed more than my body was capable of. I was out for the first day, but I pulled myself around enough to sit with you," he admitted. No, he didn't regret healing him. Vasco deserved the help. He’d  _ needed _ it. He just wished he hadn't found out. He was an idiot! He had to watch his words. He couldn't give Vasco reason to worry.

"So really you should be asleep too?" Vasco grumbled.  
"Possibly, but I feel well enough for now, I promise." That much was true. He was tired and achy but it wasn't as bad as it could be.

There was a knock and Kurt entered after De Sardet called him in. He had two good bowls of stew and Vasco's stomach rumbled like thunder.  
"Here, some real grub. Go slow," Kurt advised and De Sardet helped him to sit back up. Vasco couldn't help but lean into De Sardet for comfort. Kurt handed De Sardet both bowls. "I'll be downstairs. Anything else you need?" Kurt asked.

"Would you pour a bath?" De Sardet asked.  
"You'll need to change the bandages afterwards but yes, I'll do that. Call after me when you're nearly done eating."  
They thanked him before he left.

Then there was quiet. Vasco grimaced in pain as he tried to reach over for the bowl.

"Would you like help?" De Sardet asked, seeing the shake in his fingers.   
Vasco looked away, he didn’t look happy about it. De Sardet could appreciate why he didn't want to. He was a proud man, independent, and incredibly stubborn.   
“Maybe if you just ditch the spoon, then I can just make sure it doesn’t spill as we did before with your drink?” 

Vasco gave him a very small, but grateful smile. “That would be better. I'd appreciate it. Eat yours first, might as well let mine cool off a bit.”

De Sardet grumbled but nodded. Vasco reached over to his bowl, took out the spoon and ate the remains from it. De Sardet glanced to him in confusion, but then he reached down and tried to get the handle under his cast. De Sardet smirked.    
“Really? The back of a spoon?”   
“It’s itchy,” Vasco defended. “I’d use my sword if I could-”   
“And that would be the tale of how Captain Vasco lost his leg. Now leave it be. It'll only get itchier.”   
  
Vasco sighed and put the spoon down. “Fine, it’s a bit better now.”   
“Good.” De Sardet got rid of his own spoon and began to drink the stew down, standing in solidarity with Vasco, but also checking how hot it was. Vasco smiled at him.   
“Alright, your turn, go slower than I did though.”

Together, they managed, with Vasco controlling how much he got and De Sardet supporting the weight of the bowl. Vasco eventually moved the half-empty bowl away. “That’s as much as I can manage.”   
De Sardet kissed the side of his head. “That’s still good, do you want to have that bath?”

Vasco nodded. De Sardet smiled softly. He had hope that Vasco would be able to overcome his fears, that he would be able to come back from this. Vasco's eyelashes fluttered and he reached forward to kiss his lips. De Sardet welcomed him, cupping his cheek.

Healing was a long road, but De Sardet was determined to be there for every step of the way.


	19. Wounds need patience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here you go. Enjoy a guilty De Sardet looking after his bean. This chapter has Vasco in the bath so warning for nudity- and also guilt/self-blaming. I don't think there's anything else I need to mention for this chapter.

_De Sardet_

It didn't take long for the bath to fill. De Sardet checked the water before waiting for Vasco to undress. He carefully removed the bandages from his shoulder for him and helped him lower his arm. "Go very slow, don't use it if you can. I don't mind helping where you need it."

Vasco struggled to get in and keep his leg out of the water with his arms not being able to support him. De Sardet wasn't the strongest but they managed.

"Alright…" Vasco cleared his throat and started to clean himself but his arm was tired. He stopped body tense and sighed. “Could you… could you help?”  
"Of course I can. I know it's frustrating, but it's only for a few days."

De Sardet gently washed his back and shoulders using his bare hands. He let his hand ease up into his hair, massaging it gently. Vasco closed his eyes and leaned into him. A little groan escaped him and De Sardet chuckled.

Vasco's back arched as De Sardet eased a whisper of healing energy into his back, hoping to take the ache away for a little while. Vasco gripped onto the side of the bath for a moment, but he stayed relaxed. De Sardet kissed the back of his shoulder. “Should I wash your hair?” He took a little scoop of water with his hand and gently splashed up his chest, getting it wet to rinse the blood off.

But immediately Vasco tensed. De Sardet felt the change and stopped at once.

"Are you alright? Did I do something wrong?"  
"Just… give me a moment…" Vasco was forcing his breathing, keeping it slow and deep. He seemed to be staring off into nothingness, lost in thought.

De Sardet frowned, he wasn't sure what could have made him so nervous all of a sudden. He loved the bath, he'd spend over an hour in until the water was cold if he'd let him. He usually liked De Sardet running his hands over his body and their flirtatious talk. “You haven’t told me everything that happened to you, have you?” he said softly.

“Without meaning offence, I haven’t told you anything, and I’d rather it stay that way. You don’t need to burden your mind with details.”  
“And you don’t have to carry this burden on your own," De Sardet pleaded, but he kept his voice quiet and calm. "Vasco, let me support you. Please. You’d ask it of me. You are loved, you are important, and you are not some burden. If you're not ready to talk then that's okay, even if you never want to talk about it, I won't push. But do not bottle this up for my sake."

Vasco shook his head and curled up on himself as best he could. “You’ve seen most of what they’ve done… but it’s a cruel man who makes a _Naut_ anxious around water.”  De Sardet didn't speak. He kissed his shoulder again, not moving away for a long while. He wasn't sure what he was meant to do or say. He reached around to take Vasco's hand, hoping it was enough for him to feel supported. Vasco took a deep breath.

"Rolf wanted to know about the Naut's secret. Obviously, I wasn't about to tell him… so he whipped me," he half-heartedly gestured to his now mostly healed back. The scars would be clean and hopefully faint when De Sardet was done with them. "A little while after that, he spent literally hours dunking me into this tub of water. Testing how long I could hold my breath. Holding me until I almost drowned every single time. I was so lightheaded and… and afraid. It almost had me undone. They squeezed… something out of me, my spirit, my… me. I thought I was fine, but feeling the water… I realise I'm not. I'm a mess, I'm weak and cowardly and broken."

“No, you’re not.” De Sardet shuffled around the tub until he was at his side. He eased his fingers into the back of Vasco's hair and then brought him closer. He kissed him. It was soft and gentle. It was just them, their love, their bond and nothing else. Vasco pulled away with a soft gasp, eyelids fluttering slightly. They rested their foreheads against each other.

"You’re still here, you're still my treasure and always will be. I promise. You're just a little lost in the fog. You are not weak, nor a coward, and you aren't a mess. You've been through hell, so you need time to heal as any man would. I don't think he took something from you, rather I think rather they left something behind… and you can and will overcome this."

Vasco's eyes grew damp but he tried to bite it back. De Sardet opened his arms and Vasco leaned into him, trying to keep quiet, to force tears away. De Sardet kissed the top of his head and mumbled reassurances until he calmed. He stroked his hair lovingly. "I've got you," he promised. He waited for Vasco to start crying, he was so sure he needed it, but Vasco forced it all back down.

A few minuted passed until Vasco pulled away and scrubbed and evidence of almost crying away. "A.alright… it's better now," Vasco whispered. "Let's… let's just get this over and done with. Will you wash my hair?" And this man dared say he was a coward? He always faced his fears, always pushed himself to be better. De Sardet wanted to hold him tighter but he didn't dare in case he hurt him.

"Okay… we'll take it steady. I have an idea. Sit tight, handsome."

Vasco blushed, and De Sardet kissed his head again before he got up, hurried downstairs, and returned with a wooden bowl from the kitchen. "Alright, let's see how you feel with this… can you scoot forward a little? That's it, now lean back a little and tilt your head back." Vasco did so, but he swallowed hard. He probably feared he was just going to dunk it on his face. He held onto De Sardet’s arm as best he could for support.

Instead, he did what his mother used to do, or at least the woman who had raised him… it was a difficult fact to get used to, but at least it meant he could help. He put his hand on Vasco's forehead, sticking up, and gently poured a little bit of water behind it. Vasco flinched but he soon realised the water wasn't touching his face. De Sardet's hand meant that the water couldn't get past it. It all went to his hair. He repeated it several times until Vasco's hair was wet enough and then he got the soap. He helped him sit back up a little for his back.

"Don't you ever think you're a coward, do you hear me? You are the bravest man I've ever known. I don't know if it means anything to you but… I'm proud of you, really proud of you. You never let things keep you down and control you. You’re incredible."  
Vasco paused for a moment. "I haven't heard someone say that to me for so long… Thank you, Benjamin. That... that does make a difference."

De Sardet smiled at him. How could he not be proud of his Naut, his captain? He was his world- more than that, he'd tipped his world upside down and made him realise it was the wrong way around all his life. He made everything right, he was an inspirational man who kept on going and he was his. Now he was pushing himself to let his spirit heal after such a horrific ordeal. He refused to stay down. De Sardet felt the warm swell of pride and joy on his chest, but also guilt. He should never have been in this situation...

"I love you, Tempest," Vasco whispered.  
De Sardet tried to shove those thoughts away. "I love you too, Treasure. You can relax now and I'll give you a head massage if you'd like me to?"  
"Oh, that sounds _glorious_."

Vasco was able to unwind, his head almost limp in his hands. He purred and groaned in satisfaction. De Sardet made the point of spending longer doing it. He guessed the guards would have pulled his hair, so he worked to undo any pain they'd left behind.

"Once you're completely healed, I'll spend a whole night giving you a good massage. You've earned it. Fancy oils and all," De Sardet smiled.  
"That's something to look forward to," Vasco hummed. “But try to pick one with a weaker smell that doesn’t cling to me for the next week like last time you rubbed my shoulders.”  
De Sardet chuckled softly, but he’d loved waking up and burying his face into Vasco’s neck and smelling sweet lavender. "I’ll see what I can find… Okay, let's rinse this out now, head back, Treasure."

Vasco wasn't as nervous this time now he knew what was going on. De Sardet was very careful with him until it was rinsed, he wanted to make sure this stayed as a good experience. Vasco swallowed hard, De Sardet saw his throat bob. “I’ve got you,” he murmured.

With care, he washed his chest, his arms and legs. He couldn't help but look at the wounds and scars that remained. They were all his fault and he washed them with such tenderness so as to not hurt him anymore than he already had. Vasco managed to wash his own face, just dipping his hands into the water and wiping his skin.  
"You finished?" De Sardet asked him gently.  
"Yes, but… I don't know if I can get out…"

De Sardet reached for the plug to drain the water out. That was one benefit of being here. He got the latest plumbing, even if it was just a pipe that led downstairs and out of the house.

With the water gone, De Sardet was able to heave Vasco up onto his feet, making sure he didn't slip. It was nice, feeling Vasco's wet and bare chest against his shirt, not caring how it absorbed the water. He had Vasco in his arms, he could feel him, his every muscle, every detail on his body. He hid his face in the crook of his neck for a moment. Holding him… it was home. He was his everything, and his actions had meant he’d almost lost him. He suffered now because of him.

"Benji? Are you alright?"  
De Sardet sighed softly. "Yes, of course. Sorry, let's get you back in bed."  
De Sardet did so, helping him to sit on the edge of the bed and letting him put some loose pants on while he got bandages from the next room. He couldn't help but reflect on how injured he still was.

De Sardet had healed him until he dropped and still Vasco suffered. De Sardet paused upon coming back into the room. To be able to see all the marks they'd left on his body again to see the extent of the suffering he'd endured. He hated it. He hated knowing what he'd been through. This was all his fault. He should have killed Rolf when he first met him. He shouldn't have spared him from that final swing of his blade. If he'd been a little more ruthless then perhaps this would never have happened. Guilt chewed at his heart.

"Tempest? You in there, love? Come and sit down," Vasco asked.

De Sardet pursed his lips and came closer, “Just got distracted, sorry.” But he was almost possessed with the need to kneel in front of him, and he did so.  
“Tempest?” Vasco inquired softly, managing to cup his cheek.  
De Sardet let his head fall against Vasco’s legs. “I missed you so much,” he admitted.  
“I know, and I missed you too. You kept me going in there,” Vasco answered, stroking his hair. “You look tired, maybe you should sleep?”

De Sardet chewed at the inside of his lip. He was burning through energy faster than he was making it but what use was he if he couldn’t take away Vasco's suffering? He’d caused all this pain on the man he loved most and he was determined to fix this. He just had to fix this. "Will you let me heal you some more first?" De Sardet asked softly.

Vasco sighed and nodded, "Only as much as you can  _ safely _ manage."  
"What bothers you the most?"  
"My hands and my leg. Pick one. They’re more a bother than hurting so don’t worry about what you can and can’t do.”

De Sardet took Vasco’s broken leg in his hands and let the cool white magic seep into his body, down his knee, to the source of the break. He could hear it knitting together. Vasco grunted, wincing and biting back a noise of pain. He had to hold onto De Sardet's shoulders for support.

De Sardet didn't stop, not until it was healed all the way. He felt dizzy, he knew he should stop but he just couldn't. He helped Vasco lie down for a moment to help him calm. Then he went into his bags, taking a major magic potion.

“What is that?” Vasco croaked.  
“Nothing to be concerned-”  
Vasco grabbed his wrist in a sudden movement, but it still made him wince. He looked at the bottle and instantly recognised it. His expression darkened.

“Benjamin...” Vasco warned. “Don’t you  _ dare _ .”

It was now or never. He had to help Vasco back to full health. To hell with the consequences. He was hurt and De Sardet had been too slow in finding him. He could fix this and he would. Perhaps it was cheating since Vasco only had one free hand, but De Sardet took the small vial with his other hand while Vasco still held his wrist. He pulled out the cork with his teeth and drank it down.


	20. And The Soul Needs Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter's pretty angsty. Enjoy some forced healing, magic exertion, papa Petrus looking after his dumbass adopted son, (I really like the idea of him stepping in to be like a father for De Sardet) and Vasco being shooketh.

_ Vasco _

Vasco couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He watched in horror as De Sardet drank down the potion with a few big gulps. “Benjamin, I mean it. No!” This was not going to end well, he knew it before it even began.   
“I can do it,” he grunted, tears still standing in his eyes from before. Vasco tried to sit up, but he was tired, aching from straining and stretching too much in the bath. He knew if De Sardet healed him anymore, he’d pass out. He already looked pale, sweaty, and haggard, but De Sardet was determined, and there wasn’t going to be much he could do to stop him.

Much.

“Don’t make me call for Kurt,” he said. “I might not be able to drag you off but he can. I can’t let you burn yourself out like this.”   
De Sardet frowned, “Please just trust me. I can do this. I have to put this right!”   
“Tempest, you need to rest-” he tried. “I’m okay, it’s okay. Benji, you’re going to end up hurting yourself. I don't want that. Please just come to bed. Please just lie with me."

But he wouldn’t hear of it. He sat on the edge of the bed and put his hands on Vasco’s chest. “This is my mess, I… this is my responsibility. I fucked up and I need to put it right.”   
“Benji-” a deep hiss cut him off as the cold magic made its way into his feverish body. The cold feeling was soothing, hypnotic almost, but he would not allow De Sardet to burn himself out like this for him, not when he wasn't in danger.

“Kurt!” he shouted.   
That only made De Sardet work faster, pouring out more magic. “Please… I. I can do this… I can… take it all away,” he pleaded through gritted teeth.   
Vasco wheezed in pain as the magic worked on his broken and cracked ribs, forcing the cracks to seal, dragging the skin together and growing new where it was needed. He had to admit, being able to take a deep breath without pain felt like an impossibility until now. 

But De Sardet had to stop. This was dangerous.

He groaned and tried to turn away but De Sardet was determined and stood up, leaning over him. “Kurt!” he bellowed, crying out when he felt a finger snap back into place. He glanced up at De Sardet through teary ears. His nose was bleeding. “ _ Anyone! _ ”

The door flew open, but Kurt wasn’t there. It was Siora and Petrus. Petrus was quick to pull De Sardet away, which wasn’t hard since he was already swaying, ready to fall. Petrus caught him and wrapped his arms around him from behind and pulled his hands away, keeping hold of them.

“No!” De Sardet whimpered. “Let me finish! I’m… almost...”   
His legs fully failed him, and Vasco could only stare in horror. He was so determined to help him, so determined to make it all better. He just didn’t care about what it could cost him. Vasco tried to get up to comfort him, but Siora kept a hand on Vasco’s shoulder. “Stay.”   


Petrus eased him to the ground, still holding onto his clenched but shaking hands. “It’s alright, my child, no more… It’s alright, you can give no more…”   
A broken frustrated growl left De Sardet’s throat but Petrus did not yield. He groaned again, whimpering as he tried to get up, before he finally went limp and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Petrus sighed heavily.

“Are you alright?” Petrus asked Vasco as he took a handkerchief and pressed it against De Sardet's bloody nose.   
He was a little stunned to hear the question. “Fine… physically good now I’ve been healed, but...”   
  
“What happened?” Siora asked. “Why was he so determined to push himself so hard again?”   
“I think he blames himself… I had a bath and maybe seeing everything, hearing a few things… It. It must have caught up with him... Is he alright?”  
“I think he has held onto enough of his strength. If he had continued it may have been a very different story,” Petrus said, putting a hand against his forehead. “But he is cold."

Vasco felt a pang of guilt. He shouldn’t have told him anything. He should have played the part of a bad patient and acted like he was better than he was and saved De Sardet from the guilt, the worry. This wasn’t fair on him. He should have realised. He should have-   
“This is not your fault, Vasco,” Petrus said softly, his voice deep and rumbling like thunder. “I know that look. You are not to blame. This was his decision.”

He nodded slowly, but he felt numb. Not betrayed exactly, well perhaps a little, but he was more frustrated. Frustrated with himself, with Benjamin for not listening, furious with Rolf, and frustrated with everything life kept throwing at them.   
“We should carry him to bed,” Siora said once the bleeding stopped.   
Vasco carefully shuffled over the mattress so there was space on that side of the bed. “Here. I doubt you’re going to let me help.”   
“You doubt correctly,” Petrus said.

Petrus and Siora worked together to get De Sardet out of his jacket and to get his boots off. Then they managed to heave him into the bed, With Siora getting his arms and Petrus his legs. Vasco covered him with the covers and snuggled close to him to keep him warm. Burnout usually made De Sardet icy cold so he did what he could to help. He sat fussing over him, not caring who was there watching. De Sardet looked so weak, so sickly. He brushed the hair out of his face with his fingertips

  
“I will go and prepare a drink for him,” Siora said before she left.   
“If you don’t mind, Captain, I’d like to stay here and keep an eye on De Sardet… You should sleep too, I’m sure that much healing was quite exhausting.”

He wasn’t wrong, but he couldn’t just go to sleep after seeing that. He didn’t want to sleep and have something happen while he was out. He didn’t want to tear his eyes away from him even for a moment.   
“Vasco?” Petrus inquired.   
Right, he hadn’t answered him. “Sorry. You can stay, but I don’t want to sleep yet.”

But he was so tired...

“I do not think he is not in danger, Vasco, I just wish to make certain,” Petrus assured him. “Being healed takes up a lot of energy. I am here so that you can sleep. Fighting against it will only make you feel worse.”   
“I know,” he answered, but he made no attempt to lie down. “I just… I don’t understand. He seemed at ease, happy to be helping me and then he just changed. He got upset, blaming himself, I thought I talked him around and he offered to heal me. I agreed as long as he stopped before he made himself sick. He started but then he wouldn’t stop. He healed my leg, drank the potion and healed me all the more. He sounded so desperate to heal me, to fix what he could...”

“I’m sure we will all be having words with him when he wakes.”   
“No need.  _ I  _ will be having words. He’ll listen to me, hopefully,” Vasco sighed. If he had to be stern to ensure he listened then so be it.   
Petrus nodded. “Do not be too harsh on him, captain. It is in nature to mend and heal whatever he is able to. It is against who he is to simply stop healing someone when they still have wounds. He does not like to decide what wounds can stay and which can go.”

“He will have to learn before something goes really wrong. I love him, Petrus, make no mistake, but he can be an idiot- especially when it comes to his own well being,” Vasco grumbled.

Petrus sighed. “As strange as it may sound, growing up in a palace where you are fourteenth in line, I am not surprised that he thinks less of himself compared to those around him. He has grown up always being lesser than those he cares about. He knows only to serve, to make things better.”

“Maybe,” he sighed. The more he heard about nobility the happier he was to be a Naut, and he couldn't wait to take De Sardet away from it all. “Don’t let Kurt come in here full of thunder. This is something I need to talk to him about, it is between us.”   
“I understand. Kurt is out at the moment with Aphra dealing with a few things. I doubt he will wake before tomorrow afternoon. You should be awake by then, provided you  _ go to sleep _ .”   
  
Vasco yielded. He lay down. Petrus retrieved a book from the bookshelf and opened it, giving Vasco half-privacy. He rested his head against De Sardet’s chest, listening to his heartbeat and the occasional turn of a page. He still fought against it for a while. “Am I doing something wrong?” he mumbled. “Maybe I told him too much… maybe I shouldn’t talk about it at all...”   
  
“You are not doing anything wrong. It is good to talk, but you both need time. It is the best soul healer. De Sardet was deeply upset when he found out you were gone and read the note. Since then he's been stony faced. I think that stone finally cracked. You must be patient. Guide De Sardet onto a calmer path where you can  _ both _ heal.”   
“I’ll try...” he didn’t remember anything else, just darkness and the flickering of paper.

* * *

_Vasco_

He snapped awake hearing a door open, sitting up quickly with clenched fists, sending a wave of dizziness over him. Petrus braced to have to catch him.

"At ease," Kurt reassured him.

Vasco relaxed and lay back down, taking a moment to listen for De Sardet's heartbeat. It was still there, still strong. 

"So he did it yet again?" Kurt sighed.  
"He was upset," Vasco answered. "I'll talk to him when he wakes up."  
"And is this as soft Vasco or Captain Vasco?" Kurt asked.  
"Captain. I can't let him keep doing this to himself."

"Certainly not when his magic isn't fully developed," Petrus added.  
"He's always been the same," Kurt grumbled.

Vasco cuddled in close to De Sardet. He was still a little cool, but not as bad. It was a relief for his still hot skin. He hoped this fever would leave soon, but even as the thought crossed his mind, he coughed, and it did not sound or feel healthy.

“I’ll be keeping an eye on that cough, Captain,” Kurt said.   
Vasco waved it off. “I’m fine.”   
Petrus collected a glass of water for him and he drank it down. His fingers were perhaps only half-healed, but with his shoulders in a better state, it meant that he was able to hold it without dropping it. He was grateful for the fact his jaw no longer throbbed. He thanked him quietly.

“You planning on going back to sleep or should I bring you a book?” Kurt asked him.   
More sleep sounded so promising for his sore eyes and he yawned softly, but he didn’t want to spend all day sleeping. He wanted to try to get back into a routine. Besides if he had a bad dream he could hurt De Sardet or Petrus if he tried to wake him. “If you could bring my journal, I would appreciate it.”   
Kurt nodded and went downstairs to get it for him.

Vasco looked at Petrus, “You can go if you want? I’ll be up for a while. I’ll let you know if I get tired.”   
“Very well,” he said, but he sounded reluctant. “I think he will be just fine. I will leave you to your privacy and indulge in some much needed rest.”

“Thank you, Petrus, I appreciate, well, everything.”   
Petrus nodded to him and left.

After Kurt had dropped off his book, it had begun to rain. Vasco would have enjoyed his time alone, writing in his log, if he hadn’t been making a report of everything that had happened. He managed to not get physically upset, and in ways it helped to get it all out. He wrote all he could remember, keeping it factual, not reflecting too much on his emotion just yet. It was nice to have a few tranquil moments, his only concern needed to be checking on De Sardet. His cough became more noticeable, and he guessed he’d ended up with some sort of infection but he wasn’t sure. It would fade on its own.

De Sardet’s sleep seemed to be getting lighter and lighter as time passed. He was going to wake up soon, and Vasco tried to plan out the words he could say. He had to stop De Sardet from pushing himself so much for him when there was no need. He’d say what he had to to stop him getting himself killed.

Right on queue, De Sardet groaned and his eyes opened. Vasco took a deep breath and steeled himself. He knew what he had to do.


	21. It's Not Your Fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings for this one, though Vasco and De Sardet have an argument/discussion, nothing crazy though.

_ Vasco _

"Enjoy your sleep?" Vasco asked, raising an eyebrow. De Sardet immediately dipped underneath the challenge, however small it was. At least he looked guilty.  
"I'm-"  
"Don't say you're sorry when you're not," Vasco said flatly. "I asked you not to heal me anymore and you did it anyway. I want you to be safe, Benjamin, is that so bad for me to ask for?"

De Sardet didn't speak. What could he say? He looked down at his cold hands.

Vasco turned onto his side to face him in bed. "Why do you have to do this to yourself? You push and push and  _ push _ until you drop and then you stand back up and push all over again. Petrus had to watch you all night because he worried your heart would stop with all the exertion. All we want is for you to be safe!" his voice got a little firmer, but it made him cough. He turned away until it faded, it only brought how warm he felt to his attention. He really was feverish but that would have to wait. 

"Are you alright?" De Sardet asked softly.  
"Fine," he waved him off.  
He could see the sadness in Benjamin's eyes but this time he had to be sure. He  _ had _ to know he wouldn't suffer on his behalf again.

"Okay… I… I just…" he closed his mouth again. He looked surprised when Vasco didn't just butt in and cut him off. De Sardet shook his head and got out of bed, having to lean against the bed frame as he pinched the bridge of his nose as if it would stop the tears. Vasco tried to reach for his wrist but he didn’t get hold of him in time. He could only watch him struggle.

"Go on," Vasco said, softer this time. “Let me understand, Benjamin.” He still wanted to hear what he had to say. He found there was nothing worse than a scolding where you couldn’t even try to explain yourself. He'd made the point when he was captain to give men the chance to speak.

De Sardet struggled to make eye contact with him. "You are the  _ only _ thing I have- of course there's Constantin, but it's not the same. He's family, but I don't have a future with him like I do with you… I hate seeing you suffering, knowing I could lose you and lose everything. I can't lose you, it would destroy me."  
Vasco hadn’t really considered that. Aside from his role as legate, he’d come to this island as a blank canvas. He had nothing else, but that did not excuse his actions when he was safe.  "And you weren't going to lose me. I told you I was alright. I hate seeing you suffer, Benjamin; this is why I was hesitant to tell you anything because you get so worried and  _ refuse _ to think of yourself."

"It wasn't because you told me about what happened, it wasn't that! You can trust me with that." De Sardet exclaimed.  
"Can I? Why else did you push yourself? You seemed fine, you were calm and then you walked back in and then you just lost control like you were a different man-"

" _ Because it's my fault! _ " De Sardet burst, turning around eyes wide and fists clenched. Vasco tensed at his sudden change. "It's my fault you got hurt like this. It's my fault I'm not good enough to heal you more without dropping and it's my fault I didn't kill that bastard when I had the chance! It’s my fault, Vasco, because I couldn’t protect you and I couldn’t heal you. Now you're sick and don't insult my intelligence by saying you're fine."

The air shook with the admission, but he wasn’t done. De Sardet couldn’t stop as tears streamed down his cheeks. “So you’re right, I’m not sorry for healing you. I’m not and never will be. But I am sorry for everything else. I should be the one carrying these wounds, not you. I’m sorry for not being fast enough, and I’m sorry that everything I do just seems to hurt you. I’m sorry for  _ everything _ , Vasco, really I am but I am trying to be better for you."

De Sardet let his head drop. “I...I just wanted to fix what I could… I wanted to help you and take away the pain like I  _ should _ have been able to."  
Vasco was quiet for a moment, trying to process everything that had just been hurled at him with such speed and ferocity. "Benjamin… come here, love, please.”

De Sardet hesitated before he inched closer, reluctantly getting back on the bed, kneeling in front of him. He looked half braced for a slap or getting bellowed at. Neither of those was going to happen. Vasco guided him into sitting so he could hold him, and he let him cry into his chest. “I.I’m sorry I’m. I'm not good enough...” De Sardet whispered.

“You are good enough, Tempest, this wasn't your fault. You don't have to take all the responsibility for this-"  
"Yes, I do." His voice cracked.  
"And why is that?" Vasco said, hoping logic would help sway him from his guilt.  
"Because I love you, and I don't want to lose you. Because I'm a Legate and all I'm ever expected to do is fix things. Your pain is a result of my actions and it’s not fair on you to deal with the consequences of my actions."

Vasco took him by the jaw and brought his face up to look at him with a carefully measured amount of force. He hoped fire showed in his eyes. "Now you listen to me, Benjamin De Sardet, neither of us are to blame for this. Rolf caught me, Rolf hurt me, and  _ Rolf _ is responsible. You searched for me, you found me, and you healed me and saved my life. You have  _ already _ fixed this." Vasco looked into his sad blue eyes and waited a moment for that to sink in. Then he softened, cupping his cheek and relaxing his body. "But some things just need time. I cannot let you keep forcing yourself. If something happened to you because you were healing me when it wasn’t essential I’d never forgive myself. I don't blame you, and neither should you."   


De Sardet bowed his head and Vasco let him cry into his chest again. He stroked his hair. He closed his eyes, trying to relax but it was difficult with the thoughts swirling around his mind. "You are enough, and you have been a massive help, but I need you to slow down, that’s all. Just slow down, and care about yourself at least a fraction of the amount you care for me. This has been tough on you, I understand, but you  _ have _ to understand me too."

De Sardet pressed his head harder against his chest. “Okay,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”   
“Shhhh, it’s okay… We can put this behind us now. It's all going to be fine, Tempest, I promise."

Vasco held him for so long, rocking him back and forth slightly and humming until he fell asleep in his arms. He showed no sign of waking soon. He still had so much energy to build up. Vasco was stuck, and he had nothing else to do but think, to dwell on his cough and worsening fever. He was sick of feeling like Rolf still had power over him. He hated how he still controlled his life even though he was stopped. Part of him had been left in that camp and he wanted it back.

Kurt very gently opened the door to check on them both. Vasco raised a hand as a signal that all was well. Kurt crept inside.   
“Well?”   
“I think I’ve gotten through to him… He felt responsible, so he was trying his best to fix what he could.”

Kurt nodded softly. “Should have guessed. Do you need anything?”   
“Water if you don’t mind. That and... Did you kill Rolf?”   
“Sadly no, he’s locked up again, he hangs tomorrow evening.”   
Vasco nodded softly. “I want to see him before his execution.”

Kurt pulled a face of surprise. “Are you  _ sure _ ?”

Vasco coughed again, it was so aggressive-sounding and he couldn't quieten it. He took a moment afterwards to catch his breath and grip tightly at the blankets in frustration.   
“It’s my only chance, I want to face him, and I need to know that he knows he holds nothing over me. I need that peace of mind before it’s a conflict I can never resolve.”   
Kurt sighed, “Well, if your minds made up. I’ll go have a word with Manfred. Hats off to you, Captain, doing what you intend to… that takes guts.”

Vasco shrugged it off. “I feel more like I’m doing it more to spite him rather than courage.”  
“That may be, but you’re still doing it. I’ll go and get you that water, and some medicine… Look after him for me while I’m gone.”   
“I will.”

Only when Kurt left, Vasco turned to see De Sardet’s eyes were open, red and a little puffy, but open. “Hey,” Vasco said softly.   
“Afternoon,” De Sardet mumbled. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. “You… really mean to go and see Rolf?”   
Vasco nodded. “It’s something I need to do.”

“Then I’ll support you however you need me, if you'll let me?”

Vasco kissed his head, “Thank you, Tempest. Now go back to sleep.”

* * *

_ Vasco _

The next day was tense. Vasco's fever had definitely gotten worse but he was doing everything he could to hide it. He growled in annoyance when he couldn’t brush his own hair without his arms hurting, but he accepted De Sardet’s help. He appreciated how gentle he was. “I have a bit of a present for you… seems it will come in handy,” De Sardet admitted.   
“Oh? How so?”

De Sardet got up and opened the chest at the foot of his bed. “I asked Kurt and Aphra to get you a thing or two.”   
Vasco paused, seeing his hat on the top of the chest, noting a Naut coat beneath it, and not just any coat but a Captain's coat. He hadn’t worn a captain’s coat since he’d been skullied... De Sardet lay them out of the bed and then reached back down, he’d even gotten him a fresh pair of boots since his were scraped and ruined. “I also had your sword fixed too. I remember saying you didn’t like the hilt you had on, so I changed it to one I think you’ll like more.”

Vasco stared at his sabre as De Sardet revealed it and he reached out for it. De Sardet turned it around and passed it to him, handle first. Vasco couldn’t hold the weight easily until his arm fully healed but it did feel and look a lot better than it had. “Thank you, De Sardet… I. I don’t know what to say.”

De Sardet took the sword away from him, “I think a kiss will do it.”   
“Then I owe you a thousand.” Vasco reached forward and kissed him on the lips.   
“Nine hundred and ninety-nine,” he smiled.

De Sardet helped him get ready and put his hat on for him. Vasco hoped he didn't look as ill as he felt. It felt so good to be in a coat again, but it was so heavy and hot on his battered body.  
“There’s my captain…" De Sardet beamed. "Are you certain you want to do this, there’s no shame in changing your mind?”   
“I won’t pretend I’m not anxious… but I’m ready. I can face him, leave it all in that cell and walk away.”   


De Sardet smiled at him. “It’s good to hear. Do you want me to go in the cell with you?”

Vasco nodded. He needed his tempest there behind him. Facing him alone would just be too much and he felt so sick. He needed him there in case anything went wrong. He couldn't do this without him. “If you don’t mind, or I can ask someone else. You don’t need to speak to him, just make sure I don’t do something I... probably won’t regret. I won’t be long, I know what I want to say, and I don’t care about what he has to say in return.”

“Then I’ll be with you.” A kiss sealed that promise.


End file.
